I had to get rid of Sadie. She decided it would be a good idea to crawl under our house to enjoy her days. We live in a double wide and for her to be under there we are running a huge risk that she will tear up the duct work that contains our heat/AC work. It happened with another dog and we can't afford for it happen again. We can't afford to put a hot wire around the perimeter of the house to stop her from getting under there either. David tried to block her out but she is so big and strong that she gpt under there anyway.
I cried for several hours last night and again today. I miss my big girl. She came to me for a home and I couldn't help her because I can't afford to pay attention right now, let alone pay for damage she might cause. I didn't have the heart to put her on a chain out in the yard either. I think dogs should be free.
I miss her so much.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Monday, July 25, 2005
Tattoo's
My church had revival this past week and one of the preachers said something that really had an impact on me. He said “Satan will tattoo your past on your mind and use it to stop you from serving God.” He went on to explain that every time you start to do something for God that Satan will use that tattoo to remind you of “what you are” and “what you did” and make you think that God can’t use you. How could God use a sinner like me? After all I did “fill in the blank”. We all know what a tattoo is. It’s something permanent and will always be there. We can have it removed but there will always be a scar showing where it once was. However, with Jesus all things are possible. There might be a tattoo of all the things I did in my past that I am ashamed of, but God will not hold it against me. The tattoo might be there, but God doesn’t see it or even care about the scar.
I firmly believe that Satan is alive and well in America, roaming around seeking who he can kill and destroy and that we as the accepting, loving, anything goes, and lets-be-careful-not-to-offend-anyone people that we are, give him free reign. We allow him to destroy our lives and believe that things are OK when they are not. Depression is not OK, it’s a lie from the devil, and living together without the uniting in marriage is not OK. Satan is attacking our morals and destroying us. I don’t want to sound like a right wing liberal because I’m not. What I am is a Christian, I believe that if we do what the Bible says then we will be successful, we will be happy, and we will have the peace that we do desire in our lives. Joshua 1:8 says “Do not let this book of the Law depart from your mouth. Meditate on it day and night so that you will be careful to everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.” NIV
I don’t believe that God is going to drop a Navigator in my driveway or have me stumble on a sack of $100 bills as I’m walking the dog. But I do believe that He will allow me to make ends meet and have a peace in my heart everyday that defies explanation. Man days are few and full of turmoil according to the Bible and as long as we are on this earth is not going to be easy because of the attacks from Satan. He wants us to be mad at God and blame our problems on God and not on who the real culprit is; Satan himself. But Jesus didn’t die on the cross for us to live a difficult life. He died to give us life and so that we could have it more abundantly. John 10:10-11says "The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep."
Can you tell the revival got me all revved up? I am so on fire for God right now. I love Him, I praise Him, I worship Him! I want to take as many people to heaven with me as I can. I am ready to really work for God now!
I firmly believe that Satan is alive and well in America, roaming around seeking who he can kill and destroy and that we as the accepting, loving, anything goes, and lets-be-careful-not-to-offend-anyone people that we are, give him free reign. We allow him to destroy our lives and believe that things are OK when they are not. Depression is not OK, it’s a lie from the devil, and living together without the uniting in marriage is not OK. Satan is attacking our morals and destroying us. I don’t want to sound like a right wing liberal because I’m not. What I am is a Christian, I believe that if we do what the Bible says then we will be successful, we will be happy, and we will have the peace that we do desire in our lives. Joshua 1:8 says “Do not let this book of the Law depart from your mouth. Meditate on it day and night so that you will be careful to everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.” NIV
I don’t believe that God is going to drop a Navigator in my driveway or have me stumble on a sack of $100 bills as I’m walking the dog. But I do believe that He will allow me to make ends meet and have a peace in my heart everyday that defies explanation. Man days are few and full of turmoil according to the Bible and as long as we are on this earth is not going to be easy because of the attacks from Satan. He wants us to be mad at God and blame our problems on God and not on who the real culprit is; Satan himself. But Jesus didn’t die on the cross for us to live a difficult life. He died to give us life and so that we could have it more abundantly. John 10:10-11says "The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep."
Can you tell the revival got me all revved up? I am so on fire for God right now. I love Him, I praise Him, I worship Him! I want to take as many people to heaven with me as I can. I am ready to really work for God now!
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Beautiful Story
This was sent to me today in an email and I thought it was a beautiful story and I had to share!
************
Beth Moore Apr 20, 2005 Knoxville Airport -
Waiting to board the plane: I had the Bible on my lap and was very intent upon what I was doing. I'd had a marvelous morning with the Lord. I say that because I want to tell you it is a scary thing to have the Spirit of God really working in you. You could end up doing some things you never would have done otherwise.
