So many of these people I work with are totally GHETTO!!! They stand up and start singing really loud or yell across the room to each other. Do you know how hard it is to deal with an upset customer when an American Idol wannabe is belting out an off-key tune behind you!
9 more weeks to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, March 25, 2005
Children and Forgiveness
Those of you know know me I am sure will remember a few years ago that David and I were raising one of his grandchildren, Isaiah, and his mother took him while we were at work. It was on Nov 6, 2001. I'll never forget that day. Anyway, Isaiah is 10 now and has been in and out of psychiatric hospitals and on all kinds of medicines. His mother is not well physically or mentally and is convincing this innocent child he is nuts too. I think David and I might be taking him back, but on a permanent basis this time as we will adopt him. Please, please pray for God's will and wisdom in this situation. I feel in my heart that his child needs us, he doesn't stand a chance without us to guide and direct his life. It will be the hardest thing we have ever done as I know it will take a long time to get him turned around and on the path he needs to be on. His life has been turmoil for 10 years and a complete break from his psycho mother is what he needs. She tells him things like "I feel like putting you in the car with me and driving off a cliff" all the time. She said that to him in front of David and I last Thanksgiving. I wanted to slap her. Why would you threaten to kill yourself and your child in front of him???? What possess a mother to say such a thing to a child???
I feel in my heart of heart's that we are supposed to raise him. I've felt that since she took him and even when she asked us to take him back but was too hurt to even consider it because I was afraid that she would take him again. Now he is the one suffering because I wanted to protect myself from any further heartache. Maybe it was for the best because she says she sees now that she should have left him with us. He says he misses spending time with David and riding the horses. He sees me as the enemy because his mother and I got into it pretty heavy after she took him. It will be a challenge but with God's hand on it I know it will work. I just don't want to do it unless I feel a clear direction from God. Please pray for Isaiah! Please pray for his mother! Please pray for David and I to do God's will and to do right by this child if he is given to us to raise!
His mother, Cynthia, was taken off the kidney transplant list. Her heart is bad now, too bad they say for the transplant. She told her Dad that she wants to know that Isaiah is OK before she leaves this world. Maggie and Ashley are doing well. As a mother I can understand that. If we couldn't do anything for her in life maybe we can in death by taking her son.
It has been my hearts desire to have more children and since I didn't get too I embraced raising Isaiah and when she took him it crushed me. It took me many years to find forgiveness in my heart but God was able to help me find it. God's grace is an amazing thing.
I know it will be hard on Isaiah, hard on David, and hard on me... but with God all things are possible.
I feel in my heart of heart's that we are supposed to raise him. I've felt that since she took him and even when she asked us to take him back but was too hurt to even consider it because I was afraid that she would take him again. Now he is the one suffering because I wanted to protect myself from any further heartache. Maybe it was for the best because she says she sees now that she should have left him with us. He says he misses spending time with David and riding the horses. He sees me as the enemy because his mother and I got into it pretty heavy after she took him. It will be a challenge but with God's hand on it I know it will work. I just don't want to do it unless I feel a clear direction from God. Please pray for Isaiah! Please pray for his mother! Please pray for David and I to do God's will and to do right by this child if he is given to us to raise!
His mother, Cynthia, was taken off the kidney transplant list. Her heart is bad now, too bad they say for the transplant. She told her Dad that she wants to know that Isaiah is OK before she leaves this world. Maggie and Ashley are doing well. As a mother I can understand that. If we couldn't do anything for her in life maybe we can in death by taking her son.
It has been my hearts desire to have more children and since I didn't get too I embraced raising Isaiah and when she took him it crushed me. It took me many years to find forgiveness in my heart but God was able to help me find it. God's grace is an amazing thing.
I know it will be hard on Isaiah, hard on David, and hard on me... but with God all things are possible.
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Job Dissatisfaction
When you hate your job it colors your whole world. There are days when I just want to cry sitting here. I know God has me here for a reason and I believe that reason is so I can pay my bills until I start teaching AND so I won't ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever (you get the picture) be tempted to work in corporate America again.
Yesterday this woman approached me at work and said "Hi, I'm ____ and we haven't met yet. I'm just coming to you co-worker to co-worker before management finds out what you did."
I said" Really. What did I do?"
She says "There are 3 of us who have had to talk to a customer that YOU told could have the price of $13.99 a month . There is another one where you put in the case notes that you set up a second account for a customer and they can't have two accounts. "
"Really? I did that. Are you sure it was me? Because I know that is not the price and I know you can't have 2 accounts at all."
