Galveston, oh Galveston....

The Gulf of Mexico .......... and the Happy Couple!
Our first time together at Galveston!


Can't help but think of the Glen Campbell song when I say Galveston. Can't stand Glen Campbell but Galveston rocks! Kirk took me to Galveston this weekend. We had a WONDERFUL time! We walked on the beach but only for a few minutes as it was pretty darn windy and cold! I picked up a few sea shells as a memento of our first trip to Galveston. We walked The Strand hand-in-hand and then ate at Willie G's. I had oysters for the first time in my life and they were "off the chain"! Never, ever, ever, ever thought I would like them but....I did! Why would a slimy little raw fish taste good? But it did! When we got back to his house I picked up the Sunday paper and a headline caught my eye "Tainted Oysters in Texas". I said "Uh Oh" and he asked what was wrong. I read the article and turns out they were from San Antonio Bay and were shipped to Maryland so we were OK. We both got a good laugh out of it though. My first time eating oysters and I get sick...that would not have been fun and I guarantee I never would have eaten them again!

Life is Sweet!!

Ipod - Greatest Invention of All Time

I decided I wanted an Ipod last Christmas and was chatting with my sis as I was heading to Target to buy one. Just a Nano, nothing fancy when she tells me my niece is selling her 60GB video Ipod for $250. Hang up! Call Michelle....fast! Sold! I am now the proud owner of this sweet piece of electronic heaven! Never in my life have I enjoyed any material object more than this Ipod. Never! Hands down! No comparison!

Why you ask? Several reasons; #1) I love music! Always have. Always will. When my parents divorced my Mom would take a few dollars and go buy us one or two 45's on the weekends we were home with her and she would put them on and we'd dance in the living room. Those memories are precious to me. We were free. Free from the anger and abuse and underlying tension that my biological father brought to the house. We had so much fun. Music takes away pain, fear, darkness and brings light and freedom to my life. It can take me back in time or soothe me after a hard day! Music is off the chain! I have noticed that when I listen to music and keep the TV off I don't have problems with being depressed either. Major revelation.

#2) You can get ANY song you want on Itunes. Songs that I haven't listened to in years! I just downloaded "The Very Best of Kool & The Gang". Jungle Boogie, Celebration, Ladies Night! I had these songs on 33 1/3 LP's in high school and they are long gone! Now I have them again, right at my finger tips to listen to any time I want. I know everyone thinks the music they listened to in high school was the best.....humor me.....it really was. The music of the 70's was real. The artists performed, they truly played the instruments, they really sang. Not like today's stuff where the dude with his pants hanging half off his ass, holding his crotch, with a drum machine going and a dude high on weed scratches an LP in the back ground, shouts at you. Do you know why rap "artists" are so angry? They can't sing, that's why! That would piss me off too!

I currently have 1032 songs on my Ipod, 2.8 days worth of music, 257 photos, and 11 videos and still have 50.84 GB's of free space. This thing rocks! It goes where I go! In the car, in the house, in to work, to Kirk's. Everywhere! Speaking of, my love for the Ipod influenced him to buy one and he's enjoying it as much as I do! Sweet!

Ipod's are off the chain!

Life is Sweet!

P.S. Today is the 2 month anniversary of the day Kirk and I first met! He told me today that I am the love of his life. Guess what? He's mine too! I told my Mom a few years ago that my ex was the love of my life and she told me she thought to herself that I needed to raise my standards. I laugh, out loud, everytime I think of that! Mom's have a way of being right don't they! She truly was right. I did and look at me now! I gotta say it again: Life is Sweet!!!

Love

There is no feeling in the world like new love. Your feet don't touch the ground, the birds sing prettier, the sun shines brighter, you smile at strangers, your thoughts are consumed by the other person. You live and breathe to hear their voice, to feel their arms around you, just to see them makes your whole day better. When we are young we think that new love is what it will always feel like. Then we grow up. We get hurt. We let our walls build up. We get divorced. We add reinforcements to those walls. We get bitter. We guard our hearts. We don't love like we did pre hurt.

I don't know about you but I want to be able to love like that again. I think I'm pretty close to it this time because I know Kirk is not even close to the category that both of my ex's fall in. I am tying with all my might to look at him as Kirk; an incredible man. He truly is like no man I've ever loved before. I know you may think "yeah, yeah, sure, whatever, Lora!" But remember all the growth and change and pain I've been through. It wasn't all for naught! I truly have learned. I have my eyes wide open and feel I am a good judge of character....now!

