Name Change

I'm finally ready to take Daddy's name. It's been a long hard road but I know that he would be very proud of me. I've finally become the woman that he always knew I was inside. I just had to believe it for myself. Now I do. Now I'm ready to become a Mullen.

You know changing your name is a very a significant event. That's why it is typically only done when you marry. You identify yourself with a man, label yourself as being part of him, let go of your old identity. Make a statement to the world as to who you are. It's the same thing with changing my name now. I want to identify with Daddy. I know he wanted to give me his name when I was 10 but I didn't want it then. I was still too hung up on being a "Sanders" and claiming that pervert as my father that I wouldn't give Daddy a chance.

As the years have unfolded all the messages he instilled in me have been there. I may not have appeared to listen when he was lecturing me on #1) Get an education, or #39) Keep this dime between your knees [so you won't get pregnant and will always have a dime to call me to come pick you up if a boy tries to go too far], or #892) Don't have your stereo so loud, damn it! But really I was. My heart was storing it all. I slowly took the reins of my own life. I got the education, lost the dime, kept the stereo too loud, but mostly I listened. I still quote him. He had some great colloquialisms: "If you're looking for sympathy you'll find it in the dictionary between shit and syphilis." He was a Sargent remember!

He was with me when I graduated from college. I had one of his Military pins pinned hidden on my shirt so he could walk across the platform and accept my diploma with me. I wore his sweater to visit his grave so he could see that I finally lost the weight. He used to get so aggravated with Kim and I for stealing his clothes. Said the only thing we didn't take was his underwear! Hey, he had great taste! And now I'll take his name. I'll let the world know that the only man I feel is worthy to take his name is my Dad. He was an awesome man. Never once did he refer to me as his step-daughter. Never once. I miss him with all my heart.

So, Daddy, I know you are here and I know you know but I still want to say it, so here goes. I love you, I'm so very proud to be your daughter. I did listen and and I worked hard to get to where I am today; a college grad with a kick-ass job, a healthy weight, happy, intelligent, and confident. I know you are proud of me. I can feel it in my soul. Thank you for never giving up on me when most men would have walked away. I love you, Daddy. I miss you more than words can say. So, be paying attention because in a few weeks there will be one more Mullen under your wing.

Love you,
Lora Mullen

Holy Shit!

We're going to the Super Bowl Baby! Go Colts! I got a text from my daughter-in-law when the game ended and all it said was "Holy Shit!". I love that girl!

Thanks, Stace, for the pic. I robbed it from your blog!

P.S. My Sweetie is from Baltimore and not an Indy Colts fan...loyalty is such a hard thing! Sweetie/Colts/Sweetie/Colts......... what's a girl to do!

Music; Lover of my Soul

You know nothing speaks to my soul like music. I love it! I love to lay in the dark, turn the music so loud it fills the room, and then listen to the sound of each instrument and how they all work together to produce this amazing sound. My taste is very eclectic; Jazz, R&B, Country, Blues, Hip/Hop, Classical, etc. Don't care for Tejano, Folk, or Gansta Rap (to all the bitches and ho's, thank you God for giving me this talent...what's that all about?). Anyway, I have been on a download-o-rama with the Ipod. I LOVE that silly thing! It goes where I go! I downloaded one of the greatest dance songs ever (in my humble opinion) "She's a Bad Mama Jama" by Carl Carlton. Man, that song has got a great beat, at least my hips like it! I could dance to it for hours. Discovered the "Play Count" on Itunes and have played "Yeah" by Usher 116 times.....ummmm, do you think I like that song? My hips do, they move when it comes on!

Not jinxing my new thing here but heard "Bless the Broken Road" by Rascall Flatts on the radio the other day and it definitely made me think.....

I set out on a narrow way, many years ago
Hoping I would find true love, along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign, pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way, into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That lead me straight to you

I think about the years I spent, just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost, and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan, that is coming true

Every long lost dream, lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way, into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That lead me straight to you

Now I'm just rolling home
Into my lovers arms
This much I know, is true
That God blessed the broken road
That lead me straight to you
That God blessed the broken road
That lead me straight to you

It is an amazing song and so fitting for someone who's been through a divorce and then found the right one. It is exactly how I feel about my marriages, they were just learnings that helped point me in the right direction. My friend David commented on how confident I am, and the amazing caliber of man I have attracted as of late and what impressive resumes they have. Which is all well and good but what REALLY matters is how THE RIGHT ONE feels about me in his heart and vice versa. I am very excited about this coming weekend....which I refuse to comment any further on at this point. I am not overly superstious but not going to jinx anything by opening my big mouth too soon.

The point of the post is that music speaks to us on so many levels. It's great when you want to have fun and dance. It speaks to your heart when you're falling in love. And it helps you understand the broken road that the majority of us have traveled down a "time or two".

I know I keep saying it but.........LIFE IS SWEET!

