I Quit!!

Friday is my last day! YEAH!!!!

I had a dentist appt and notified my supervisor and he was such a jerk about it that I wanted to quit on the spot. I did the right thing and gave them a weeks notice even though they wouldn't do that for me!

Here is the email exchange that prompted my quitting:

To: Jacob Ba....................
cc: (bcc:
Lora Flake/Temporary/Corporate/B.....)
Subject: Re: Email Volume
Tuesdays is the only day the Oral Surgeon comes in. So it's the only day I can get the tooth pulled. Since I am asking 2 weeks in advance I didn't think it would have a negative impact on the job. That's why I am willing to go another 2 weeks with an exposed nerve in my tooth. I am really trying to be cooperative here.

*************************
JACOB B.........
05/25/2005 01:10 PM

To: Lora Flake/Temporary/Corporate/B.......
cc:
Subject: Re: Email Volume
Lora,
The schedules are set the way they are for a reason. You and Matt get Wednesday off cause we have enough staff on that day but not enough on the other days of the week.

Is there a reason why you did not schedule this for Wednesday. Right now we do not need you to work on a Wednesday. That is why you have it off. Switching your days would only negatively effect Tuesdays service level. what would you suggest we do about this situation?
Jacob
*********************
Lora Flake/Temporary/Corporate/B........
05/25/2005 12:10 PM

To Jacob B........
cc
Subject
Re: Email Volume

He I wanted me to come in tomorrow to have the tooth pulled but I knew I couldn't get off work so I scheduled the appt for Tuesday June 7th at 10:30 a.m.. Will it be alright to switch my schedule and take Tuesday off that week and work on Wednesday instead? BTW- I got here at 11:30 today and will work until 3:00 to get my full 4 hours of OT for Tue-Wed as required.
Thanks
**************
JACOB B........05/24/2005 04:47 PM

To: Lora Flake/Temporary/Corporate/B........
cc:
Subject: Re: Email Volume

thanks for letting me know
Jacob
*************

Lora Flake/Temporary/Corporate/B........
05/24/2005 02:55 PM

To Jacob B.......
Subject Re: Email Volume

As I mentioned in an earlier email I have a dentist appt tomorrow morning. I may have to have a tooth pulled, if so there is no way I will be able to physically do the 4 hours OT between today and tomorrow since I'm already working 11 hours today. I will go ahead and push today to 12 hours and stay until 8:00 p.m. I'll do the other 3 hours the rest of the week, as I already volunteered. But wanted to let you know because of this dentist appt I might not be able to come in.

I know the business needs are your first concern, but I absolutely can not cancel this dentist appt. I've had a chip out of this tooth for a year now and since I haven't had a job or dental insurance I couldn't afford to get it taken care of. Some days I'm in incredible pain as the nerve is exposed and am have been living on Ora-jel to numb it.

If they don't pull the tooth I will be here tomorrow to do the other 3 hours. Not sure what time as I have no idea now long I'll be there. Just letting you know ahead of time what might happen. Do I need to bring a receipt from the dentist office even though it's my day off?
Thanks.
****************
JACOB B.........
05/24/2005 02:08 PM

Subject: Email Volume

Team we are currently backlogged by over 4500 emails. These are all emails from yesterday. We just completed emails from Sunday in the 12:00 hour. Due to this high number of emails everyone is needed to work overtime for email. We need 4 hours from each of you. You can work these four hours today and tomorrow. We will be here until 8:00 PM tonight and as early as 7:00 AM tomorrow.

A reply with history response is required from every employee. Attached is the times available for Overtime. Respond with the dates and time you will work today
5-24-05 and tomorrow 5-25-05 to complete this requirement.

Thank you for you time on this matter.
Jacob.....

*******************

I am just appalled to think that he thinks this is acceptable to treat employees like this. I am almost 45 years old, I've been a supervisor myself and never in a million years would I treat my employees like this. It was always by goal to maintain the dignity and respect of my employees. This company and this man have a lot to learn about people it they think they are going to have a successful business. No wonder they are constantly represented negatively on the news lately!

How Dare You!

I went to the AC program info meeting on Monday the 23rd for Region 10. I tt the lady who presented the program after the meeting and informed her that I had already passed the TeXes test in the EC-4 Generalist area of certification. She told me that that area will close on June 1st so I need to get my app in ASAP.

I go to work the next day and try to access my app online that I had started back in January but didn't finish because I decided to go with DISD. I can't access it so I call and tt a lady who says there is a problem with it. She says she'll have someone call me back.

