Lesson in Trusting His Heart

I had such a great lesson from God last night. It involves electricity (power) and how God just wants me to have pure motives.

I was leaving the house at 5:30 to go meet some friends for dinner when the power went out. I went on to meet my friends and called the house a few times from the restaurant to see if the answering machine picked up so I would know if the power was back on or not. Finally about 7:30 the machine picked up. I got home at about 8:40-8:45, changed clothes, started the lawn sprinklers in the front and back yards and made myself an ice cream cone. I get all settled on the couch and "click" no electricity. I sat in the dark and finished the ice cream. No lights. So I stumble around with only the light from my cell phone and find the lighter and start lighting candles, find the flashlight I just bought a few weeks ago, and find my last electricity bill. I call them and get an automated response that it will be repaired at 11:00. Two hours....I can deal with that. I went outside to move the sprinklers and my neighbor was out so we stood out there and chatted for 30 minutes and saw the electric company truck go by. She was a little drunk from her birthday dinner so we were cheering for the truck. I go back inside and 11:00 comes and goes and no lights. So, I call them again. They say it will be up at 1:00 a.m. I say my second round of prayers for God to get it going because I can't go to church if I don't have electricity. (My garage is detached and there is only the main door to get in and out. Without electricity I can't operate the garage door opener. Therefore, can't get my car out to go anywhere!) I prayed for God to get the lights back on so I can go to church. I was mad at him cause it was hot in here! :) I try to sleep. It's starting to get hot in the house. Remember this is TEXAS........ TEXAS = HOT!!!! It was triple digits all day long.

I wake up drenched in sweat at 1:00 so I called them again and this time I get no confirmation of a repair time. I prayed again and explained to God how my motive to go to church is a good thing, therefore, He ought to honor it and turn the power back on. I got up to open all the windows and lay back down with a bottle of ice cold Diet Lipton Mixed Berry Green Tea on my chest......... amazing how something so simple can cool you down when you are in sweltering heat! Anyway, I am trying to sleep and I see lights outside. The power company is working on the pole in the alley behind my house. I watched them for a while and the guy up in the bucket working on the pole is hitting the line that runs into my house. I realized how dangerous his job it. I began to pray for the 3 men who are out there working to have wisdom to find the problem and especially for their safety. I feel God telling me to take them something cold to drink so I get up and throw on a pair of shorts and take them all a bottle of cold water. I chatted for a minute and one of them tells me that they can't find the problem but know it's not in this pole and they will have to move on down the street a way to get it going. I told them to be safe and that I appreciate their hard work in the middle of the night and went back in the house.

Within 5 minutes the lights came on! Lesson: God wanted me to pray for others and not for myself. It is a good thing to want to go to church but it's more important I put others first in all things. Less of me and more of Him. I heard a sermon on the radio the other day that talked about expecting more of ourselves and less of others as a way to live. I guess I was supposed to hear it because God used it to teach me a valuable lesson on one of the hottest nights so far this year! I'm sorry by neighbors had to sweat for hours while God taught me a lesson, I owe them a barbecue or something!

God is good!

Blessing Abound!

I got a new car today. It's an 07 Pontiac Grand Prix, it's a goldish/brown color, leather seats, moon roof, kick butt stereo and I got it for the price I wanted with the payment I wanted! God is so good to me! I anguished for months over buying a new car but God delivered for me! I prayed and prayed over this and then last week I found out the rack and pinion needed to be replaced in my old car. It was a Mercury Sable and had 194,000 miles on it! I literally drove the wheels off it. I had to stop 3 times on the way to the car dealership to put power steering fluid in it to even get it over there! Talk about God's perfect timing! It was spewing ps fluid all over their parking lot...embarassing!

