Only 4 days until I fly to San Francisco to meet Darrell. I am scared out of my mind! Not scared of him hurting me physically, but rather emotionally. It's like the first date that you've waited your whole life for. Not only have I bought new clothes, but I had the highlights and new cut done on my do today! I'm going for the pedicure tomorrow or Monday. I'll board that plane Wednesday morning at 9:30 a.m. and in a few hours I'll land in San Francisco and be in the arms of the man I've been talking to, dreaming about, and planning a tentative future with. Will I like him as much as I think I will? Will he like me? Will there be chemistry between us? Will we be as compatible in person as we are on the phone? Will he pick his teeth, or worse...his nose in public? Will he have bad breath? Will he fall madly in love with me, treat me with respect and kindness all the days of my life?
Or will it be a nice trip, to meet a nice man, and I'll have a nice flight home, and go on living my life?
So much is at stake. I can't relax but I want to so very desperately. Really I do! I've been in tears for 2 days now. I'm just a nervous wreck. I want to cancel the trip. He bought the ticket, so obviously he cares for me. No man has ever done that for me. It's been 50/50 with every man I've ever met. But I'm not the person I was. I have confidence and refuse to be treated as anything but a woman who is to be cherished and treated as such! I have no problem saying "Next". As a matter of fact I got asked out tonight by 3 different men. I turned them all down because I want to focus on Darrell and see what happens. They were all local men but I would rather fly to San Francisco to see what will happen with this guy. He seems different, he seems real, he seems like the total package. I'll know in 4 more days.
Life is sweet.
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