Love

There is no feeling in the world like new love. Your feet don't touch the ground, the birds sing prettier, the sun shines brighter, you smile at strangers, your thoughts are consumed by the other person. You live and breathe to hear their voice, to feel their arms around you, just to see them makes your whole day better. When we are young we think that new love is what it will always feel like. Then we grow up. We get hurt. We let our walls build up. We get divorced. We add reinforcements to those walls. We get bitter. We guard our hearts. We don't love like we did pre hurt.

I don't know about you but I want to be able to love like that again. I think I'm pretty close to it this time because I know Kirk is not even close to the category that both of my ex's fall in. I am tying with all my might to look at him as Kirk; an incredible man. He truly is like no man I've ever loved before. I know you may think "yeah, yeah, sure, whatever, Lora!" But remember all the growth and change and pain I've been through. It wasn't all for naught! I truly have learned. I have my eyes wide open and feel I am a good judge of character....now!

I knew the day I married my ex that he was not the one for me. But not a lot of men were lining up to marry a 4oo pound woman so I did it. Sue me! He knew I was too good for him, those were his words not mine. I'll never doubt that he loved me as much as he could. He just didn't know how to deal with a woman like me; dreams, goals, intelligence, and a perseverance to obtain everything out of life that I can. He was happy sitting under a tree, drinking, barbecuing on a homemade grill while watching friends play cards. I want more out of life. I wanted symphonies, theater, travel, good wine, all night long conversation. Passion!

A good friend summed it up for me. He said to not feel bad about 2 failed marriages. He said they are the pre-games that got me ready for the SuperBowl! Kirk is my SuperBowl. I don't feel bad about them as I learned everything I could about love and life from them. They helped make me who I am today. I watched "Little Miss Sunshine" yesterday and there is a scene when the brother played by Steve Carrell is talking to the son played by Paul Dano and the son says he wants to sleep until high school is over because it sucks. The brother tells him that the best things come from suffering. I couldn't agree more. I am the best I can be today because of the suffering I endured in my life up to this point. I wouldn't change a thing! Even having to move in here with Kim has gotten me ready for Kirk. (NOTE: This has not been suffering. I've had more fun in the last 6 months than the rest of my life combined!!) Kim taught me about sushi and Central Market and good food and high class people (ref: "Doctors and Lawyers and Judges Oh My" post). Kirk took me for sushi in Houston a few weeks ago and as we were eating he said "I can't believe it. You like sushi and you know how to drive [aggressively]. You're the woman of my dreams." If not for Kim I would know nothing about sushi! Thanks, Girlfriend!

So, I'm trying to love like I have nothing to lose. It's hard but I want it more than I want to guard my heart. I want to experience all the joys of new love and if I keep those walls up it will not happen. Someone very dear to me told me she is struggling with a loss of love for her husband. She's been through so much pain in her life. So many disappointments and he has disappointed her in a big way. It makes me sad as she is awesome, she loves like no body else, she cares like no body else and he is an idiot to even let this happen. He needs to realize the jewel he has in her and do whatever he can to help her recapture those feelings. He will be a sorry man if he loses her. I want her to love him like it's a new love all over again. There's no feeling like it.

Life is Sweet!

P.S. Feeling much better and will be going to work tonight. Plans are in the works to see Kirk this weekend! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have I mentioned how incredible he is? :) I'm a lucky woman and he is a lucky man!

Two Things

#1) My name change will be legal on March 15th! Woo Hoo! Dropping the Flake....yeah! In more ways than one! haha

#2) Have you seen the Pedigree commercials where they show the dogs in the pound? "Hi, my name is Oliver. I'm a good dog. Just looking for a home." Oliver sticks his sweet little snout out of the chain link fence and looks all sad. WAHHHHH, they tear me up. Literally, make my heart break. Harley is loving it cause I pet him and tell him how much I love him everytime I see these freaking commercials. Glad I don't watch TV much anymore.

Life is Sweet!!!

P.S. Kirk is amazingly wonderful! Didn't get together this weekend as I was slammed by the flu bug. Spent the weekend in bed....that's what I had planned but not exactly what I had in mind! :)

Life Sucks....big ones!