New Beginnings

Life is funny sometimes. We see something we want, think it would be great for us, make our lives more rounded, would fit into our puzzle just right! We think we know what is best for us. Then God, in His infinite wisdom, has other plans. He gives us things to distract us while He gets the things He has for us in order. I thought the Detective, Everett, was it. I thought he was the one with potential. Now I think he was a distraction until someone MUCH better came along. Someone that fits my puzzle just perfectly. Someone to make me smile. Someone who has all things that make up my dream man and what I have wished and waited my whole life for. We shall see!

The possibilities are endless!

LIFE IS SWEET!

Can I Touch Your Nipple?

My roomie had a friend suggest a black internet dating site to me, so I signed up! Man do I have stories!

The first guy I met used to play for the KC Chiefs, he was a wide receiver #86, handsome. He writes now and is a personal trainer. Tall, very nice build. A little quirky but in a very good way! I like him! We are in touch but haven't had a second date. I met him on New Year's Eve, he wanted to bring in the New Year together but I had plans with my roomies so didn't cancel on them as who knows if anything would work out with this guy or not. We are forming a writing group so if nothing else he has reignited my interest in writing and I plan to complete my novel this year!

I was getting about 10-15 "flirt" messages a day. Some from Nigeria, South Carolina, etc. So, I changed my profile to say you have to be local or in Indy, with the exception being Military men as I will go to them if I like them enough. That slowed the traffic down somewhat. I was getting messages from young men, 21, 26, 32! What the heck am I supposed to do with a 21 year-old other than teach him a few things? Not my job. I need a man who knows what he is doing already! Then I get a message from a man that simply says "I wiill(sic) tear that ass up." Excuse me! Keep in mind I have quite a detailed profile as to what I am looking for, sex is not part of that profile. I also have 5 pictures of me so my size is not a shock to anyone, not that I am all that big anymore, keep in mind I am 5'11" so am already a big woman and I currently am in a size 22. Thick describes me well.

OK, I get a message from a man Saturday afternoon. He is a PhD, graduated from Oxford and Vanderbuilt Universities. He is a college professor, VERY educated, sent me a pic, not bad lookingin the pic, in real life he wasn't all that great at all, 5'10" tall, 44 years-old, divorced, 2 kids, lives in Waco. We decide to meet for dinner that night after talking on the phone. I get to the restaurant at the designated time. He gets there 30 minutes later! Strike 1! We eat, he has severe allergies and can't eat with his mouth closed as he can't breath through his nose. You know me! Strike 2! We leave as the restaurant closed and he doesn't even bother to hold the door for me. Strike 2 1/2! He asks if we can sit in my car to talk. I agree. We are talking and talking and things are going well. Then he makes a negative comment about homosexuals and I tell him my roommate is a Lesbian. He says she will try to turn me. Idiot! Then comes Strike #3!!! It was a big one. He reaches over to caress my cheek (on my face) and then out of left field says "Can I touch your nipple?" Now where in his though process did he think this would be an alright thing to ask me? Hello, moron! I should have said "Sure, if I can touch your postate with a cattle prod!" I was horrified. I said "NO, you can't and this date is over. Get out of my car." Just goes to show you that education does not make you smart!

I immediately chaged my profile by adding a note. Here it is: "OK, one more final note: I am not into casual sex which appears to be the goal of a lot of men on here. My body is a special gift and unless you are worthy I will not offer it to you. If you are looking for a quick lay then keep looking because you won't get it here. I am not a prude and am a very sexual woman but refuse to sleep with just anyone for the sake of having sex." Messages to me have SLOWED WAY DOWN!!!!!!!

I told my roomie about it and she said "And people think homesexual's are the sexual perverts. We have nothing on you straight people!"

I have met a very nice man on the site but don't want to jinx it so won't give any details. I think there might be some potential but it's too soon to make a call!

Stay tuned for more exciting news.................

Virgin Angelina

http://news.yahoo.com/photo/070105/480/wxs10301051909

Kate Kretz, a North Carolina artist, painted this picture of Angelia Jolie as the Virgin Mary. She titled it 'Blessed Art Thou'. In my humble opinion Kate has experienced a random act of genius! Brilliant woman, simply brilliant!

I love the fact Angelina is hoverinng over a Wal-Mart checkout. There is even a fat lady in line at Wal-Mart! Very realistic! Have you been to Wal-Mart lately, all the fat people shop there! I believe Kretz has summed up the assinine, white-trash mentality we have reduced ourselves too. I do believe Angelina is doing great things for the impoverished children of the world because she should. She has the financial resources to do so. She put her life where her mouth is and adopted children who otherwise wouldn't have had a life even remotely as blessed as they will as her children. But we as American's have raised her up to "Madonna" and I don't mean the cone-bra'd one, and she is not. She is doing what she should be, what we all should be, doing! Helping the poor and needy.

I love this painting!