God gave me 2 Sam 7:28 last night

O Sovereign LORD, you are God! Your words are trustworthy, and you have promised these good things to your servant

I meditated on it and went to sleep with it on my lips. In this verse David is thanking God even though he found out he would not have the priviledge of building the temple. He still loved God and praised Him. As I drifted off to sleep with this verse in my mouth I had a vision and it was as if I was in heaven. Everything was like it was coated in water, the most crystal clear water you could imagine and it was magnificient. I don't know why I was there or what I was doing but it was a beautiful place and I felt safer than I have ever left before, more peace than I have ever felt before. It was just a few seconds but it was wonderful. The colors of everything were brighter than I have ever seen them, almost like a cartoon. It was very clean and perfect in every sense. I remember seeing it, feeling the peace, and then going back to sleep. I think it was God's love, He showed me what He has for me. Peace beyound anything I could ever hope for. That's all I want. My life has never been peaceful, it has been filled with turmoil and chaos. God is my refuge, my rock, my peace! He showed it to me!

I had this vision/dream after I prayed over having to go car shopping. Some people are afraid of flying and I just can't understand that. I have a fear of major purchases.....it cripples me. So I prayed and prayed over this purchase. I asked God to have the sales person He wanted to help me be the one I talked to. I prayed over the people who would deal with the financing too. He worked it all out for me. I was driving home in my new car in less than 4 hours! I still can't believe it's mine....well it's the finance companies until I get it paid for but you know what I mean!

GOD IS GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!

A Baby Made My Day!

I have been kinda down lately. I really get lonely at times and yearn for a good husband, key word "good"! :)

There is a kid at work (he is 24-keep in mind my sons are 30 & 28) that professed a crush he has had on me for a few years now! It just totally made my day! He was so nervous to tell me, he kept putting his head down and would raise it every few seconds to make sure no one was hearing his words but me. I invited him to my church a few months back and he has been going but it's such a big church that I don't even know he's there until I see him at work and ask if he went. He started the conversation by talking about church and then he said. "Why don't you do your eyes for work like you do for church?" (meaning make up) and I said "Are you kidding? I'm not trying to impress anyone around here." and he said "You have the most beautiful eyes. When I see you at church I am like 'dang, she is so pretty'." I was shocked! He went on to tell me that he has liked me since the first time he saw me and he doesn't understand why I am single. He said "You don't have any idea how beautiful you are do you?" and I said "No, I am just average." and he asked why I would say that. I told him because I am fat, and if I were so beautiful why don't any men at church ever talk to me. I have been going there for over a year now and not one man has approached me. He said that he didn't know why and that they must all be crazy! I thanked him and told him how sweet I think he is, how he made my day, and how much I appreciate his kind words. I also told him if I were 10 years younger that we might work something out. He just smiled!

It's wonderful how God knows when you need that little boost to your self-esteem. This young man gave me hope that I will find an older man who admires me like he does and I will get that fairy-tale happiness I so desire! I am looking for a needle in a haystack. The man for me HAS TO KNOW GOD, FEAR GOD, LOVE GOD, and SERVE GOD......EVERYDAY OF HIS LIFE! No exceptions! He has to be able to love me as Christ loved the church and know the true Biblical order of things, be able to cover me with prayer, and allow me to be his true help-meet as God orders in His word. There is a blog that I read here and this couple has this down to a t! He provides and she uses those resources to make a home for them and their 3 kids! It makes me smile to read her posts about her life. She is so humble about it and acts like she was just blessed. She truly is a Proverbs 31 woman and I admire her for that. It is my desire to be that Proverbs 31 woman too. I just need my Proverbs 31 man! :) I will trust in God to bring him to me in my season!

Life is Sweet!

Rude People

I went to get the "do" done today! Cut and color...my youth has been restored. YEAH! Another customer came in while I was there and had scheduled a cut and color before she came in with my hairdresser, Pannee. The shop is run by the owner and she is the only one who does hair there....hence, only one chair! This other customer changes her mind and only wants a cut because all she has is $20 and can't afford the color...ummm, excuse me but why did you ask for color if all you have is $20? This is 2008 you know!