I knew the day I married my ex that he was not the one for me. But not a lot of men were lining up to marry a 4oo pound woman so I did it. Sue me! He knew I was too good for him, those were his words not mine. I'll never doubt that he loved me as much as he could. He just didn't know how to deal with a woman like me; dreams, goals, intelligence, and a perseverance to obtain everything out of life that I can. He was happy sitting under a tree, drinking, barbecuing on a homemade grill while watching friends play cards. I want more out of life. I wanted symphonies, theater, travel, good wine, all night long conversation. Passion!

A good friend summed it up for me. He said to not feel bad about 2 failed marriages. He said they are the pre-games that got me ready for the SuperBowl! Kirk is my SuperBowl. I don't feel bad about them as I learned everything I could about love and life from them. They helped make me who I am today. I watched "Little Miss Sunshine" yesterday and there is a scene when the brother played by Steve Carrell is talking to the son played by Paul Dano and the son says he wants to sleep until high school is over because it sucks. The brother tells him that the best things come from suffering. I couldn't agree more. I am the best I can be today because of the suffering I endured in my life up to this point. I wouldn't change a thing! Even having to move in here with Kim has gotten me ready for Kirk. (NOTE: This has not been suffering. I've had more fun in the last 6 months than the rest of my life combined!!) Kim taught me about sushi and Central Market and good food and high class people (ref: "Doctors and Lawyers and Judges Oh My" post). Kirk took me for sushi in Houston a few weeks ago and as we were eating he said "I can't believe it. You like sushi and you know how to drive [aggressively]. You're the woman of my dreams." If not for Kim I would know nothing about sushi! Thanks, Girlfriend!

So, I'm trying to love like I have nothing to lose. It's hard but I want it more than I want to guard my heart. I want to experience all the joys of new love and if I keep those walls up it will not happen. Someone very dear to me told me she is struggling with a loss of love for her husband. She's been through so much pain in her life. So many disappointments and he has disappointed her in a big way. It makes me sad as she is awesome, she loves like no body else, she cares like no body else and he is an idiot to even let this happen. He needs to realize the jewel he has in her and do whatever he can to help her recapture those feelings. He will be a sorry man if he loses her. I want her to love him like it's a new love all over again. There's no feeling like it.

Life is Sweet!

P.S. Feeling much better and will be going to work tonight. Plans are in the works to see Kirk this weekend! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have I mentioned how incredible he is? :) I'm a lucky woman and he is a lucky man!

Two Things

#1) My name change will be legal on March 15th! Woo Hoo! Dropping the Flake....yeah! In more ways than one! haha

#2) Have you seen the Pedigree commercials where they show the dogs in the pound? "Hi, my name is Oliver. I'm a good dog. Just looking for a home." Oliver sticks his sweet little snout out of the chain link fence and looks all sad. WAHHHHH, they tear me up. Literally, make my heart break. Harley is loving it cause I pet him and tell him how much I love him everytime I see these freaking commercials. Glad I don't watch TV much anymore.

Life is Sweet!!!

P.S. Kirk is amazingly wonderful! Didn't get together this weekend as I was slammed by the flu bug. Spent the weekend in bed....that's what I had planned but not exactly what I had in mind! :)

Life Sucks....big ones!

Sometimes, no matter now great things are, you just have to say Life Sucks! Life sucks for me this weekend. This would have been the first time Kirk came to Dallas to see me and I had to go and get sick. Think I may have bronchitis again, or at the very least a touch of the flu...body aches, chest congestion, cough, runny nose...over all feel like shit. Crying doesn't help with the congestion either. I'm just sooooooooooooooooooo very disappointed. I can't help buy cry because I am so sad. I finally find the man of my dreams and then didn't get to see him last weekend and now this weekend too. I miss him deeply. The only way I can get over this is to remember that we'll have the rest of our lives together and in the grand scheme of things I'd rather miss one weekend with him than the rest of my life without him. Yep, he's that great!

Life sucks....big donkey ones!

17 miles....Holy Shit!

I started on an exercise routine back the first part of December. I'm trying to drop 50 pounds before my tummy tuck in May. Down 23 so far (142 total)! Woo Hoo. I joined a gym yesterday and did 45 minutes on the treadmill at an incline. I have a friend who is a body builder and he said that walking at an incline is better than running and will burn more calories with less impact to the joints. I lost the feeling in my legs for a few minutes afterwards and it felt like I was floating for the first few steps. Weird.