Life in the Spirit can be dangerous for a thousand reasons not the least of which is your ego... I tried to keep from staring but he was such a strange sight. Humped over in a wheelchair, he was skin and bones, dressed in clothes that obviously fit when he was at least twenty pounds heavier. His knees protruded from his trousers, and his shoulders looked like the coat hanger was still in his shirt. His hands looked like tangled masses of veins and bones. The strangest part of him was his hair and nails. Stringy grey hair hung well over his shoulders and down part of his back. His fingernails were long. Clean, but strangely out of place on an old man.
I looked down at my Bible as fast as I could, discomfort burning my face. As I tried to imagine what his story might have been, I found myself wondering if I'd just had a Howard Hughes sighting. Then, I remembered reading somewhere that he was dead. So this man in the airport... an impersonator maybe? Was a camera on us somewhere?....
There I sat trying to concentrate on the Word to keep from being concerned about a thin slice of humanity served on a wheelchair only a few seats from me. All the while my heart was growing more and more overwhelmed with a feeling for him. Let's admit it. Curiosity is a heap more comfortable than true concern, and suddenly I was awash with aching emotion for this bizarre-looking old man.
I had walked with God long enough to see the handwriting on the wall. I've learned that when I begin to feel what God feels, something so contrary to my natural feelings, something dramatic is bound to happen. And it may be embarrassing. I immediately began to resist because I could feel God working on my spirit and I started arguing with God in my mind.
"Oh no, God please no." I looked up at the ceiling as if I could stare straight through it into heaven and said, "Don't make me witness to this man. Not right here and now. Please. I'll do anything. Put me on the same plane, but don't make me get up here and witness to this man in front of this gawking audience. Please, Lord!"...
There I sat in the blue vinyl chair begging His Highness, "Please don't make me witness to this man. Not now. I'll do it on the plane."
Then I heard it..."I don't want you to witness to him. I want you to brush his hair." The words were so clear, my heart leapt into my throat, and my thoughts spun like a top. Do I witness to the man or brush his hair? No brainer. I looked straight back up at the ceiling and said, "God, as I live and breathe, I want you to know I am ready to witness to this man. I'm on this Lord. I'm you're girl! You've never seen a woman witness to a man faster in your life. What difference does it make if his hair is a mess if he is not redeemed? I am on him. I am going to witness to this man."
Again as clearly as I've ever heard an audible word, God seemed to write this statement across the wall of my mind. "That is not what I said, Beth. I don't want you to witness to him. I want you to go brush his hair."
I looked up at God and quipped, "I don't have a hairbrush. It's in my suitcase on the plane. How am I suppose to brush his hair without a hairbrush?"...
God was so insistent that I almost involuntarily began to walk toward him as these thoughts came to me from God's word: "I will thoroughly furnish you unto all good works." (2 Tim 3:17) I stumbled over to the wheelchair thinking I could use one myself. Even as I retell this story my pulse quickens and I feel those same butterflies.
I knelt down in front of the man, and asked as demurely as possible, "Sir, may I have the pleasure of brushing your hair?" He looked back at me and said, "What did you say?" "May I have the pleasure of brushing your hair? To which he responded in volume ten, "Little lady, if you expect me to hear you, you're going to have to talk louder than that. At this point, I took a deep breath and blurted out, "SIR, MAY I HAVE THE PLEASURE OF BRUSHING YOUR HAIR?"
At which point every eye in the place darted right at me. I was the only thing in the room looking more peculiar than old Mr. Longlocks. Face crimson and forehead breaking out in a sweat, I watched him look up at me with absolute shock on his face, and say, "If you really want to."
Are you kidding? Of course I didn't want to. But God didn't seem interested in my personal preference right about then. He pressed on my heart until I could utter the words, "Yes, sir, I would be pleased. But I have one little problem. I don't have a hairbrush."
"I have one in my bag," he responded. I went around to the back of that wheelchair, and I got on my hands and knees and unzipped the stranger's old carry-on hardly believing what I was doing. I stood up and started brushing the old man's hair. It was perfectly clean, but it was tangled and matted. I don't do many things well, but I must admit I've had notable experience untangling knotted hair mothering two little girls.
Like I'd done with either Amanda or Melissa in such a condition, I began brushing at the very bottom of the strands, remembering to take my time not to pull.
A miraculous thing happened to me as I started brushing that old man's hair. Everybody else in the room disappeared. There was no one alive for those moments except that old man and me. I brushed and I brushed and I brushed until every tangle was out of that hair.