Anyway, that throws Pannee off schedule. She planned to cut my hair while the color processed on Miss Thang. She cuts Miss Thang's hair and then calls me back in. I sit in the chair and Miss Thang is in the mirror using the flat iron on her hair. Remember this is a one woman shop and is very, very small. She is almost hitting me in the head with her elbows while she is messing with the flat iron. I wanted to put the flat iron where the sun don't shine!! She keeps asking Pannee to "look at it now" and had Pannee quit cutting my hair 3 times to "take just a chunk off here". I was ready to choke her! Finally, Pannee, told her "I told you you have to come back if you not like the cut. I have to finish this customer hair now." YEAH, PANNEE!!!

Miss Thang was of middle-eastern descent and I have found that almost always they are rude people. Never in a million years would I have expected someone to cut and color my hair for $20 and then taken the hairdressers time from another customer to focus on me. RUDE, RUDE, RUDE!!!!!!!! I guess it's just the culture that makes them that way. Maybe they dont' see it as rude but in America we do. I try not to stereotype people but when stuff like this happens it's hard not to!

Hello Sports Fans

Sorry for the long delay in updating my blog! Here is what is going on in my world! I went to Indy for my sis's 50th Birthday pary and it rocked! Here is a pic of my best friends in the whole world! Robin, Kim (the birthday girl) and me. She was totally surprised and we had a wonderful time. We danced, my niece did the cutest skit of moments throughout Kim's life, we ate, drank and were merry! We got to take a moment to tell her how much we love her so it was great!

OK...what else.....church is....I know you won't believe this.....OFF THE CHAIN!!! Here is a prayer of blessing my pastor prayed over the women yesterday. Many of us have not been blessed as Issac blessed Jacob in Genesis 27. He thought he was blessing Esau but Esau had sold his birthright for some stew and then lost his blessing too. Many of us didn't have fathers to pass a blessing on to us and we don't have our society set up anymore that God's word is important or even necessary for our lives. If we live a true Christian life people treat us like we are strange but that's OK Christians are foreigners...we are not home because heaven is our home! Here is the blessing:

Dear God,
I trust you to give me what’s mine.
Thank you for my future.
Thank you for my hope.
Thank you for my plan.
Thank you for what’s coming to me.
Thank you that I am special.
Thank you that I am significant.
Thank you for making me a Queen.
And may I not settle for anything that reduces me from being the Queen that you have made me.
Thank you that I can look forward to getting from you all that your will has promised to me.

I’m going to follow you until my change comes.

Thank you, Jesus!

I bought the sermon on CD so I could write this blessing down. I transcribed it from the CD, printed 3 copies: posted one on each bathroom mirror and the third copy in my Bible. I will read it everyday until it is ingrained in my heart. I was in tears and had I not been in church I would have been in audible sobs while the Pastor was reading the sermon. OK...church got better.....

I volunterred to be a mentor in the Project Turn Around outreach ministry at my church. Click here to check it out! Click on "The National Church Adopt-A-School" program link to see a video on the program. I will be mentoring 4 teen-age girls at a local high school. After my interview the man, whose name is Moses, shook my hand and said "God has a message for you. He wants you to know that He has something big in store for you. He is getting ready to do something in your life. And your latter years will be far greater then the former." I started to cry and he told me not to. He then told me he would be honored for me to be a mentor at the school where he oversees the outreach program. I was so honored and humbled. God is working in my life and I am so excited to be His vessel. God uses broken people so I am not too broke for God to use me. He used Rahab who was a prostitute at one time in the lineage of Jesus Christ! He used Moses to lead the Isralites out of captivity and Moses was a murdered. He use Samson and Samson was a big time player! He used Peter who denied at one time that Jesus was God. So I know He can use me too!

Go get your blessing!

My Biggest Struggle

WEIGHT! I have battled my weight my whole life. The battle has reared it's ugly head once again. I was 49 pounds lighter this time last year. Today I am taking control and going to win this battle in my lifelong war once again! It's time to bring in the recon team!

I am more than a conquerer! I can do all thing through Christ who strengthenes me!

So, hear this you ugly 49 pounds....you're going down, baby!

Who I Am!

I found this on the web today! It can be found here! I rock and so do you!!! I don't care when I think or what you think about me, all I care about is what God thinks of me!