Then I get home and Kimberly asks if I want to ride the bikes! SURE!!! We load them up and go to White Rock Lake. It was a 17 mile ride! I did it! Me, formerly super-morbidly obese me! Rode a bicycle 17 miles! I'm really not too sore today, so all the walking I did prior to joining the gym must be working! Kirk told me to drink another protein shake before bed and I did. (Had 3 total for the day.) He said my body needs the added protein after all that training in one day. He also said to take Vitamin C & E. I had the C, going to get some E today. I think that is why I feel pretty good today. My baby is so smart!!! My whole body is changing shape. I feel bones I've not felt for years and years and years. Have sensitive areas I never knew were there...added bonus! And overall feel better than I have since I was a teenager. My energy level has doubled and I really think about something before I eat it. Who are you and what have you done with Lora?

I'll always be a big woman, no problem with that. I like my thickness. I think thick women are more attractive than thin women. Curves are a beautiful thing! But I can be healthy and curvy too! The only thing that wants a bone is a dog and he goes and buries it!

Life is Sweet!

Stupid Women

There is new GL at work. He is moving here from another state and his wife and kids are not down here yet. He told my partner and I that his wife cussed him out, called him every name in the book yesterday because....get this....he didn't send her any roses for Valentine's Day. WHAT?? He acted like this was perfectly acceptable behavior. WHY? His children witnessed the fit the wife threw. How do I know this? Because he was telling us what the oldest daughter said to her mother as she knew Dad had arranged for the flowers to be delivered. He said he sent them through FTD.com but they screwed up and didn't send them.

Here is my concern and hence the title of this post; why do women do stupid things like this? Of course stupid moves aren't resigned to just women. He is an idiot for allowing her to act this way. Never in a million years would I curse my husband or significant other out for NOT sending me roses on Valentine's Day, President's Day, Fourth of July. etc... Where is the respect? Is that how you want your daughters to treat their husbands when they grow up? It's just like women who whine and bitch because their husband is working? Get over yourself!

A very good friend of mine had a fit once because her husband had just gotten in from work and she asked him to go fill up her tank with gas. He refused as he was tired and she threw a fit. Keep in mind she had to drive past several gas stations on her way home from work and easily could have done it herself. Needless to say it wasn't long until he left her for another woman...probably one who knew how to pump gas. It's really not all that difficult.

I guess mutual respect is missing from relationships like that. I guess people think the world really does revolve around them. They will continue to be idiots. They will never be happy because guess what, Skippy, the world does NOT revolve around you! I don't even understand how anyone could think that that type of behaviour is acceptable; to act like that or accept it from someone you "love".

Kirk took me to eat sushi, he held me, he kissed me, he made me home-made pancakes from scratch - not a mix - yes from scratch, he treated me like a lady. We laughed we talked, we truly enjoyed each other's company. He loves me for who I am. I don't need a dozen roses, I have real love. My ex used to send me roses to work but was out with other women on the side. So you tell me which is better? A real man who treats a woman everyday like she is a gift or one who will thrown down $75 for some roses and then take her for granted everyday? I'll take the real man!

Speaking of Kirk, he is simply amazing. He takes my breath away, he makes my heart skip a beat when I hear his wonderful voice. I am truly blessed, he is truly blessed! We have found each other in this big old world. We were meant to be together.

Life is sweet!

Life is WONDERFUL!!

I'd say we look pretty happy, wouldn't you! His name is Kirk and he is sweet, caring, loving, gracious, a perfect gentleman, intelligent, educated, well-read, traveled,successful....AND he is an "I Love Lucy" fan...a match made in heaven if I do say so myself!

Name Change

I'm finally ready to take Daddy's name. It's been a long hard road but I know that he would be very proud of me. I've finally become the woman that he always knew I was inside. I just had to believe it for myself. Now I do. Now I'm ready to become a Mullen.

You know changing your name is a very a significant event. That's why it is typically only done when you marry. You identify yourself with a man, label yourself as being part of him, let go of your old identity. Make a statement to the world as to who you are. It's the same thing with changing my name now. I want to identify with Daddy. I know he wanted to give me his name when I was 10 but I didn't want it then. I was still too hung up on being a "Sanders" and claiming that pervert as my father that I wouldn't give Daddy a chance.

As the years have unfolded all the messages he instilled in me have been there. I may not have appeared to listen when he was lecturing me on #1) Get an education, or #39) Keep this dime between your knees [so you won't get pregnant and will always have a dime to call me to come pick you up if a boy tries to go too far], or #892) Don't have your stereo so loud, damn it! But really I was. My heart was storing it all. I slowly took the reins of my own life. I got the education, lost the dime, kept the stereo too loud, but mostly I listened. I still quote him. He had some great colloquialisms: "If you're looking for sympathy you'll find it in the dictionary between shit and syphilis." He was a Sargent remember!

