I Have Issues!

Self-Esteem
–noun 1. a realistic respect for or favorable impression of oneself; self-respect.

This is what I need! A large dose of it too.

I had a date Saturday night with a really good looking man. He cancelled Friday. Via text message. He hasn't called since. (Keep in mind that I met him on the internet. He made the initial contact. We talked a few times. Lost touch. He called again last week and said he had some life issues come up but was still interested. We met for lunch Monday and then he called a few days later and asked me out for Saturday. HE pursued ME.....he asked me out for the 2nd date..... ???

Prior to the text message I was happy, happy, happy. Post text message I was sad, sad, sad! Saturday night as I was on my way home from work my good friend Roland called. He told me something he used to tell his soldiers. He said "I told them 'You can let them hurt you, torture you, kill you, but never, ever let them take your self-esteem.' Lora, you are letting these men take your self-esteem." I knew he was right and felt the tears well up in my eyes and stream down my face. He hit the nail on the head. So, now that I know what I have been doing I can change that behavior. Obviously, I have issues. Why would I let whether or not I have a man, a good looking man, determine my self-esteem? OK, lets look at the facts here:

I am:

- a Christian who loves the Lord and practices my faith
- a caring mother/sister/aunt/daughter/mom-in-law/grandma
- have a family who truly loves me
- have a lot of very good friends who truly care about me
- educated/intelligent/pursuing a graduate degree
- make very good money
- have "Executive" in my job title
- pay all my bills
- keep one heck of a clean house
- darn good cook
- very funny
- volunteer in my community
- well respected by my employees, my peers, and my superiors at my job
- brush and floss daily :)

Now...if I knew a woman that had all these characteristics I would think she had it going on. I really would. So, why would I think less of this woman because she is me? I have no answer because it makes no sense.

On New Year's Eve, Dr Evan's preached about how we are a masterpiece of God's creation, that there is no one else like us and that God created us just as we are for His purposes. When I think of it that way it takes on a whole new meaning. I heard the song "Fingerprints of God" by Steven Curtis Chapman the other day and it really goes along with what Roland told me. Here are the lyrics. So, think about it and don't let anyone take your self-esteem!

Fingerprints of God

I can see the tears filling your eyes
And I know where they're coming from
They're coming from a heart that's broken in two
By what you don't see
The person in the mirror
Doesn't look like a magazine
Oh but when I look at you
It's clear to me

That I can see the fingerprints of God
When I look at you
I can see the fingerprints of God
And I know it's true
You're a masterpiece that all creation
Quietly applauds
And you're covered with the fingerprints of God

Never has there been and never again
Will there be another you
Fashioned by God's hand and perfectly planned
To be just who you are
And what He's been creating
Since the first beat of your heart
Is a living, breathing
Priceless work of art

And I can see the fingerprints of God
When I look at you
I can see the fingerprints of God
And I know it's true
You're a masterpiece that all creation
Quietly applauds
And you're covered with the fingerprints of God

Just look at you
You're a wonder in the making
Oh, And God's not through
In fact, He's just getting started!