"Yes, I'm sure."
"What are their email address? "
"I don't know but the one is for a guy named Hubert."
"OK, thanks for the warning."
I was fuming! Don't come to me with BS unless you can give me details! I keep a lot of notes and was able to find both accounts. I didn't talk to the lady with 2 accounts at all (this "co-worker" had noted the lady's name on a group spread sheet because the customer wanted a sup to call her and my name was no where on the account. And Hubert I did talk to but never mentioned a $13.99 plan to him and my notes on the account reflect this.
My question is why would she target me? Am I a threat to her? My numbers do look really good. I am still new and I'm doing well. I am quiet and don't mingle with my co-workers because my attempts at friendliness have gone unrequited! Also, I have short-timers disease! She is friends with the young woman who insulted me on my first day. They made us sit with people to learn how to work the phones and a customer made a comment about "I'm a college graduate and sometimes I don't get simple things". When she hung up the woman looked at me and said "College graduates DON'T get simple things." A few minutes later she asked me where I worked before coming to this company and I said "I was a full-time student and just graduated with my Bachelor's Degree." The look on her face was priceless! Maybe they don't like me because I'm smarter than they are! ;)
Then today in the break room I mentioned a call I had gotten to the man who hired me and he jumped all up in my Kool-Aid and told me I could be fired for mentioning a customer's account. It's not like I am out on the street, I am at work. I swear! If you can't discuss customers at work then where can you? I didn't even give details of the account just mentioned something that happened.
I hate this job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have James 1:2-8 posted on my desk:
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perserverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all with out finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave by the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does."
Yesterday this woman approached me at work and said "Hi, I'm ____ and we haven't met yet. I'm just coming to you co-worker to co-worker before management finds out what you did."
I said" Really. What did I do?"
She says "There are 3 of us who have had to talk to a customer that YOU told could have the price of $13.99 a month . There is another one where you put in the case notes that you set up a second account for a customer and they can't have two accounts. "
"Really? I did that. Are you sure it was me? Because I know that is not the price and I know you can't have 2 accounts at all."
"Yes, I'm sure."
"What are their email address? "
"I don't know but the one is for a guy named Hubert."
"OK, thanks for the warning."
I was fuming! Don't come to me with BS unless you can give me details! I keep a lot of notes and was able to find both accounts. I didn't talk to the lady with 2 accounts at all (this "co-worker" had noted the lady's name on a group spread sheet because the customer wanted a sup to call her and my name was no where on the account. And Hubert I did talk to but never mentioned a $13.99 plan to him and my notes on the account reflect this.
My question is why would she target me? Am I a threat to her? My numbers do look really good. I am still new and I'm doing well. I am quiet and don't mingle with my co-workers because my attempts at friendliness have gone unrequited! Also, I have short-timers disease! She is friends with the young woman who insulted me on my first day. They made us sit with people to learn how to work the phones and a customer made a comment about "I'm a college graduate and sometimes I don't get simple things". When she hung up the woman looked at me and said "College graduates DON'T get simple things." A few minutes later she asked me where I worked before coming to this company and I said "I was a full-time student and just graduated with my Bachelor's Degree." The look on her face was priceless! Maybe they don't like me because I'm smarter than they are! ;)
Then today in the break room I mentioned a call I had gotten to the man who hired me and he jumped all up in my Kool-Aid and told me I could be fired for mentioning a customer's account. It's not like I am out on the street, I am at work. I swear! If you can't discuss customers at work then where can you? I didn't even give details of the account just mentioned something that happened.
I hate this job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have James 1:2-8 posted on my desk:
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perserverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all with out finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave by the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does."
It's hard but I'll hang in there and count my blessings. I'm learning a lot about what I don't want to do and that's work here! I try not to let this place get to me but it's hard to not let that happen. I feel like I'm in a cage and am shackled!
Friday, March 11, 2005
Mean, Rude People Solution
I was reading in the book of Mark this morning about how Jesus was mocked and beaten prior to His crucifixion. It saddens me to think about how mean and rude those people were to him and He was innocent of everything and yet He loved them anyway! It dawned on me that this is the attitude I need to have in order to not let those kind of people get to me any longer!
Problem solved! When people are mean and/or rude to me I will say a prayer for God to bless them. They can be rude to me all they want and it won't bother me ever again!! I will actually feel sorry for them because I know they don't get "it"! Not that I'm even close to being like Christ, but if He can forgive and love people and even die for those people than I can not get PO'd over someone being rude to me!