I know this sounds so strange but I've never felt that kind of love for another soul in my entire life. I believe with all my heart, I - for that few minutes - felt a portion of the very love of God. That He had overtaken my heart for a little while like someone renting a room and making Himself at home for a short while. The emotions were so strong and so pure that I knew they had to be God's.
His hair was finally as soft and smooth as an infant's. I slipped the brush back in the bag, went around the chair to face him. I got back down on my knees, put my hands on his knees, and said, "Sir, do you know my Jesus?"
He said, "Yes, I do." Well, that figures. He explained, "I've known Him since I married my bride. She wouldn't marry me until I got to know the Savior." He said, "You see, the problem is, I haven't seen my bride in months. I've had open-heart surgery, and she's been too ill to come see me. I was sitting here thinking to myself. What a mess I must be for my bride."
Only God knows how often He allows us to be part of a divine moment when we're completely unaware of the significance. This, on the other hand, was one of those rare encounters when I knew God had intervened in details only He could have known. It was a God moment, and I'll never forget it.
Our time came to board, and we were not on the same plane. I was deeply ashamed of how I'd acted earlier and would have been so proud to have accompanied him on that aircraft. I still had a few minutes, and as I gathered my things to board, the airline hostess returned from the corridor, tears streaming down her cheeks. She said, "That old man's sitting on the plane, sobbing. Why did you do that? What made you do that?"
I said, "Do you know Jesus? He can be the bossiest thing!" And we got to share. I learned something about God that day. He knows if you're exhausted because you're hungry, you're serving in the wrong place or it is time to move on but you feel too responsible to budge. He knows if you're hurting or feeling rejected. He knows if you're sick or drowning under a wave of temptation. Or He knows if you just need your hair brushed. He sees you as an individual. Tell Him your need!
I got on my own flight, sobs choking my throat, wondering how many opportunities just like that one had I missed along the way... all because I didn't want people to think I was strange. God didn't send me to that old man. He sent that old man to me.
John 1:14 "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth."
********
The part I bolded above about being in the wrong place really spoke to me. Maybe it is time to move on to a new church. I have been getting that feeling for a while and maybe that is why God is not giving me a good job....maybe he has someone he wants me to meet at another church that will lead me to the job He has for me. We shall see!
************
Beth Moore Apr 20, 2005 Knoxville Airport -
Waiting to board the plane: I had the Bible on my lap and was very intent upon what I was doing. I'd had a marvelous morning with the Lord. I say that because I want to tell you it is a scary thing to have the Spirit of God really working in you. You could end up doing some things you never would have done otherwise.
Life in the Spirit can be dangerous for a thousand reasons not the least of which is your ego... I tried to keep from staring but he was such a strange sight. Humped over in a wheelchair, he was skin and bones, dressed in clothes that obviously fit when he was at least twenty pounds heavier. His knees protruded from his trousers, and his shoulders looked like the coat hanger was still in his shirt. His hands looked like tangled masses of veins and bones. The strangest part of him was his hair and nails. Stringy grey hair hung well over his shoulders and down part of his back. His fingernails were long. Clean, but strangely out of place on an old man.
I looked down at my Bible as fast as I could, discomfort burning my face. As I tried to imagine what his story might have been, I found myself wondering if I'd just had a Howard Hughes sighting. Then, I remembered reading somewhere that he was dead. So this man in the airport... an impersonator maybe? Was a camera on us somewhere?....
There I sat trying to concentrate on the Word to keep from being concerned about a thin slice of humanity served on a wheelchair only a few seats from me. All the while my heart was growing more and more overwhelmed with a feeling for him. Let's admit it. Curiosity is a heap more comfortable than true concern, and suddenly I was awash with aching emotion for this bizarre-looking old man.
I had walked with God long enough to see the handwriting on the wall. I've learned that when I begin to feel what God feels, something so contrary to my natural feelings, something dramatic is bound to happen. And it may be embarrassing. I immediately began to resist because I could feel God working on my spirit and I started arguing with God in my mind.
"Oh no, God please no." I looked up at the ceiling as if I could stare straight through it into heaven and said, "Don't make me witness to this man. Not right here and now. Please. I'll do anything. Put me on the same plane, but don't make me get up here and witness to this man in front of this gawking audience. Please, Lord!"...
There I sat in the blue vinyl chair begging His Highness, "Please don't make me witness to this man. Not now. I'll do it on the plane."
Then I heard it..."I don't want you to witness to him. I want you to brush his hair." The words were so clear, my heart leapt into my throat, and my thoughts spun like a top. Do I witness to the man or brush his hair? No brainer. I looked straight back up at the ceiling and said, "God, as I live and breathe, I want you to know I am ready to witness to this man. I'm on this Lord. I'm you're girl! You've never seen a woman witness to a man faster in your life. What difference does it make if his hair is a mess if he is not redeemed? I am on him. I am going to witness to this man."