He was with me when I graduated from college. I had one of his Military pins pinned hidden on my shirt so he could walk across the platform and accept my diploma with me. I wore his sweater to visit his grave so he could see that I finally lost the weight. He used to get so aggravated with Kim and I for stealing his clothes. Said the only thing we didn't take was his underwear! Hey, he had great taste! And now I'll take his name. I'll let the world know that the only man I feel is worthy to take his name is my Dad. He was an awesome man. Never once did he refer to me as his step-daughter. Never once. I miss him with all my heart.

So, Daddy, I know you are here and I know you know but I still want to say it, so here goes. I love you, I'm so very proud to be your daughter. I did listen and and I worked hard to get to where I am today; a college grad with a kick-ass job, a healthy weight, happy, intelligent, and confident. I know you are proud of me. I can feel it in my soul. Thank you for never giving up on me when most men would have walked away. I love you, Daddy. I miss you more than words can say. So, be paying attention because in a few weeks there will be one more Mullen under your wing.

Love you,
Lora Mullen

Holy Shit!

We're going to the Super Bowl Baby! Go Colts! I got a text from my daughter-in-law when the game ended and all it said was "Holy Shit!". I love that girl!

Thanks, Stace, for the pic. I robbed it from your blog!

P.S. My Sweetie is from Baltimore and not an Indy Colts fan...loyalty is such a hard thing! Sweetie/Colts/Sweetie/Colts......... what's a girl to do!

Music; Lover of my Soul

You know nothing speaks to my soul like music. I love it! I love to lay in the dark, turn the music so loud it fills the room, and then listen to the sound of each instrument and how they all work together to produce this amazing sound. My taste is very eclectic; Jazz, R&B, Country, Blues, Hip/Hop, Classical, etc. Don't care for Tejano, Folk, or Gansta Rap (to all the bitches and ho's, thank you God for giving me this talent...what's that all about?). Anyway, I have been on a download-o-rama with the Ipod. I LOVE that silly thing! It goes where I go! I downloaded one of the greatest dance songs ever (in my humble opinion) "She's a Bad Mama Jama" by Carl Carlton. Man, that song has got a great beat, at least my hips like it! I could dance to it for hours. Discovered the "Play Count" on Itunes and have played "Yeah" by Usher 116 times.....ummmm, do you think I like that song? My hips do, they move when it comes on!

Not jinxing my new thing here but heard "Bless the Broken Road" by Rascall Flatts on the radio the other day and it definitely made me think.....

I set out on a narrow way, many years ago
Hoping I would find true love, along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign, pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way, into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That lead me straight to you

I think about the years I spent, just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost, and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan, that is coming true

Every long lost dream, lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way, into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That lead me straight to you

Now I'm just rolling home
Into my lovers arms
This much I know, is true
That God blessed the broken road
That lead me straight to you
That God blessed the broken road
That lead me straight to you

It is an amazing song and so fitting for someone who's been through a divorce and then found the right one. It is exactly how I feel about my marriages, they were just learnings that helped point me in the right direction. My friend David commented on how confident I am, and the amazing caliber of man I have attracted as of late and what impressive resumes they have. Which is all well and good but what REALLY matters is how THE RIGHT ONE feels about me in his heart and vice versa. I am very excited about this coming weekend....which I refuse to comment any further on at this point. I am not overly superstious but not going to jinx anything by opening my big mouth too soon.

The point of the post is that music speaks to us on so many levels. It's great when you want to have fun and dance. It speaks to your heart when you're falling in love. And it helps you understand the broken road that the majority of us have traveled down a "time or two".

I know I keep saying it but.........LIFE IS SWEET!

New Beginnings

Life is funny sometimes. We see something we want, think it would be great for us, make our lives more rounded, would fit into our puzzle just right! We think we know what is best for us. Then God, in His infinite wisdom, has other plans. He gives us things to distract us while He gets the things He has for us in order. I thought the Detective, Everett, was it. I thought he was the one with potential. Now I think he was a distraction until someone MUCH better came along. Someone that fits my puzzle just perfectly. Someone to make me smile. Someone who has all things that make up my dream man and what I have wished and waited my whole life for. We shall see!

The possibilities are endless!

LIFE IS SWEET!

Can I Touch Your Nipple?

My roomie had a friend suggest a black internet dating site to me, so I signed up! Man do I have stories!

The first guy I met used to play for the KC Chiefs, he was a wide receiver #86, handsome. He writes now and is a personal trainer. Tall, very nice build. A little quirky but in a very good way! I like him! We are in touch but haven't had a second date. I met him on New Year's Eve, he wanted to bring in the New Year together but I had plans with my roomies so didn't cancel on them as who knows if anything would work out with this guy or not. We are forming a writing group so if nothing else he has reignited my interest in writing and I plan to complete my novel this year!