God is awesome!
Problem solved! When people are mean and/or rude to me I will say a prayer for God to bless them. They can be rude to me all they want and it won't bother me ever again!! I will actually feel sorry for them because I know they don't get "it"! Not that I'm even close to being like Christ, but if He can forgive and love people and even die for those people than I can not get PO'd over someone being rude to me!
God is awesome!
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Mean, Rude People
Rude people are the bane of my existence. For some it's butt heat (Miss Jerra), but for me it's rude people! I have too many instances when people have been rude for no apparent reason. But rather than jam up my blog I'll just go back to yesterday morning {~~~~~~} (this is the squiggly lines like on TV when someone remembers something!!)
I had to go to DISD AC program to get my "bar code" to take the TeXes test so I can be a Certified Teacher.....hmmm, just realized that people have told me in the past that I am "certifiable"??? Anyway, there is an old fart in his rent-a-cop uniform directing traffic. His mole is the same size as his head and he approaches my car. I roll down the window and he says:
"Are you here for training?"
"No, I just need to run in and get a bar code."
"So, you're here for training."
Slowly this time, "Nooooo, I just need a bar code from the Alternative Certification program."
In a rather annoyed vocie he says "You have to park over there." and he points to a grassy field about a block away. Apparently, I had pissed him off because I wasn't there for training, or maybe he just has something against people who need bar codes? Or maybe he thinks a bar code is something for people who drink and he is opposed to alcohol??? Who knows!
Officer Mole is directing traffic and some idiot is tying to park in the only spot that we can enter the grassy knoll through. He slowly walks over to her and makes her move. I finally park and go inside to get my bar code.
There is a young man sitting at the desk. I belive his basic job duty is to ignore people. I ask him if I need to sign in to get a bar code. He says yes and hands me a paper. No spoken words came out of his mouth outside the original "yes". Then I ask him:
"Do you know what the schedule is for the TeXes study sessions? It wasn't attached to the email I got. "
"Yes, it's attached to the email. She always attaches it."
"No, see right here she says she attached it but she didn't."
At this point a nicely dressed, very attractive black lady tells me that she has a copy of the schedule and will be glad to give it to me.
Mr. Lazy Dude goes back to his job--ignoring me. I thank her and go back to standing there waiting for my bar code. A few minutes tick by and he looks up at me and says in a really annoyed voice:
"Did you fill the form out?"
"This form?" and I hold it up
"Yes" {you idiot} he didn't say that but I KNOW he thought it
"You didn't tell me to fill it out. All you did was hand it to me."
No response from Mr. LD.
I fill it out and give it back to him. He sticks a bar code sticker on it. He gets up and walks like he has shackles on his legs, either that or he is weight training and has those strap on weights on his ankles but it's hard to tell under those baggy slacks. He walks through a door and comes back about 60 seconds later and hands a copy of the form with the sticker to me. Never spoke another word. Lazy AND friendly!
I then had to pour salt in his ever apparent wounds. In my best Mary Tyler Moore voice I say:
"Thank you sooo much. I appreciate your help. You have a wonderful day!"
Rude, rude, rude! Why, why why? Did I "bother" these two men? Does their life suck so bad that they despise every waking moment? Maybe they just hate their jobs? Maybe I have a target on my head that only rude people can see? I don't know but it bugs me. It really, really bugs me!
My husband says that I think everyone is supposed to be nice to me because I am nice to them. Yes, I do! What's wrong with that? Maybe my expectations are too high? I guess I'll have to get used to it but I'll never like it or accept it!
I think I should start a "Kindness" movement in America. Couldn't hurt. Wonder if Office Mole and Mr LD will be my first recruits? I know where they work!
I had to go to DISD AC program to get my "bar code" to take the TeXes test so I can be a Certified Teacher.....hmmm, just realized that people have told me in the past that I am "certifiable"??? Anyway, there is an old fart in his rent-a-cop uniform directing traffic. His mole is the same size as his head and he approaches my car. I roll down the window and he says:
"Are you here for training?"
"No, I just need to run in and get a bar code."
"So, you're here for training."
Slowly this time, "Nooooo, I just need a bar code from the Alternative Certification program."
In a rather annoyed vocie he says "You have to park over there." and he points to a grassy field about a block away. Apparently, I had pissed him off because I wasn't there for training, or maybe he just has something against people who need bar codes? Or maybe he thinks a bar code is something for people who drink and he is opposed to alcohol??? Who knows!