I am a child of God John 1: 12 I am a joint-heir with Christ Romans 8: 17I am the righteousness of God in Christ. 2 Cor.5: 21I am the temple of the Holy Spirit. 1 Cor. 6: 19 I am the apple of His eye. Zec.2: 8I am an ambassador for Christ. 2 Cor.5: 20I am free from condemnation Romans 8: 1I am more than a conqueror Romans 8: 17I am the salt of the earth. Mathew 5: 13I am the light of the world Mathew 5: 14 & Eph. 5: 8I am a member of the household of faith Gal.6 :10I am a branch of the True Vine John 15: 5I am the will of God James 1: 8I am in the palm of the Lord’s Hand Isa. 49: 16I am covered by the shadow of His Hand Isa. 51: 6I am loved by God as much as He loves Jesus John 17:23I am in God’s Hand and none can pluck me out John10:28 am delivered from sin Romans 6: 7I am free from weaknesses and diseases. Matt.8: 17I am complete in Him. Col.2: 10I am translated into the kingdom of God’s Son.Col.1:13 I am delivered from the power of darkness Col. 1: 13I am accepted in Him Eph. 1: 6I am dead to sin and alive to God in Christ.Rom.6:11I am seated in heavenly places in Christ. Eph. 2: 6I am redeemed from the curse of the law. Gal. 3: 13I am in Christ. 1 Cor. 1: 30I am hidden with Christ in God. Col. 3: 3This revelation of God concerning me is found in His Holy Word. Sense knowledge (the knowledge gained through seeing, hearing, smelling, touching and tasting) and my varying circumstances may not reveal the same and in reality contradict this revelation, but when I stand on the naked Word of God alone, God confirms His Word.I am the daughter of the Almighty God through Jesus Christ, His Son. Chosen before the foundation of the world to be His witness in this world and to do His will for His glory. My Heavenly Father promised to lead, guide and provide all the days of my life. I am the Lord’s ambassador in this world. God by His Spirit indwells me and now I am His Temple. My relationship with the Lord is real and it is a privilege to know Him, love Him and serve Him!! Praise His wonderful Name!

The Trip

San Francisco was great! I got to see Alcrataz (see it way in the distance, in the middle of the pic...yep, that's it) and the Golden Gate Bridge from Pier 39, we didn't get any closer and didn't get to go into downtown San Francisco but maybe if I ever get to go again I will. We went to Santa Cruz which was OK. Darrell took me to a really nice restaurant that was, we thought, the same restaurant where a scene from Mrs. Doubtfire was filmed but turns out it was 2 blocks from that restaurant. He got pulled over for driving too slow after we left and, thank God, he was not arrested cause I had no idea where we were or how to get back to my hotel! I told him that is what he gets for DWB (Driving While Black!)!!!

The best part was I got to see Deana again! I am sooooooo very proud of her! Her family is just lovely, she has a nice home and keeps it so clean. She made dinner for us and it was wonderful. She has done so well for herself. Completely the opposite of the chaos she grew up in! Here she is! From the left: me, Kaylen, Deana, Kody, and Karsha.

I am confused about Darrell. We did have a nice time but I think I liked him more than he liked me. He is still on the Internet dating site where we met and checks it everyday because it tells you when the last time a member logged on. I do check because I want to know. He says he is not looking for other women and that I am the only one he is interested in but yet his actions speak louder than his words. I did put my profile back up, just to guard my heart. He is a VERY good man. If I want someone who will always take care of me, never cheat on me, and be kind and loving he is the man. But, there was no passion at all. He is affectionate but the passion was not there. He doesn't like to kiss and that is a very big deal for me. I think he is more concerned with making money than having a life long partner, a lover, a wife. My feeling is that you can't take money with you but the people you loved....that will never die! He is practically the sole caregiver for his mother. He changes her diapers and makes sure she is feed through her feeding tube every 4 hours. How many sons would do that? Probably just a hand full of men. So, I just don't know. I really like him, I could see myself growing old with him.....but..... and it's a big but....he has halitosis. Bad halitosis! I didn't tell him because how do you tell someone that. Deana said I should said "Here's some gum. Take it with you everywhere." She is so funny!! She said he is a good man too because he was helping her daughter with her homework. How many men would do that too? Again, not many! Time will tell if he is the one or not. I do ask anyone reading this to pray for him. He does not have medical insurance and just ran out of his blood pressure medicine. It is 236/117.....way too high. I am afraid he will have a stroke. He has an enlarged heart and is not supposed to lift more than 5o pounds but lifts his mother all the time. He needs God's healing!