Again as clearly as I've ever heard an audible word, God seemed to write this statement across the wall of my mind. "That is not what I said, Beth. I don't want you to witness to him. I want you to go brush his hair."
I looked up at God and quipped, "I don't have a hairbrush. It's in my suitcase on the plane. How am I suppose to brush his hair without a hairbrush?"...
God was so insistent that I almost involuntarily began to walk toward him as these thoughts came to me from God's word: "I will thoroughly furnish you unto all good works." (2 Tim 3:17) I stumbled over to the wheelchair thinking I could use one myself. Even as I retell this story my pulse quickens and I feel those same butterflies.
I knelt down in front of the man, and asked as demurely as possible, "Sir, may I have the pleasure of brushing your hair?" He looked back at me and said, "What did you say?" "May I have the pleasure of brushing your hair? To which he responded in volume ten, "Little lady, if you expect me to hear you, you're going to have to talk louder than that. At this point, I took a deep breath and blurted out, "SIR, MAY I HAVE THE PLEASURE OF BRUSHING YOUR HAIR?"
At which point every eye in the place darted right at me. I was the only thing in the room looking more peculiar than old Mr. Longlocks. Face crimson and forehead breaking out in a sweat, I watched him look up at me with absolute shock on his face, and say, "If you really want to."
Are you kidding? Of course I didn't want to. But God didn't seem interested in my personal preference right about then. He pressed on my heart until I could utter the words, "Yes, sir, I would be pleased. But I have one little problem. I don't have a hairbrush."
"I have one in my bag," he responded. I went around to the back of that wheelchair, and I got on my hands and knees and unzipped the stranger's old carry-on hardly believing what I was doing. I stood up and started brushing the old man's hair. It was perfectly clean, but it was tangled and matted. I don't do many things well, but I must admit I've had notable experience untangling knotted hair mothering two little girls.
Like I'd done with either Amanda or Melissa in such a condition, I began brushing at the very bottom of the strands, remembering to take my time not to pull.
A miraculous thing happened to me as I started brushing that old man's hair. Everybody else in the room disappeared. There was no one alive for those moments except that old man and me. I brushed and I brushed and I brushed until every tangle was out of that hair.
I know this sounds so strange but I've never felt that kind of love for another soul in my entire life. I believe with all my heart, I - for that few minutes - felt a portion of the very love of God. That He had overtaken my heart for a little while like someone renting a room and making Himself at home for a short while. The emotions were so strong and so pure that I knew they had to be God's.
His hair was finally as soft and smooth as an infant's. I slipped the brush back in the bag, went around the chair to face him. I got back down on my knees, put my hands on his knees, and said, "Sir, do you know my Jesus?"
He said, "Yes, I do." Well, that figures. He explained, "I've known Him since I married my bride. She wouldn't marry me until I got to know the Savior." He said, "You see, the problem is, I haven't seen my bride in months. I've had open-heart surgery, and she's been too ill to come see me. I was sitting here thinking to myself. What a mess I must be for my bride."
Only God knows how often He allows us to be part of a divine moment when we're completely unaware of the significance. This, on the other hand, was one of those rare encounters when I knew God had intervened in details only He could have known. It was a God moment, and I'll never forget it.
Our time came to board, and we were not on the same plane. I was deeply ashamed of how I'd acted earlier and would have been so proud to have accompanied him on that aircraft. I still had a few minutes, and as I gathered my things to board, the airline hostess returned from the corridor, tears streaming down her cheeks. She said, "That old man's sitting on the plane, sobbing. Why did you do that? What made you do that?"
I said, "Do you know Jesus? He can be the bossiest thing!" And we got to share. I learned something about God that day. He knows if you're exhausted because you're hungry, you're serving in the wrong place or it is time to move on but you feel too responsible to budge. He knows if you're hurting or feeling rejected. He knows if you're sick or drowning under a wave of temptation. Or He knows if you just need your hair brushed. He sees you as an individual. Tell Him your need!
I got on my own flight, sobs choking my throat, wondering how many opportunities just like that one had I missed along the way... all because I didn't want people to think I was strange. God didn't send me to that old man. He sent that old man to me.
John 1:14 "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth."
********
The part I bolded above about being in the wrong place really spoke to me. Maybe it is time to move on to a new church. I have been getting that feeling for a while and maybe that is why God is not giving me a good job....maybe he has someone he wants me to meet at another church that will lead me to the job He has for me. We shall see!
