Depression is a horrible thing. I have had it for just about my whole life and it sucks. I try so hard to be a "happy" person and for the most part I am but when the depression kicks in it sucks cause suicide seems like a good option but I know I can't do it. I have too many people that need me here. It would ruin my son Matthew's life. He has a wife and family how and I can't do that to him. It would also mess up my husbands, my sister's and my Mom's. Can't do it. I fight it all the time though. Those thoughts creep in my head and I have to fight them with all I am. I was on Zoloft for 9 years and have been off it for 7 months now. I'm not so bad I need it again but sometimes it tough.
Right now I'm stressed over the lack of money and the pressure of finding a job. I know that's why it's rearing it's ugly head.
My heart goes out to anyone who suffers from it.
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
Monday, December 20, 2004
Lora Flake, BAS
I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm an official College Graduate! My niece called and asked her Mom what it was like to be in the presence of a "collegiate scholar"! ha-ha Don't know if I am a scholar but I am a graduate!! I finished with a 3.3 GPA and I'm happy with that!!
Now I need a job!!!
Now I need a job!!!
Thursday, December 09, 2004
New Beginnings
Today was my last day of formal class/lecture. It is a GREAT feelings but also kinda sad because I have enjoyed the educational process so much. I LOVE learning new things and mastering new subjects. I don't feel I have learned enough about some subjects but then have studied others till I am blue in the face. I feel elated but lost, like where do I go now, and what does life have in store for me next! But....I am more than ready for this new beginning. The beginning of a new career, a new life outside of studying; a chapter ends but a new brighter one begins.
With my past work experience and new degree there is no stopping me now. This is a new beginning and I'm going to use it to the best of my ability! God has helped me reach this goal and God is going to help me use it now. I didn't go through all this to not reach my potiential! I am praying that He will lead me to the job He has for me, no matter what it is!
I AM READY!!
With my past work experience and new degree there is no stopping me now. This is a new beginning and I'm going to use it to the best of my ability! God has helped me reach this goal and God is going to help me use it now. I didn't go through all this to not reach my potiential! I am praying that He will lead me to the job He has for me, no matter what it is!
I AM READY!!
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
Marriage
I know why the Bible says it's better to remain single! Marriage is the hardest thing in the world to keep on a "good" level.
What keeps my marriage alive is this " Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserveres. Love never fails." I Cor 13:4-8
What keeps my marriage alive is this " Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserveres. Love never fails." I Cor 13:4-8
This is my precious 4 month-old grandbaby, Mary Elizabeth. She's much cuter than me so I'd rather post her picture than mine
Posted by Hello
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
COLLEGE GRADUATE!! - ME!!!!!!
Wow, I can't believe that in less than 2 weeks I'll be a COLLEGE GRADUATE!! I have worked harder for this goal than anything else in my entire life. I have never given up and have perservered in spite of all the obstacles. I am more proud of myself than ever before.
I was a single parent of a precious little 12 year-old boy when I started, my older son was 14 and lived with his father at the time. I worked 2 j0bs at times, quit my job twice to go to school full-time, took 4 years of "just a semester off", but have finally done it. When I walk across that platform and accept this degree it will be an emotional moment. I thank God for it, I thank my Daddy, my husband, and my big sister Kim. They have all helped me through this. Daddy with his inspiration to work at it and make me reach my potential, my husband for supporting me in the best way he knows how and being there for me even though he didn't agree with my plans, and to my sister for helping me in her own way. She has been my best friend since June 11, 1960 and will always be. We have a bond that is so special and I wish everyone would know what it is like to have a sister like mine. We may not always agree or even have liked each other at times but our relationship is what sisterhood is all about. It's deeper than friendship, we share a bond like no other. We share the same history, and sad as it may be....the same family!! :)
It grieves me that my husband does not see the value in my accomplishment that I do. He has never been much on education and snubs his nose at it. It hurts but I love him just the same. His comment is "I'll be glad when this is over with so we can get on with our lives". I feel that something we want to "get over with" is a funeral or a rectal exam, not a college graduation! Oh well!
I thank God for allowing me to attend Dallas Baptist University. I have learned so much about God and deepened my relationship with Him to a level that I never thought possible. I hope when I am in the "real world" that I will continue to grown in Him, in His love, and in a deeper understanding of what He is all about. I hope I can begin to share what He did for the world with everyone I meet and lead other people to know Him as I do. He is EVERYTHING to me!
Let the celebration begin!!!!!!!!
I was a single parent of a precious little 12 year-old boy when I started, my older son was 14 and lived with his father at the time. I worked 2 j0bs at times, quit my job twice to go to school full-time, took 4 years of "just a semester off", but have finally done it. When I walk across that platform and accept this degree it will be an emotional moment. I thank God for it, I thank my Daddy, my husband, and my big sister Kim. They have all helped me through this. Daddy with his inspiration to work at it and make me reach my potential, my husband for supporting me in the best way he knows how and being there for me even though he didn't agree with my plans, and to my sister for helping me in her own way. She has been my best friend since June 11, 1960 and will always be. We have a bond that is so special and I wish everyone would know what it is like to have a sister like mine. We may not always agree or even have liked each other at times but our relationship is what sisterhood is all about. It's deeper than friendship, we share a bond like no other. We share the same history, and sad as it may be....the same family!! :)
It grieves me that my husband does not see the value in my accomplishment that I do. He has never been much on education and snubs his nose at it. It hurts but I love him just the same. His comment is "I'll be glad when this is over with so we can get on with our lives". I feel that something we want to "get over with" is a funeral or a rectal exam, not a college graduation! Oh well!
I thank God for allowing me to attend Dallas Baptist University. I have learned so much about God and deepened my relationship with Him to a level that I never thought possible. I hope when I am in the "real world" that I will continue to grown in Him, in His love, and in a deeper understanding of what He is all about. I hope I can begin to share what He did for the world with everyone I meet and lead other people to know Him as I do. He is EVERYTHING to me!
Let the celebration begin!!!!!!!!
Monday, December 06, 2004
Grandkids
We kept the grandkids this weekend. Javale is 5 and is quite a hoot. I was getting ready for church and he came in the bathroom as I was applying my war paint and said "Momma Lori, I know how to speak Spanish."
I said "Do you now? Let me hear you say something"
With no hesitation he said "Puta"
It took a great deal of restraint on my part to NOT laugh out loud! I contained myself and replied "I guess you do! Do you know any other words?"
"No" he said
"Well, maybe you should learn some others and not use that one again. Who taught you that word, Javale?"
"I teached myself."
Kids.......gotta love em!!
He had been a pistol all weekend so before the Pastor dismissed the kids for Sunday School I told him he better behave himself and as I was giving him the "warning" in a rather stern voice he puckered up his little mouth and gave me a big old kiss right on the lips! ! How can you get upset with someone when they give you a slobbery kiss!?? What a charmer! He knows how to get to Grandma's heart!
I said "Do you now? Let me hear you say something"
With no hesitation he said "Puta"
It took a great deal of restraint on my part to NOT laugh out loud! I contained myself and replied "I guess you do! Do you know any other words?"
"No" he said
"Well, maybe you should learn some others and not use that one again. Who taught you that word, Javale?"
"I teached myself."
Kids.......gotta love em!!
He had been a pistol all weekend so before the Pastor dismissed the kids for Sunday School I told him he better behave himself and as I was giving him the "warning" in a rather stern voice he puckered up his little mouth and gave me a big old kiss right on the lips! ! How can you get upset with someone when they give you a slobbery kiss!?? What a charmer! He knows how to get to Grandma's heart!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