So I won't be moving to California anytime soon. Would love to get out of here but don't know where to go! Somewhere warm and tropical! hmmmm

Sad

I am profoundly sad....don't know why....just am.

Yes, I do know why...it's my job. My new partner is a pain in the ass. I miss my old partner...he rocked. This new one wants to prove how smart he is...he wants to be the "big duck in the little pond"....he is trying to prove he knows more than I do.....what I joke, I dont' know crap so it doesn't take much to do that! haha My job used to be great....now I cry on the way in to work. I used to love it....amazing how one person can make your life miserable! I wish he would quit....I know that won't happen. I need to find what it is I am to learn from this situation.

Also, my son is mad at me again. Matt stays mad at me. His wife won't email me anymore....they even cut me off from Heather....she is not allowed to answer my emails either. He is so very wrong.....so very, very wrong. I am soooooooooooooooo disappointed in his behaviour. But, I have Dave back....to tell the truth that makes up for Matt 100 times over! Dave is an amazing man, he is smart, the funniest person on the planet, he is caring, loving, and the kind of son every mother wishes for. I am so proud of him I can hardly stand it! His wife is just too precious! His dauther is a joy! I love all three of them with all my heart and soul! Pray for Matt. He has issues. He makes me sad.

Scared, very, very scared.....

Only 4 days until I fly to San Francisco to meet Darrell. I am scared out of my mind! Not scared of him hurting me physically, but rather emotionally. It's like the first date that you've waited your whole life for. Not only have I bought new clothes, but I had the highlights and new cut done on my do today! I'm going for the pedicure tomorrow or Monday. I'll board that plane Wednesday morning at 9:30 a.m. and in a few hours I'll land in San Francisco and be in the arms of the man I've been talking to, dreaming about, and planning a tentative future with. Will I like him as much as I think I will? Will he like me? Will there be chemistry between us? Will we be as compatible in person as we are on the phone? Will he pick his teeth, or worse...his nose in public? Will he have bad breath? Will he fall madly in love with me, treat me with respect and kindness all the days of my life?

Or will it be a nice trip, to meet a nice man, and I'll have a nice flight home, and go on living my life?

So much is at stake. I can't relax but I want to so very desperately. Really I do! I've been in tears for 2 days now. I'm just a nervous wreck. I want to cancel the trip. He bought the ticket, so obviously he cares for me. No man has ever done that for me. It's been 50/50 with every man I've ever met. But I'm not the person I was. I have confidence and refuse to be treated as anything but a woman who is to be cherished and treated as such! I have no problem saying "Next". As a matter of fact I got asked out tonight by 3 different men. I turned them all down because I want to focus on Darrell and see what happens. They were all local men but I would rather fly to San Francisco to see what will happen with this guy. He seems different, he seems real, he seems like the total package. I'll know in 4 more days.

Life is sweet.

Spring Break

One of the joys of returning to school is Spring Break! Seems like the semester just started and here it is time for a break already! Oh, what am I doing on Spring Break you ask? I'm going here to see the man who owns this company , New Oak Cabinetry. I've never been to San Francisco before so am thrilled! I can hardly wait. We are doing to the Pier, Napa Valley, Alcatraz, and to see Deana! Deana babysat the boys when they were little. She lived across the street from us and we have never lost contact. Deana is married now with kids of her own. She is a very good Christian and has a husband who is very good to her. She is almost like a daughter to me and I just love her to death! We haven't seen each other for about 10 years.