Sometimes, no matter now great things are, you just have to say Life Sucks! Life sucks for me this weekend. This would have been the first time Kirk came to Dallas to see me and I had to go and get sick. Think I may have bronchitis again, or at the very least a touch of the flu...body aches, chest congestion, cough, runny nose...over all feel like shit. Crying doesn't help with the congestion either. I'm just sooooooooooooooooooo very disappointed. I can't help buy cry because I am so sad. I finally find the man of my dreams and then didn't get to see him last weekend and now this weekend too. I miss him deeply. The only way I can get over this is to remember that we'll have the rest of our lives together and in the grand scheme of things I'd rather miss one weekend with him than the rest of my life without him. Yep, he's that great!

Life sucks....big donkey ones!

17 miles....Holy Shit!

I started on an exercise routine back the first part of December. I'm trying to drop 50 pounds before my tummy tuck in May. Down 23 so far (142 total)! Woo Hoo. I joined a gym yesterday and did 45 minutes on the treadmill at an incline. I have a friend who is a body builder and he said that walking at an incline is better than running and will burn more calories with less impact to the joints. I lost the feeling in my legs for a few minutes afterwards and it felt like I was floating for the first few steps. Weird.

Then I get home and Kimberly asks if I want to ride the bikes! SURE!!! We load them up and go to White Rock Lake. It was a 17 mile ride! I did it! Me, formerly super-morbidly obese me! Rode a bicycle 17 miles! I'm really not too sore today, so all the walking I did prior to joining the gym must be working! Kirk told me to drink another protein shake before bed and I did. (Had 3 total for the day.) He said my body needs the added protein after all that training in one day. He also said to take Vitamin C & E. I had the C, going to get some E today. I think that is why I feel pretty good today. My baby is so smart!!! My whole body is changing shape. I feel bones I've not felt for years and years and years. Have sensitive areas I never knew were there...added bonus! And overall feel better than I have since I was a teenager. My energy level has doubled and I really think about something before I eat it. Who are you and what have you done with Lora?

I'll always be a big woman, no problem with that. I like my thickness. I think thick women are more attractive than thin women. Curves are a beautiful thing! But I can be healthy and curvy too! The only thing that wants a bone is a dog and he goes and buries it!

Life is Sweet!

Stupid Women

There is new GL at work. He is moving here from another state and his wife and kids are not down here yet. He told my partner and I that his wife cussed him out, called him every name in the book yesterday because....get this....he didn't send her any roses for Valentine's Day. WHAT?? He acted like this was perfectly acceptable behavior. WHY? His children witnessed the fit the wife threw. How do I know this? Because he was telling us what the oldest daughter said to her mother as she knew Dad had arranged for the flowers to be delivered. He said he sent them through FTD.com but they screwed up and didn't send them.

Here is my concern and hence the title of this post; why do women do stupid things like this? Of course stupid moves aren't resigned to just women. He is an idiot for allowing her to act this way. Never in a million years would I curse my husband or significant other out for NOT sending me roses on Valentine's Day, President's Day, Fourth of July. etc... Where is the respect? Is that how you want your daughters to treat their husbands when they grow up? It's just like women who whine and bitch because their husband is working? Get over yourself!

A very good friend of mine had a fit once because her husband had just gotten in from work and she asked him to go fill up her tank with gas. He refused as he was tired and she threw a fit. Keep in mind she had to drive past several gas stations on her way home from work and easily could have done it herself. Needless to say it wasn't long until he left her for another woman...probably one who knew how to pump gas. It's really not all that difficult.

I guess mutual respect is missing from relationships like that. I guess people think the world really does revolve around them. They will continue to be idiots. They will never be happy because guess what, Skippy, the world does NOT revolve around you! I don't even understand how anyone could think that that type of behaviour is acceptable; to act like that or accept it from someone you "love".

Kirk took me to eat sushi, he held me, he kissed me, he made me home-made pancakes from scratch - not a mix - yes from scratch, he treated me like a lady. We laughed we talked, we truly enjoyed each other's company. He loves me for who I am. I don't need a dozen roses, I have real love. My ex used to send me roses to work but was out with other women on the side. So you tell me which is better? A real man who treats a woman everyday like she is a gift or one who will thrown down $75 for some roses and then take her for granted everyday? I'll take the real man!

Speaking of Kirk, he is simply amazing. He takes my breath away, he makes my heart skip a beat when I hear his wonderful voice. I am truly blessed, he is truly blessed! We have found each other in this big old world. We were meant to be together.

Life is sweet!

Life is WONDERFUL!!

I'd say we look pretty happy, wouldn't you! His name is Kirk and he is sweet, caring, loving, gracious, a perfect gentleman, intelligent, educated, well-read, traveled,successful....AND he is an "I Love Lucy" fan...a match made in heaven if I do say so myself!