I was getting about 10-15 "flirt" messages a day. Some from Nigeria, South Carolina, etc. So, I changed my profile to say you have to be local or in Indy, with the exception being Military men as I will go to them if I like them enough. That slowed the traffic down somewhat. I was getting messages from young men, 21, 26, 32! What the heck am I supposed to do with a 21 year-old other than teach him a few things? Not my job. I need a man who knows what he is doing already! Then I get a message from a man that simply says "I wiill(sic) tear that ass up." Excuse me! Keep in mind I have quite a detailed profile as to what I am looking for, sex is not part of that profile. I also have 5 pictures of me so my size is not a shock to anyone, not that I am all that big anymore, keep in mind I am 5'11" so am already a big woman and I currently am in a size 22. Thick describes me well.

OK, I get a message from a man Saturday afternoon. He is a PhD, graduated from Oxford and Vanderbuilt Universities. He is a college professor, VERY educated, sent me a pic, not bad lookingin the pic, in real life he wasn't all that great at all, 5'10" tall, 44 years-old, divorced, 2 kids, lives in Waco. We decide to meet for dinner that night after talking on the phone. I get to the restaurant at the designated time. He gets there 30 minutes later! Strike 1! We eat, he has severe allergies and can't eat with his mouth closed as he can't breath through his nose. You know me! Strike 2! We leave as the restaurant closed and he doesn't even bother to hold the door for me. Strike 2 1/2! He asks if we can sit in my car to talk. I agree. We are talking and talking and things are going well. Then he makes a negative comment about homosexuals and I tell him my roommate is a Lesbian. He says she will try to turn me. Idiot! Then comes Strike #3!!! It was a big one. He reaches over to caress my cheek (on my face) and then out of left field says "Can I touch your nipple?" Now where in his though process did he think this would be an alright thing to ask me? Hello, moron! I should have said "Sure, if I can touch your postate with a cattle prod!" I was horrified. I said "NO, you can't and this date is over. Get out of my car." Just goes to show you that education does not make you smart!

I immediately chaged my profile by adding a note. Here it is: "OK, one more final note: I am not into casual sex which appears to be the goal of a lot of men on here. My body is a special gift and unless you are worthy I will not offer it to you. If you are looking for a quick lay then keep looking because you won't get it here. I am not a prude and am a very sexual woman but refuse to sleep with just anyone for the sake of having sex." Messages to me have SLOWED WAY DOWN!!!!!!!

I told my roomie about it and she said "And people think homesexual's are the sexual perverts. We have nothing on you straight people!"

I have met a very nice man on the site but don't want to jinx it so won't give any details. I think there might be some potential but it's too soon to make a call!

Stay tuned for more exciting news.................

Virgin Angelina

http://news.yahoo.com/photo/070105/480/wxs10301051909

Kate Kretz, a North Carolina artist, painted this picture of Angelia Jolie as the Virgin Mary. She titled it 'Blessed Art Thou'. In my humble opinion Kate has experienced a random act of genius! Brilliant woman, simply brilliant!

I love the fact Angelina is hoverinng over a Wal-Mart checkout. There is even a fat lady in line at Wal-Mart! Very realistic! Have you been to Wal-Mart lately, all the fat people shop there! I believe Kretz has summed up the assinine, white-trash mentality we have reduced ourselves too. I do believe Angelina is doing great things for the impoverished children of the world because she should. She has the financial resources to do so. She put her life where her mouth is and adopted children who otherwise wouldn't have had a life even remotely as blessed as they will as her children. But we as American's have raised her up to "Madonna" and I don't mean the cone-bra'd one, and she is not. She is doing what she should be, what we all should be, doing! Helping the poor and needy.

I love this painting!

The Preacher Formerly Know as Prince

Even though I was sick as a dog with bronchitis I still went to church Sunday. I went to brunch first with Kim, Kelly, their friends Ron and John, Kim's Mom Nancy, her friends Sherry and Trish. Trish was in charge of picking out the church as none of us attend one on a regular basis--(This is an important fact that you need to remember for later in the story.) Trish has been to some mega church with a branch in Downtown Dallas so we went there. Apparently they have branches in Grapevine, a few other Metroplex cities, as well as Miami.