That afternoon my cell phone rings, while I am on a call with a customer at work. I put the customer on hold and a take the call. It's this woman who was also present at the meeting. She looks like a real life female version of Disney's Icabod Crane! Tall, skinny, with black hair cut in a chin length bob. You could plow a field with her nose.

She tells me that she called me a few weeks ago but that I didn't return her call. I tell her that I'm sorry but I guess I didn't get her message but that I did talk to someone at Region 10. She then says "What can I help you with?" I tell her that I went to the info meeting and that the speaker told me to finish my app online but I can't get into it.

This is the HOW DARE YOU moment! She says "I really don't think you would be a good fit for our program because you are so wishy-washy." WHAT? WISHY-WASHY! How dare you!!! I asked her what she meant by that and she said "Well, you started this application back in January and then changed your mind and went with DISD it says here." I said "Yes, I did change my mind because a recruiter came to my school, Dallas Baptist University, and told me he wanted me in their program because he wanted DBU Graduates to teach in DISD. So, because of that I went with their program. I passed all the steps of their application process, I passed the phone test, the TeXes test, and the interview. When it came down to the end I was told I didn't get in because they laid off 440 employees and didn't have any teaching positions open in my area of certification. I then went to the Principle of Wilmer Elementary School and talked to her to see if she will have any positions open due to the recent changes in the District. She told me to talk to Dr Blackburn and recommended your program." I was livid!

After all I've been through for her to make a character judgement on me and call me "wishy-washy" really pissed me off. I got that pins and needles feeling in my stomach and mouth I was so mad!

I told her maybe it won't do me any good to apply to that program if she had already formed an opinion of me. She did say she didn't realize all I had been through and would make my application available again. She did and I completed it.

We'll see what happens!

Depression

Once again I am in the grips of a major depression. I think it's this job. Last time I worked a Customer Service job I was severly depressed too. I can't quit until I find something else as we are in a tight financial strain right now.

My husbands reaction to my depression is to go drink with his friends and come in anywhere from 9:30-midnight which makes it even worse. I cry when I'm depressed and he can't handle my crying. When I need him the most he runs the other way. Seems men have done that my whole life with the exception of my Daddy! He ran to me when I pushed him away. I miss him.

I am going to a presentation on signing up with another Alternative Certification program tonight. Maybe that will help me pull out of this. I can't believe I've studied all these years for nothing.

My little sister called and wants to go back to school now. I'll do my best to discourage her. It's a HUGE waste of money for anyone over the age of 30.

Lost

Well, to say I am devastated is just scratching the surface. I did not get the teaching job with Dallas Independent School District. I really and truly in my heart of hearts thought it was God's will for my life. I thought for the first time I had heard His voice and was doing what He wanted me to do. Not my will but His. Everything that fell in place with my application to the Alternative Certification process was because He wanted me to teach but now I don't know what I was hearing. When I think of the magnitude of the sacrifice I've made to get this degree and the debt I am facing with my student loans and then to not be able to find a job it beyond devastating.

I emailed my prayer partner this morning and this is a part of her reply:

I'm sorry the job didn't come through for you, Lora. Perhaps God has a different plan for you or there is something else HE is teaching you in the mean time. Or perhaps it would not have been a good job for you....(things aren't always as they seem you know).... I know how hard disappointments can be. Life just doesn't take the path we want it to sometimes, but it isn't the direction you are going that is important -- it is how you handle the bumps in the road that God is looking at. So...just keep on a drivin' girl and you will get there and enjoy the trip too! I'll be praying for you. (emphasis mine)

I can't tell you the amount of healing these words delivered to my spirit! This lady is more than a dear friend, she is almost family! Her husband, the husband of her youth, is fighting cancer right now. Instead of enjoying their retirement years, they are dealing with this disease. In the midst of all her own trials she reached out to me and comforted my soul. God may not be showing His face to me now but He is sending His messengers to let me know He does love me and He cares.

I called the DISD AC program this afternoon and spoke with Dr. DaSilva the same man who came to DBU to recruit. He explained that due to the recent lay-off's at DISD that they didn't have enough positions open for all the candidates but that I would be qualified for the Alternative Certification Teacher Academy It's by invitation only and I could become a teacher in any school disctrict via the Academy. It's MUCH cheaper than any of the other programs so he is going to send me an invitation. He said he had already talked to the head of the Academy about me as he wants me in it because I am a Christian and graduated from DBU. So there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Countdown.....

I had my interview with the DISD AC program yesterday. I was there at 8:45 for a 9:00 appointment and wasn't called in until 9:10. There were people who came in after me that were called before I was. I think that was because God knew who He wanted to interview me. It was a very sweet lady named Dr. Jones.