Now, about the man! We met on the internet last summer. We lost touch. I thought he was not interested so I continued to surf the website we met on but nothing came up. I was going through my inbox before I deleted my account for good and ran across an old message from him, clicked on it because I didn't remember who he was and he replied to me. The site is designed to alert you when someone looks at your profile. Since I looked at his it let him know I had. The rest is history. He bought me a plane ticket and told me to bring my good black dress because he's taking me to a really nice restaurant in San Francisco. I've never been to a really nice restaurant. I can hardly wait!!!! He seems to truly care about me and vice versa. He is a good man, very caring and puts others before himself. He is, most importantly, a Christian. If we click I would have to move there. That would be great because I would get to live near Deana again. That would rock!

Time will tell!

I leave on the 12th and coming back on the 16th!

Can't wait!

Life is Sweet!

My Song

This song defines my entire life....it says exactly how I feel in my heart. I live and breathe for Christ alone. When life seems to be too much I remember His grace and His tender mercy and die to myself that others will see Him and not me. It brings John 3:30 to mind "He must increase and I must decrease." There can be no life without a death. In order for the butterfly to live the moth must die. In order to have Christ manifest Himself in me, I have to die to my will and my desires. What He has for me is so much greater than what I could ever hope to have.

My Pastor has challenged each member of the church to win one soul for Christ in 2008. I have witnessed to two people already but they did not make a decision at that point. The seed in planted though. It is truly my desire to win souls for Christ. My class ring from DBU has an image of Jesus on one side holding a fishing net, the net wraps around the bottom of the ring up to the opposite side. This net is a reminder to all students to be fishers of men; to fulfil the great commission that Jesus commanded of His followers.

In Christ alone I place my trust!

Life is sweet, sweet indeed!

Grad School

Class started....I am tooooooo old for this! I thought I loved school....I was wrong! I love the last class, I love the graduation, I love saying I have a degree. That's it! I loathe the rest! hahaha I have to force myself to study. I should be studying right now but am blogging and watching stuff I TiVo'd 2 weeks ago. I have clean closets and an organized pantry....anything productive to keep from studying!

I should be at work right now but have another cold! Things are rough with my new partner at work. Any and all prayers are coveted! Youth is no match for age and wisdom! I hope he will settle down and "get" what we do. So far the wheel is still spinning but the hamster's gone!

Speaking of work.....I walked back to the back the other day....didn't see anyone along the way which is really not all that unusual. Get in the break room to buy a drink before I head to my office and one of the other GL's pops in and says "You know you got something going on with your pants, right?". I say "No, what are you talking about?" He repeats himself. I again say I don't know what he is talking about. Then he says "Check the back of your pants." Yep, you guessed it....a rip...a BIG old rip! I immediately tied my hoodie around my waist and told my SGL I had to leave to buy some new jeans. I found my partner and told him he would have to get the shift going and I would be back ASAP. I run to the evil empire (Wal-Mart) cause it is closest to work and buy some jeans, I even took the time to try them on. I get back to the DC, walk the mile to the back again and put them on and go to zip them up and....drum roll....the zipper broke! I was sooooooooo mad! I was not a happy camper. I took them off, put my ripped jeans back on, put the hoodie back over my rear end and went to my start-up meeting. I got the guys going and then had a meeting with my SGL. As we were wrapping the meeting up an announcement went out over the intercom that a Team Member was hurt in one of my areas. My SGL and I practically ran down there to see what it was. Of couse the area was about a 1/2 mile from her office. We get there just as they were taking him to the nurses office so I went up there to get him squared away and then went back to Wal-Mart to get yet another pair of jeans! Talk about a harried start to the night. You would think that showing your rear at work (literally) would be bad but the night went down hill from there! Having a wardrobe malfunction when you are the Supervisor of 27 men is NOT a good thing! But (no pun intended) I made it through and now have a new pair of jeans! Trust me, I did some checking on the other's before I went to work the next night!!

Alright...Survey of Accounting is calling my name! I'd rather watch paint dry...it would be WAY MORE EXCITING!!

Life is Sweet!