We see a homeless family get turned away at the front door. Not good! We go on in and sit down and listen to the music, full band with brass and everything. Pretty good. The music is over and the preacher was beamed in via satelitte to a huge video screen at the front of the church. He looks like he just stepped off the set of either the Wiggles, the Teletubbies or possibly he was an understudy for the Joker in the latest Batman flick. He is wearing the biggest tie you've ever seen, it was clown proportion. His jacket is purple. He has to shop at Prince's garage sale! Not only is it purple, it's purple velvet, with....get this....a neon lime green lining that he showed us twice! YIKES!!! The basis of his sermon is the "Stairs of Heaven". Says that God carried Jesus down the stairs of heaven on Christmas morning and compared it to us being on a stair master but never getting anywhere. None of us got what he was trying to say. Anyway, the preacher formerly know as Prince is done and the video screen is raised into the ceiling as a dude who looks like he hasn't had a bath in a week or two is speaking in the mic telling us that we are going to light candles and that the person at the end of the row is the "Candle Captain". Trish was our Candle Captain. Trish wanted to leave then. Trish did. She bolted for the door and the rest of us followed. Nancy says to Kim "She can't leave. She's our Candle Captain." The lady on the other side of Kelly had no candle. Kelly was looking to me to give her a candle but with no Candle Captain we didn't have any. Kelly looked at the lady and apologized and bolted with the rest of us!

Trish is pretty upset over the homeless family so she has cornered a church member in the lobbby as Kelly went to get the car and is giving him the 3rd degree about why they would turn away a homeless family, with an infant I might add, on Christmas Eve. He says that they come there all the time and he told them where to go for help. Isn't a church where you are supposed to go for help? We though so! Anyway, we get in the car and Kim says "Trish, next year you're in charge of the jello mold. We don't care what flavor you bring either. You failed at picking out a church and shirked your duties as Candle Captain."

See why I am having such a great time! This group is a riot!!

Thumbin' on the Curb

Well, I did it. I kicked old Rog to the curb. I didn't want to hurt his feelings but he is not the guy for me and I knew it. The Top Ten list goes as follows:

10) Argues with me about everything. Even the fact that Peter is not a Gospel. It's not, I went to DBU, I know the Bible and it does not say The Gospel of Peter!
9) Never rode in his "good car".....not even once!
8) Never dressed up to take me out.....ever!
7) Never wears cologne....even though I told him how important it is to me.
6) Made me wait an hour and a half on our second date while he watched football and then "Cheaters" before we could go to dinner.
5) Told me to "hush". Excuse me! Do you know who you are talking to?
4) I will never be involved with a man who argues with me about everything....ever!
3) I will never be involved with a man who doesn't think I am worthy of the "good car"!
2) I will never be involved with a man who thinks "Cheaters" is more important than me.
And the #1 reason is.....
1) I will not settle for less than I want, deserve, or desire!

It was hard but I'm glad I did it. One of my best friends asked me if I was crazy when I told him how I was being treated. He said "Lora, this man is not of your caliber and you know it. Why are you wasting time with him? Do not settle because you don't have too. You're a very attractive woman, you're intelligent and this guy doesn't deserve you." I said that I know he is right and was just waiting till after Christmas because I didn't want to dump him before. My sister said if I waited until after Christmas it would seem like I was waiting for a gift and I agreed so that's why I did it today, which ironically is the 2 month anniversary of our 1st date.

I know there will be more. I know I'll get dumped too. I know it hurts but it's all part of finding the right one. I did have a date this weekend, however, my job messed that up! This guy plays jazz guitar and I was going to one of his gigs to listen to him play. I love jazz! I have to work Chritmas Eve, Sunday, and have to be there at 5:00 a.m. so it screws my Saturday night plans. I had to work Thanksgiving too. I am NOT a happy camper AT ALL!!!!!!!

I went out a few weeks ago with a Detective, he is georgeous, successful, very, very nice. I liked him a whole lot but he is a very busy man and apparently not that into me or else he would call. We'll see! I got hit on in the Sprint store Monday while waiting in line. The guy behind the counter got so pissed off at the guy that he snapped his fingers at him and said rather sternly "I need your attention just for a second." because he was too busy talking to me rather than pay attention to the worker. It happened twice! It was pretty funny, and I was very flattered! Of course all these men are black. The brothers love me! So, see why I don't have to settle for the "POS car", I can find plenty of men to take me out in the "good car"!

Anyway, I'm doing what's right for me. It feels good. A few years ago I would have settled for who would have me. Now it's who is worthy of me. My son, David, told me when I was home that he sees a confidence in me that he has never seen before. He said that he understands why I am getting so much attention from men because confidence is very attractive. Plus the fact that I make my own money, and don't want a husband! All good qualities that make me look even better! That statement meant all the world to me. I truly respect his opinion. He has turned out to be a wonderful man! He went on to say that even though his father is successfull that he doesn't have confidence and never will. So, I am finally who I wanted to be my whole life. I know I can do anything I want.... AND.....never settle for less!!!!!!