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Sadie
Here is my new dog. Isn't she a beauty! She is big and loveable and very old. I hope if I wander on to someone's porch when I am old that they will love me too.
I'm glad you found me, Sadie!
Sunday, July 17, 2005
Blessings
I have been so busy with my career problems that I haven't had time to post about the great moments of the kids visit. Here they are in order:
1) There is no feeling to compare to having your first grandchild in your arms and she lays her precious little head on your shoulder and nuzzles in your neck!
2) Mary's sweet little butt taking a bath in the kitchen sink! I'll never wash dishes in the sink again unless of think of her sitting in it playing with a "Teen-age mutant Ninja Turtle" cup that was her Daddy's when he was a little guy!
3) Heather climbing up in my lap and looking up at me with her beautiful blue eyes and in the saddest voice saying "Grandma Lora, I wish we could live in both Texas and Indiana like we do with my Dad. We live in both Mommy and Daddy's houses." I said "I know, Honey, I wish you could too. I'm going to miss you." and she said "I'll miss you so much." and then she put her head on me and hugged me. Made me want to cry. We just sat and rocked and watched "That's so Raven" and didn't say anything else. It was a real moment of bonding.
4) Tammy and I "out shooting" our husband's with the BB gun! We both hit 3 out of 4 shots at the soda can when our "marksman" husbands hit only 1 of 4! Girls rule, boys drool!!!!
5) Getting to know Tammy even better! She is the best mother in the world! She is definitely a Proverbs 31 woman. My son is so blessed to have her for a wife, as a matter of fact she may be too good for him! ha-ha just kidding! I love her so much and am so proud of her. I couldn't have picked a better mother for my first grandchild than Tammy. I hope David can find a woman half as good as Tammy for his wife. I prayed for her the whole time Matt was growing up, not knowing who she was, but that God would prepare her heart for Matt and vice versa. God answered that prayer with Tammy!
6) Getting Robert and Javale together! I always wanted them to be able to play together! I don't know who is worse! They are both all boy and had a grand old time climbing on the hay, swimming in the kiddie pool, and riding the horses together.
7) Celebrating my 45th birthday with my 5 favorite grandkids surrounding me! Tammy baked a birthday cake for me and all the kids gathered around the table and sang "Happy Birthday" to me and ate cake and ice cream. Hubby David took a picture of me with all of them but Mary, who was asleep, I'll always have great memories of this birthday.
It was a great visit. I thoroughly enjoyed having them here. Family is really a blessing and grandchildren are the biggest blessing of all!
1) There is no feeling to compare to having your first grandchild in your arms and she lays her precious little head on your shoulder and nuzzles in your neck!
2) Mary's sweet little butt taking a bath in the kitchen sink! I'll never wash dishes in the sink again unless of think of her sitting in it playing with a "Teen-age mutant Ninja Turtle" cup that was her Daddy's when he was a little guy!
3) Heather climbing up in my lap and looking up at me with her beautiful blue eyes and in the saddest voice saying "Grandma Lora, I wish we could live in both Texas and Indiana like we do with my Dad. We live in both Mommy and Daddy's houses." I said "I know, Honey, I wish you could too. I'm going to miss you." and she said "I'll miss you so much." and then she put her head on me and hugged me. Made me want to cry. We just sat and rocked and watched "That's so Raven" and didn't say anything else. It was a real moment of bonding.
4) Tammy and I "out shooting" our husband's with the BB gun! We both hit 3 out of 4 shots at the soda can when our "marksman" husbands hit only 1 of 4! Girls rule, boys drool!!!!
5) Getting to know Tammy even better! She is the best mother in the world! She is definitely a Proverbs 31 woman. My son is so blessed to have her for a wife, as a matter of fact she may be too good for him! ha-ha just kidding! I love her so much and am so proud of her. I couldn't have picked a better mother for my first grandchild than Tammy. I hope David can find a woman half as good as Tammy for his wife. I prayed for her the whole time Matt was growing up, not knowing who she was, but that God would prepare her heart for Matt and vice versa. God answered that prayer with Tammy!
6) Getting Robert and Javale together! I always wanted them to be able to play together! I don't know who is worse! They are both all boy and had a grand old time climbing on the hay, swimming in the kiddie pool, and riding the horses together.
7) Celebrating my 45th birthday with my 5 favorite grandkids surrounding me! Tammy baked a birthday cake for me and all the kids gathered around the table and sang "Happy Birthday" to me and ate cake and ice cream. Hubby David took a picture of me with all of them but Mary, who was asleep, I'll always have great memories of this birthday.
It was a great visit. I thoroughly enjoyed having them here. Family is really a blessing and grandchildren are the biggest blessing of all!
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