Officer Mole is directing traffic and some idiot is tying to park in the only spot that we can enter the grassy knoll through. He slowly walks over to her and makes her move. I finally park and go inside to get my bar code.
There is a young man sitting at the desk. I belive his basic job duty is to ignore people. I ask him if I need to sign in to get a bar code. He says yes and hands me a paper. No spoken words came out of his mouth outside the original "yes". Then I ask him:
"Do you know what the schedule is for the TeXes study sessions? It wasn't attached to the email I got. "
"Yes, it's attached to the email. She always attaches it."
"No, see right here she says she attached it but she didn't."
At this point a nicely dressed, very attractive black lady tells me that she has a copy of the schedule and will be glad to give it to me.
Mr. Lazy Dude goes back to his job--ignoring me. I thank her and go back to standing there waiting for my bar code. A few minutes tick by and he looks up at me and says in a really annoyed voice:
"Did you fill the form out?"
"This form?" and I hold it up
"Yes" {you idiot} he didn't say that but I KNOW he thought it
"You didn't tell me to fill it out. All you did was hand it to me."
No response from Mr. LD.
I fill it out and give it back to him. He sticks a bar code sticker on it. He gets up and walks like he has shackles on his legs, either that or he is weight training and has those strap on weights on his ankles but it's hard to tell under those baggy slacks. He walks through a door and comes back about 60 seconds later and hands a copy of the form with the sticker to me. Never spoke another word. Lazy AND friendly!
I then had to pour salt in his ever apparent wounds. In my best Mary Tyler Moore voice I say:
"Thank you sooo much. I appreciate your help. You have a wonderful day!"
Rude, rude, rude! Why, why why? Did I "bother" these two men? Does their life suck so bad that they despise every waking moment? Maybe they just hate their jobs? Maybe I have a target on my head that only rude people can see? I don't know but it bugs me. It really, really bugs me!
My husband says that I think everyone is supposed to be nice to me because I am nice to them. Yes, I do! What's wrong with that? Maybe my expectations are too high? I guess I'll have to get used to it but I'll never like it or accept it!
I think I should start a "Kindness" movement in America. Couldn't hurt. Wonder if Office Mole and Mr LD will be my first recruits? I know where they work!
Thursday, March 03, 2005
My Testimony
Though life has been hard I know that I have a place of permanence in the middle of life's uncertainties and I have the assurance of God's provision which are based on two very clear principles: trusting in the LORD and doing good to others. This is not an original thought, it was in today's verse that I send out and it really impacted me.
I have learned more about my faith and how the Lord works in the last few months than I have the rest of my life combined. I thought that because I am His child that He would do what I wanted Him to do only because I trusted in Him. I have heard the message of prosperity over and over but I had it all wrong. Just because we are His doesn't mean we will be prosperous in ways that are typically associated with prosperity. In order to make us prosperous in spirit we have to go through the testing of our faith to really understand what it means. I might not be prosperous financially right now but I am spiritually, relationally, physically, and emotionally. The road will not always be easy. He teaches us things and then tests us to see what we have learned. Just a as a teacher is quite when his students are taking the test, so is God. It may feel He is not there but He is, quietly watching from the sidelines to see what we will do.
I thank Him so much for what He has done in my life. I have a much deeper faith and understanding of Him now than ever before. When I began praying for His direction as to what career He wanted me to pursue back in the Spring of 2004 I was open to what ever He wanted for me. I thought that would be a corporate job making $60,000 + a year. I have the experience and the degree so why not? I never thought He would tell me to be an underpaid, overworked teacher! But He did and I just can't explain how happy I am about that. Prosperity is about a whole lot more than money. It's taken me almost 45 years to figure that out, but I'm glad that's all it took. Some folks never figure it out.
Not too long ago I read these verses and they forever changed my life:
17 Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD ,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
19 The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights. - Habakkuk 3: 17-19
There are no grapes on my vine right now, there is no "cattle" in my stall as I had to sell my horse for the money. But I do rejoice because He has made my feet sure and steady and I know where I am going. The problems of this life do not matter, what happenes to me does not matter. What matters is my eternal life!!
I have learned more about my faith and how the Lord works in the last few months than I have the rest of my life combined. I thought that because I am His child that He would do what I wanted Him to do only because I trusted in Him. I have heard the message of prosperity over and over but I had it all wrong. Just because we are His doesn't mean we will be prosperous in ways that are typically associated with prosperity. In order to make us prosperous in spirit we have to go through the testing of our faith to really understand what it means. I might not be prosperous financially right now but I am spiritually, relationally, physically, and emotionally. The road will not always be easy. He teaches us things and then tests us to see what we have learned. Just a as a teacher is quite when his students are taking the test, so is God. It may feel He is not there but He is, quietly watching from the sidelines to see what we will do.