The Christmas Stocking

Mascara alert: You've been warned!

Last night I got home from having my hair done, which by the way she HOOKED ME UP! The hair is off the chain! The color is copper brown with golden highlights, sexy bangs that fall mid-cheek and the length is just touching my shoulders. She razor cut so the layers lay perfectly! She said I look like Kirsty Allen, I said "Great cause she is beautiful." Anyway, I digress.

Kim and Kelly were putting up the Christmas tree and Kelly says "Your stocking is at my house." and Kim says "Yeah, and the candy in it is the bomb, I've been stealing it. We hooked you up with the presents. You're going to have a great Christmas." And I just started to cry. I tried to hide it but couldn't. Kelly looks at me and says "Are you crying?" and Kim says "Yep, its the Christmas stocking." And I said "Yep that's it." She came over and hugged me and I told her "You just don't know what it means to me to have someone care about me. It's been so long that anyone cared enough about me to get me a Christmas Stocking. I am so blessed to have you both for friends. I love you guys so much, you've been so good to me and I'm so happy now. I know it's because of you guys." Kim said "We love you too. You're a part of this family now and always will be. My family (meaning her Mom and sister) love you, girl! You're stuck with us!" They are a hoot! I love them all.

Kelly didn't hug me but she was crying too. She gets freaked out over emotions and asked me if I was going to cry at Christmas too because she needs a warning ahead of time to prepare for it! She is a riot!

I have been so neglected for so long. I give to other people but don't get back, I gave and gave and gave to my ex and his family and got nothing back. Not even a thank you. There doesn't have to be a thing in that Christmas stocking and it couldn't mean any more to me than it does now! Just to know they care about me enough to want to get me a stocking to hang in their house means more than you can imagine. I guess it's just the symbolism of it. It says they care, that they love me, and that I am important to them. I matter! Everyone needs to know they matter. I know my kids love me but I feel like they love their father more. I know my mom loves me but she loves my younger sister more, and her sister-in-law, and her friends, and the neighbors, and the mailman..... My sister Kim loves me unconditionally and always will so she is not part of this equation. To know that someone who is not my family, does not share my bloodline, cares about me is a great feeling! I am overwhelmed. My cup runneth over.

Thanksgiving Blessings

I am so blessed that I feel like I am bragging to even say how happy I am! This Thanksgiving was wonderful. By any one elses measurements it would rate a 5 on a scale of 1-10 but it was a 10 for me. I worked the night before, got home at 3:30 a.m. in bed by 4:30 a.m., up at 10:00 to put in the broccoli casserole I made for the dinner and had to leave by 1:30 p.m. in order to get back to work that night. So what made it a 10 you ask? Happiness! That's it!

I was checking email and Kim walked in said "We have so much to be thankful for, girl." and I'll paraphrase what I said to her. I told her "I was thinking about how much I have to be thankful for and why I am so happy. I think a lot of it has to do with you and Kelly. You took me in when I had no where to go. You and Kelly have been so good to me. We laugh ALL the time and I have so much fun with you two. I honestly don't think I would be this happy right now if not for you and Kelly. I am so blessed to have you for a friend, Kim." Of course I was teary eyed. She hugged me. It was a Hallmark moment. She replied that it all started 7 years ago when we both took new positions in Verizon in the same department. They didn't have desks for us so we had to share a table in the training room for 6 weeks and really became good friends. She said "Maybe us being stuck in that training room for 6 weeks was to lead us to this time in our lives?" She went on to say that she is blessed to have me living here. How cool is that. I'm a permanent house guest and she's blessed to have me??? No way, I am blessed to be here.

So even though I had to go to work, was tired from lack of sleep, didn't get to eat dinner because it wasn't ready when I left, it was an incredible day! My life is so happy. I love life. I am deeply happy and satisfied with my life for the first time ever! It feels wonderful!!!!!!!!!!