He Made My Life Complete

This is an email I got from my oldest son, David when I emailed my family that I had been accepted to Graduate School. I replied back to him and told him that all I have gone through in my life was all made worthwhile by his words to me. Here it is:

Mom, I love you to death and I want you to know that I am more proud
of you than I can express. In the past few years you have made difficult
decisions and changes in your life. Now here you are on your way to
completeing what most will never attempt. You are an amazing woman and I
am proud to say that your my Mother.


Love,

David

Knowing that I am loved deeply and have made my child proud of me has truly made my life complete. If you knew Dave you would understand. He is an amazing person, he is sweet, caring, wise beyond his years, very intelligent, and one of the funniest people on earth. I couldn't be prouder to be his Mom! And what better thing is there than that?

I Have Issues!

Self-Esteem
–noun 1. a realistic respect for or favorable impression of oneself; self-respect.

This is what I need! A large dose of it too.

I had a date Saturday night with a really good looking man. He cancelled Friday. Via text message. He hasn't called since. (Keep in mind that I met him on the internet. He made the initial contact. We talked a few times. Lost touch. He called again last week and said he had some life issues come up but was still interested. We met for lunch Monday and then he called a few days later and asked me out for Saturday. HE pursued ME.....he asked me out for the 2nd date..... ???

Prior to the text message I was happy, happy, happy. Post text message I was sad, sad, sad! Saturday night as I was on my way home from work my good friend Roland called. He told me something he used to tell his soldiers. He said "I told them 'You can let them hurt you, torture you, kill you, but never, ever let them take your self-esteem.' Lora, you are letting these men take your self-esteem." I knew he was right and felt the tears well up in my eyes and stream down my face. He hit the nail on the head. So, now that I know what I have been doing I can change that behavior. Obviously, I have issues. Why would I let whether or not I have a man, a good looking man, determine my self-esteem? OK, lets look at the facts here:

I am:

- a Christian who loves the Lord and practices my faith
- a caring mother/sister/aunt/daughter/mom-in-law/grandma
- have a family who truly loves me
- have a lot of very good friends who truly care about me
- educated/intelligent/pursuing a graduate degree
- make very good money
- have "Executive" in my job title
- pay all my bills
- keep one heck of a clean house
- darn good cook
- very funny
- volunteer in my community
- well respected by my employees, my peers, and my superiors at my job
- brush and floss daily :)

Now...if I knew a woman that had all these characteristics I would think she had it going on. I really would. So, why would I think less of this woman because she is me? I have no answer because it makes no sense.

On New Year's Eve, Dr Evan's preached about how we are a masterpiece of God's creation, that there is no one else like us and that God created us just as we are for His purposes. When I think of it that way it takes on a whole new meaning. I heard the song "Fingerprints of God" by Steven Curtis Chapman the other day and it really goes along with what Roland told me. Here are the lyrics. So, think about it and don't let anyone take your self-esteem!

Fingerprints of God

I can see the tears filling your eyes
And I know where they're coming from
They're coming from a heart that's broken in two
By what you don't see
The person in the mirror
Doesn't look like a magazine
Oh but when I look at you
It's clear to me

That I can see the fingerprints of God
When I look at you
I can see the fingerprints of God
And I know it's true
You're a masterpiece that all creation
Quietly applauds
And you're covered with the fingerprints of God

Never has there been and never again
Will there be another you
Fashioned by God's hand and perfectly planned
To be just who you are
And what He's been creating
Since the first beat of your heart
Is a living, breathing
Priceless work of art

And I can see the fingerprints of God
When I look at you
I can see the fingerprints of God
And I know it's true
You're a masterpiece that all creation
Quietly applauds
And you're covered with the fingerprints of God

Just look at you
You're a wonder in the making
Oh, And God's not through
In fact, He's just getting started!

How Will You Be Defined in the Dictionary?

Lora --

[noun]: A person who is a master of making ravioli

'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Hey it could be worse...it could have said "A person who is a master of toilet cleaning"....

So Many Men So Little Time

Wow, just when I give up....the flood gates open up and it's raining men!!!!!!!