Dr. Jones took me to a large classroom style room where there two other candidates were being interviewed (two of the people who were called before I was) and we finished before they did. My conclusion is that Dr. Jones either thought A) Wow, she would make a wonderful teacher! or B) No way, Jose!!! I am hoping for A! She said I'll know prior to May 14th. If I don't hear anything by then then I have not be chosen. If I do then that means I am in!

Only 2 more days until I get my test scores. The countdown is making me nervous. The thought crossed my mind this morning of what will I did if I don't get in? I have no clue. All my energy and thought has gone into being a teacher. I can't imagine doing anything else with my life. I hope Dr. Jones saw that in me. All my family and friends tell me I will make a great teacher. I hope Dr. Jones saw that too.

I am trying to have faith and know that what God told me was indeed from Him and not my own desire. I know I am anxious to find out and get going on the training. I can picture myself in my classroom with 20 or so little faces calling me "Teacher". I have visualized the goal. The all knowing "they" say that this is the way to achieve your goals. Picture yourself in the area or situation you want to be in.

Well, enough rambling. I need to go mow the grass. I am supposed to be at "Nightmare on Elm Street" (my temp job) right now but I called in with a family emergency. Guess I can mow while babysitting a sick grandchild. That's what TV's are for! Who wants to go to work for 3 hours on a Wednesday evening anyway? That job certainly doesn't care about anyone's personal life. I've never worked anywhere like that in my life! Hope I never do again either! They are the picture of "moral deflating"!! I guess I need to keep a list of what I think needs improvement but they wouldn't listen to me anyway! There I go rambling again......guess it helps to take my mind off the wait!

People

Working a Customer Service job in a Call Center allows me a different view on people. You don't get to see the faces of those you are talking too, you don't get to read body language, or make a judgment based on appearance. All you "see" is a voice. I have come to the conclusion that there are about a dozen or so categories of people and we all fit into one of them.

1. The rude Arab guy or woman, gets really mad when you can't understand her when she says her email address is ghabquarrraasktaka@yahoo.com so you ask her name and it's twice as long. 2. The computer challenged people who have no clue what a "new window" means!
3. The happy retired guy from Florida, I love them all!
4. The white woman who is in an executive position and thinks she is in charge of the world and going to let you know that you are a bug to be squashed under her Prada shoe and you better.....you get the picture!
5. The old white lady who is sweet as pie! Love them too!
6. The young "dude" who says it "sucks" that we don't rent games! (Love that word "sucks" makes me laugh!)
7. The Asian people who are the nicest people on earth! Very kind and polite on every call!
8. Black people, they are great! ALWAYS nice and never treat you rude! They always ask "how you doin?".
9. Most people from the East coast are short. They are in a big hurry and usually don't have time to mess with this but need to call and gripe about something.
10. The young adult to middle age white women. Most are in a bad mood and have screaming kids in the background. Not good.
11. The kind white people! Male and female! They know how to speak to you in a civilized manner, get to the point, and let you do your job!
12. The Hispanic people. Sweet, kind group! Love to talk to them as their accents make me laugh! Wonderful people!
13. People with "JesusLovesMe" or "TrulyBlessed" as their email address. They are really sweet and I will go the extra mile to help them!
14. Trekies.....huf said!

So which are you?

Teacher Test

I took the TeXes test for my teacher certification Saturday afternoon (4.2.05). It's all over but the crying now! I prayed and prayed about it, I had all my friends and family praying, I studied all I could study with the minimal study tools I was given. So, it's in God's hands. If I pass then I know I am to be a teacher, even though I know it already! If I don't (which I will) then I'm getting my CDL and going to be a truck driver! I can't handle any more of this Corporate America career path!

So, I'll either be "Mrs. Flake" or "White Chocolate" (my CB handle)!

Lessons

In the past I would have thought the trials at my job are a punishment and that God should deliver me or protect me. Now I know that it is part of life and a way for me to show non-believers how a Christian handles these problems.

I talked to the most hateful customer yesterday. She was so hateful I was shaking and even took off my headset and laid it down while she was talking and she didn't even know I had done it! When I was telling some co-workers about it one of them said "Oh, the "Court TV" lady. Apparently she is well known! There were notes from previous calls as long as my arm in her account. The human side of me wants to enter her name and address in every web promotion I can find to let her be slammed with a bunch of junk emails and bogus offers, the Christian side of me says to pray for her because she needs Christ in a major way. I couldn't sleep last night because I was so shaken up at just how mean she is. I did pray for her to get what she deserves and will leave what that is up to God.