I thank Him so much for what He has done in my life. I have a much deeper faith and understanding of Him now than ever before. When I began praying for His direction as to what career He wanted me to pursue back in the Spring of 2004 I was open to what ever He wanted for me. I thought that would be a corporate job making $60,000 + a year. I have the experience and the degree so why not? I never thought He would tell me to be an underpaid, overworked teacher! But He did and I just can't explain how happy I am about that. Prosperity is about a whole lot more than money. It's taken me almost 45 years to figure that out, but I'm glad that's all it took. Some folks never figure it out.
Not too long ago I read these verses and they forever changed my life:
17 Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD ,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
19 The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights. - Habakkuk 3: 17-19
There are no grapes on my vine right now, there is no "cattle" in my stall as I had to sell my horse for the money. But I do rejoice because He has made my feet sure and steady and I know where I am going. The problems of this life do not matter, what happenes to me does not matter. What matters is my eternal life!!
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
God's Hand
I have already said that I know that it is God's plan for my life to be a Teacher. He gave me more confirmation yesterday morning.
I have to pay for some college classes that I'll be taking this summer as a part of the Alternative Certification (hereafter known as AC) program. I don't have the $1000+ that I need. Yesterday morning I prayed "Father, I know it was your plan for me to be a Teacher. You know that I don't have the money for these classes but I know that you do. Please take care of it for me. I'm trusting in you."
I talked to my Mom later that morning but never mentioned my prayer. She asked me if I would have to pay for the program right now and I told her I would only have to pay for some classes but the cost of the program would come out of my check over the course of the year. She said "It's taken care of!" I said "What?" and she said "The college courses are taken care of. I'll pay for it out of Granny's inheritance money for you." PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!
So this is further confirmation that I am doing what God has planned for me. I have always loved kids and have a special understanding with them. I have a sense of fairness and am always willing to listen to what they have to say. Kindergarten and 1st grade were very traumatic for me so I'll be able to relate to any child who has a hard time separating from a parent all day to go to school. I believe kids are just little people and have feelings just like grown up's do. I consider this a high calling, especially since it is God's design for my life. I know teachers aren't paid well and it's not a "desirable" job to many people, but I can hardly wait!! It's like my whole life God has been telling me this but I didn't connect the dots. At least a dozen times over the course of my life children have randomly asked me if I am a teacher. I'd be standing in line at Wal-Mart and a little kid would ask "Are you a teacher?" and I'd say "No" and then scratch my head wondering if I looked smart or mean! ha-ha Now I know it was God sending me clues!
I am counting the days till I am out of this temp job and on to DISD and a classroom 5 days a week !!! Woo Hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have to pay for some college classes that I'll be taking this summer as a part of the Alternative Certification (hereafter known as AC) program. I don't have the $1000+ that I need. Yesterday morning I prayed "Father, I know it was your plan for me to be a Teacher. You know that I don't have the money for these classes but I know that you do. Please take care of it for me. I'm trusting in you."
I talked to my Mom later that morning but never mentioned my prayer. She asked me if I would have to pay for the program right now and I told her I would only have to pay for some classes but the cost of the program would come out of my check over the course of the year. She said "It's taken care of!" I said "What?" and she said "The college courses are taken care of. I'll pay for it out of Granny's inheritance money for you." PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!
So this is further confirmation that I am doing what God has planned for me. I have always loved kids and have a special understanding with them. I have a sense of fairness and am always willing to listen to what they have to say. Kindergarten and 1st grade were very traumatic for me so I'll be able to relate to any child who has a hard time separating from a parent all day to go to school. I believe kids are just little people and have feelings just like grown up's do. I consider this a high calling, especially since it is God's design for my life. I know teachers aren't paid well and it's not a "desirable" job to many people, but I can hardly wait!! It's like my whole life God has been telling me this but I didn't connect the dots. At least a dozen times over the course of my life children have randomly asked me if I am a teacher. I'd be standing in line at Wal-Mart and a little kid would ask "Are you a teacher?" and I'd say "No" and then scratch my head wondering if I looked smart or mean! ha-ha Now I know it was God sending me clues!
I am counting the days till I am out of this temp job and on to DISD and a classroom 5 days a week !!! Woo Hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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