I have a new friend too. His name is Roger and we've been seeing each other for a month now. He is a widower with 2 daughters, 14 & 11. I have yet to meet them as he is careful with letting women parade in and out of their lives, and I applaud him for it. So, life is good. He is a very good man, he is a Christian, tithes, prays, is very funny, and seems to really care about me. I am cautious as it's too soon for anything serious but it's nice to have a man who cares about me and what I think. He said "I know you are gun shy but give me a chance to prove myself to you." You gotta love a man who will say something like that. I have a few other irons in the fire so we'll see how they turn out. It's nice to play the field and have options. It's all strange to me. I think it's the confidence thing. I guess it's pretty attractive on me, I can't explain it any other way. I didn't get asked out on a weekly basis when I was married, or flirted with every time I left the house. It's happening now though! Kim and Kelly tease me and say I have pheromones shooting out my ass, but they only hit the Brothers! Imagine that! They laugh every time a black man talks to me or looks at me when we're out together. It is flattering and I'm enjoying every minute of it.

So, I am blessed. I am happy. I am thankful for my wonderful life!

Fun Sunday

Had a great time yesterday even thought the Colts lost to the Cowboys! I'll have to eat some crow at work Tuesday. Kelly and Kim came home and announced it was time to work in the yard. I really enjoy yard work and haven't done it for years! There was no reason to fight it at my old house. When there are 800 beer cans and old rusty barrels and junk motors sitting around why bother?

I mowed the front yard and Kim transplanted some flowers. She wanted a Rose of Sharon tree moved so we dug and dug and finally Mother Earth let us have the tree. It was a lot of work!! We took a break and went to Home Depot to buy a chain saw and grab some lunch. Kim has a tree in the side yard that needed to come down. It was about 10-12" in diameter and around 20' tall. Kelly is a bad mama jama with a chain saw. I saw a great "Funniest Home Videos" moment and grabbed the camcorder. Kelly cuts the tree down and then started to cut it into smaller pieces when the chain got stuck. She asks Kim to pick the tree up to release the chain. Kim looks up side her head and says with a great sense of indignation "I can't pick that fucking tree up. It weighs 400 pounds." Kim tries to pick it up and of course it doesn't budge. Kelly then looks at Kim again and says "Lift it right here." and points to a spot. Kim then breaks out laughing again and says "I can't pick this tree up." I caught it all on video and it is hysterical. We shall show it to family and friends on Thanksgiving! Kelly had a ball with the chainsaw! She cut down trees and stumps and stray branchs all afternoon! She mowed the back and then Kim and I replanted the tree. We were sore and tired but the yard looks great!

We had fun, I always have fun with those two. I am very blessed to have two such wonderful friends, I really am!

Bob the Dyslexic Penguin

My job can be trying at times, difficult at times, sometimes impossible; but NEVER boring! Friday night we had to stay 1 hour late in order to push more cartons out. We were all tired as we had to stay late the previous night too. I got a call about 11:30 p.m. that we had a transfer trailer so I called the Trainer to handle it. A little while later he calls me on the radio to say there was a Penguin in the trailer and it was scaring him. The guy is a riot anyway! So, I go down there and sure enough there is a 2 ft tall animated/lighted Christmas Penguin in the trailer. Apparently, the store sent it back because the lights on the top half didn't work. I gave him instructions on what to do with the other freight and then took off to handle other issues.

There is a teammember who is only 5 ft tall and has been given the nickname "Scooter" because he is so small and moves very quickly. A few minutes after I had left the trailer I hear the Trainer call over the radio "This Penguin is evil. It's scaring me." Someone answered him and asked "What penguine are you talking about?" and the Trainer says "It's just a penguin. It looks like Scooter in a suit!" I fell over laughing.

The story gets better! The Trainer clears the other freight from the trailer and put the penguin on top of the pallet of freight, secured it with some rubber bands and rode it around the Shipping Wing with a fork lift. Never boring!

Tyson hears all the banter about the Penguin and decided it should be the B2 Outbound Mascot! Done! One of the other GL's wants to see the Penguin so she comes down to the Shipping office and plugs it in. The poor things wings don't flap correctly! So Tyson calls our maintenance department to come down to the Shipping wing to discuss a PM (Preventative Maintenance). He says "What's wrong?" To which Tyson says " Lora needs to see you about a PM. It's not professional." and we hear "I'm scared." A few minutes later he walks into the shipping office and says "OK, what PM do you need done?" and I pointed at the penguin and said "Right here. Penguin maintenance." I crack me up! I decided we needed to give him a name and the other GL says we should name him "Bob". Tyson and I vote that down and then get back to work.

Tyson says something backwards on the radio about 2:30 a.m. and then apologized and said "Sorry, I'm dyslexic but I'm KO with it." We then proceeded to say everything backwards. "4-10" "Dyslexic's of the world untie." Etc, etc! Then, Tyson has a moment of brilliance. He calls me on the radio and says "You know what? We should name the penguine Bob because backwards or forwards, he's still Bob." So, Bob the Dyslexic Penguin was born!

I love my job!