I continue to despise this job! The management sucks and have never heard of the word "communication". I guess it bothers me more because I am a Communications major. I asked a question during the first meeting we ever had (keep in mind I started in February) about why we have to hear things in the break room instead of it being communicated to us and the newly promoted "team lead" who I kindly refer to as Loretta Lynn told me that "We ARE working on that." Excuuuuse me! It would be nice to know when there are problems since we are front line with customers. I guess Bush would be good at running this place because he sent our troops to the front line without armored vehicles!

Loretta sent an email to the rest of the team yesterday saying that those of us who work the 10:30-7:00 shift were to come in at 8:00 again this morning. Did I get the email???? Nooooo! So once again poor communication rears it's ugly head. I imagine this is the most responsibility Loretta has ever had and it is challenging to her. She is letting it go to her head big time. This is a text book example of the Peter Principle! So, I smile and try not to let it get me down. I have great ideas and could really help them out here but I am just biding my time till I can get out of here! 7 weeks and 3 days to go!

GHETTO

So many of these people I work with are totally GHETTO!!! They stand up and start singing really loud or yell across the room to each other. Do you know how hard it is to deal with an upset customer when an American Idol wannabe is belting out an off-key tune behind you!

9 more weeks to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Children and Forgiveness

Those of you know know me I am sure will remember a few years ago that David and I were raising one of his grandchildren, Isaiah, and his mother took him while we were at work. It was on Nov 6, 2001. I'll never forget that day. Anyway, Isaiah is 10 now and has been in and out of psychiatric hospitals and on all kinds of medicines. His mother is not well physically or mentally and is convincing this innocent child he is nuts too. I think David and I might be taking him back, but on a permanent basis this time as we will adopt him. Please, please pray for God's will and wisdom in this situation. I feel in my heart that his child needs us, he doesn't stand a chance without us to guide and direct his life. It will be the hardest thing we have ever done as I know it will take a long time to get him turned around and on the path he needs to be on. His life has been turmoil for 10 years and a complete break from his psycho mother is what he needs. She tells him things like "I feel like putting you in the car with me and driving off a cliff" all the time. She said that to him in front of David and I last Thanksgiving. I wanted to slap her. Why would you threaten to kill yourself and your child in front of him???? What possess a mother to say such a thing to a child???

I feel in my heart of heart's that we are supposed to raise him. I've felt that since she took him and even when she asked us to take him back but was too hurt to even consider it because I was afraid that she would take him again. Now he is the one suffering because I wanted to protect myself from any further heartache. Maybe it was for the best because she says she sees now that she should have left him with us. He says he misses spending time with David and riding the horses. He sees me as the enemy because his mother and I got into it pretty heavy after she took him. It will be a challenge but with God's hand on it I know it will work. I just don't want to do it unless I feel a clear direction from God. Please pray for Isaiah! Please pray for his mother! Please pray for David and I to do God's will and to do right by this child if he is given to us to raise!

His mother, Cynthia, was taken off the kidney transplant list. Her heart is bad now, too bad they say for the transplant. She told her Dad that she wants to know that Isaiah is OK before she leaves this world. Maggie and Ashley are doing well. As a mother I can understand that. If we couldn't do anything for her in life maybe we can in death by taking her son.

It has been my hearts desire to have more children and since I didn't get too I embraced raising Isaiah and when she took him it crushed me. It took me many years to find forgiveness in my heart but God was able to help me find it. God's grace is an amazing thing.

I know it will be hard on Isaiah, hard on David, and hard on me... but with God all things are possible.

Job Dissatisfaction

When you hate your job it colors your whole world. There are days when I just want to cry sitting here. I know God has me here for a reason and I believe that reason is so I can pay my bills until I start teaching AND so I won't ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever (you get the picture) be tempted to work in corporate America again.

Yesterday this woman approached me at work and said "Hi, I'm ____ and we haven't met yet. I'm just coming to you co-worker to co-worker before management finds out what you did."

I said" Really. What did I do?"

She says "There are 3 of us who have had to talk to a customer that YOU told could have the price of $13.99 a month . There is another one where you put in the case notes that you set up a second account for a customer and they can't have two accounts. "

"Really? I did that. Are you sure it was me? Because I know that is not the price and I know you can't have 2 accounts at all."

"Yes, I'm sure."

"What are their email address? "

"I don't know but the one is for a guy named Hubert."

"OK, thanks for the warning."

I was fuming! Don't come to me with BS unless you can give me details! I keep a lot of notes and was able to find both accounts. I didn't talk to the lady with 2 accounts at all (this "co-worker" had noted the lady's name on a group spread sheet because the customer wanted a sup to call her and my name was no where on the account. And Hubert I did talk to but never mentioned a $13.99 plan to him and my notes on the account reflect this.

