I feel so ugly in these pictures!
I am so sad. Since May 2007 I have gained 57.5 pounds back. I hurt. I can't sleep well. I limped around all day at work because my knee is swollen. I have an ice pack on it right now as I type this. I am so profoundly disappointed in myself. Why did I let this happen? I worked so hard to lose the weight and was looking so good. Now look at me. I am a loser and not in a good way. I feel like such a big fat loser.
Losing weight is a mental thing. The times in my life that I have been successful at it are when I got into a mental groove with it. Then I go on vacation or something changes and I lose it. It seems it is a fragile thing for me, it breaks and I lose it so easily. I want to keep it permanently this time.
Starting right now...this minute...I am going to lose those 57.5 pounds and just a few more to get back to my goal weight. I am posting pictures I took tonight plus one from last summer so you can see the difference and why I am so disappointed in myself. With God as my witness this will be the last time I am in a size 24 jean as long as I live. I will not allow myself to ever be over a size 18/20 again.
Today it ends. No more excuses.
Today it ends. No more pain.
Today it ends. No more shame.
Today it begins. Healthy food & lots of water!
Today it begins. Daily exercise!
Today it begins. No more shame!
I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthes me. Phil 4:13