God's Blessings

I got the best blessing from God today. I went to pick up my mail from my PO Box and there was a check for $431. I was hoping for $40. I was in tears in the PO! I had just prayed for a financial blessing so that I could buy a coat and work boots for my son. He is having some financial struggles right now and I really can't afford anything extra right now until about February. By then he'll freeze to death working outside in Indiana. So, I prayed. God answered my prayer! I shot off a check to my son, paid a bill, paid my tithes off of the bonus money and have some left over. I might just buy those tables from IKEA that I want for my living room. They have a coffee table and 2 end tables for $75. Not the best but good enough for me!

I have been crying ever since I went to the post office. God is so good. So faithful. He loves us so much. I called my friend Lee and told him about it and he said he wishes he had the same relationship with God that I do. God blessed me last week too. I had to have some work done on my car and they said it would be $250 and it turned out to be something minor that cost $20!!!! I told Lee that my relationship is not special and that God loves him the same as He loves me. Anyone can have it, it's not exclusive. Just trust and obey. I fail, miserably most days, but I truly love the Lord with all my heart, all my soul, and with ever fiber of my being. God has richly blessed me. It may be pocket change to some to have an extra $400, but it's big to me. God blessed me so that I can bless my son. My son said he would not take the money but I insisted. I told him he would be stopping my blessing if he refused. He said he would take it. It feels so good to be able to buy him a warm coat and new shoes. He is 29 but he is still my baby!!!! God is so very good to me. I love Him, I praise Him, I worship Him, I adore Him.

I will be at church to bring in the New Year! I ask you, what better place is there to be on New Years Eve than church? None, I tell you!

Life is sweet. God is so good!!

Merry Christmas!!

Wishing all of you a very Merry Christmas and the best New Year ever!



I am home, I woke up alone, I opened my presents from Lee, he called me 3 times. I called my sons! I called my sister who has a house full; Mom, our other sister, my niece and nephew and a few others are there. I wish I was there. I cried last night because I want to be home so bad! But it was my choice to stay here so I have no one to blame but me. I am still sad, and I still miss them. BUT...it's going to be a great Christmas. I'm going to one of my best friends house. Here is a pic we took at Six Flags a few weeks ago right before we went on the Sponge Bob 4D ride. Her family will be at her home today and she invited me! I am honored to spend the day with them. They are a great Christian family so to celebrate the birth of our Savior with them will be wonderful.



This time of year is so emotional for me. The songs. The lights. The sights. The sounds. The time to really reflect on what is important, what really matters; faith and family. We only pass throught this life once. We can't take anything with us but the love given to us by others. So being a good person is all that really matters. Showing the love of Christ to others, helping those in need. Being a good friend. I have been truly blessed, God has been so good to me and I love him with everyting that is within me!

Sick Again

Darn it! I am sick again....this time I have pneumonia. Never had that before. It sux! Every time I go home in the winter I get sick. I was off work all last week for vacation and then this week I can't go in because of this. My boss got kind of crappy with me too, but if I have pneumonia I can't go in.

I woke up in the middle of the night Friday with a terrible runny nose and feeling lousy. Then I had to wait in Dallas at the airport for 3 hours for a ride home. My ride couldn't pick me up as she had a Christmas party to attend. My flight was delayed by 1.50 hours; not due to the snow storm in Indy but due to high winds in Dallas. Because of the delay she couldn't pick me up and everyone else I called at the last minute already had prior engagements. I asked Lee first but he couldn't do it either. He sux! I stood outside for 30 minutes in that bitter cold in Dallas waiting on the fricking taxi I called. The moron driver drove past me the first time and I couldn't flag him down to stop as I was waiting inside the door to the terminal and couldn't leave my luggage to run after him. I went back in and called again and waited outside this time. That's when I think I did the damage and got pneumonia!

So, I'm home today. Laying on the couch watching movies. Right now I have Elf in which is my FAVORITE Christmas movie. Makes me laugh until I am in tears every time! Here is one of my favorite clips from the movie! Enjoy!!!