My question is why would she target me? Am I a threat to her? My numbers do look really good. I am still new and I'm doing well. I am quiet and don't mingle with my co-workers because my attempts at friendliness have gone unrequited! Also, I have short-timers disease! She is friends with the young woman who insulted me on my first day. They made us sit with people to learn how to work the phones and a customer made a comment about "I'm a college graduate and sometimes I don't get simple things". When she hung up the woman looked at me and said "College graduates DON'T get simple things." A few minutes later she asked me where I worked before coming to this company and I said "I was a full-time student and just graduated with my Bachelor's Degree." The look on her face was priceless! Maybe they don't like me because I'm smarter than they are! ;)

Then today in the break room I mentioned a call I had gotten to the man who hired me and he jumped all up in my Kool-Aid and told me I could be fired for mentioning a customer's account. It's not like I am out on the street, I am at work. I swear! If you can't discuss customers at work then where can you? I didn't even give details of the account just mentioned something that happened.

I hate this job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have James 1:2-8 posted on my desk:

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perserverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all with out finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave by the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does."

It's hard but I'll hang in there and count my blessings. I'm learning a lot about what I don't want to do and that's work here! I try not to let this place get to me but it's hard to not let that happen. I feel like I'm in a cage and am shackled!

Mean, Rude People Solution

I was reading in the book of Mark this morning about how Jesus was mocked and beaten prior to His crucifixion. It saddens me to think about how mean and rude those people were to him and He was innocent of everything and yet He loved them anyway! It dawned on me that this is the attitude I need to have in order to not let those kind of people get to me any longer!

Problem solved! When people are mean and/or rude to me I will say a prayer for God to bless them. They can be rude to me all they want and it won't bother me ever again!! I will actually feel sorry for them because I know they don't get "it"! Not that I'm even close to being like Christ, but if He can forgive and love people and even die for those people than I can not get PO'd over someone being rude to me!

God is awesome!

Mean, Rude People

Rude people are the bane of my existence. For some it's butt heat (Miss Jerra), but for me it's rude people! I have too many instances when people have been rude for no apparent reason. But rather than jam up my blog I'll just go back to yesterday morning {~~~~~~} (this is the squiggly lines like on TV when someone remembers something!!)

I had to go to DISD AC program to get my "bar code" to take the TeXes test so I can be a Certified Teacher.....hmmm, just realized that people have told me in the past that I am "certifiable"??? Anyway, there is an old fart in his rent-a-cop uniform directing traffic. His mole is the same size as his head and he approaches my car. I roll down the window and he says:
"Are you here for training?"
"No, I just need to run in and get a bar code."
"So, you're here for training."
Slowly this time, "Nooooo, I just need a bar code from the Alternative Certification program."
In a rather annoyed vocie he says "You have to park over there." and he points to a grassy field about a block away. Apparently, I had pissed him off because I wasn't there for training, or maybe he just has something against people who need bar codes? Or maybe he thinks a bar code is something for people who drink and he is opposed to alcohol??? Who knows!

Officer Mole is directing traffic and some idiot is tying to park in the only spot that we can enter the grassy knoll through. He slowly walks over to her and makes her move. I finally park and go inside to get my bar code.

There is a young man sitting at the desk. I belive his basic job duty is to ignore people. I ask him if I need to sign in to get a bar code. He says yes and hands me a paper. No spoken words came out of his mouth outside the original "yes". Then I ask him:

"Do you know what the schedule is for the TeXes study sessions? It wasn't attached to the email I got. "
"Yes, it's attached to the email. She always attaches it."
"No, see right here she says she attached it but she didn't."

At this point a nicely dressed, very attractive black lady tells me that she has a copy of the schedule and will be glad to give it to me.

Mr. Lazy Dude goes back to his job--ignoring me. I thank her and go back to standing there waiting for my bar code. A few minutes tick by and he looks up at me and says in a really annoyed voice:

"Did you fill the form out?"
"This form?" and I hold it up
"Yes" {you idiot} he didn't say that but I KNOW he thought it
"You didn't tell me to fill it out. All you did was hand it to me."
No response from Mr. LD.

I fill it out and give it back to him. He sticks a bar code sticker on it. He gets up and walks like he has shackles on his legs, either that or he is weight training and has those strap on weights on his ankles but it's hard to tell under those baggy slacks. He walks through a door and comes back about 60 seconds later and hands a copy of the form with the sticker to me. Never spoke another word. Lazy AND friendly!

I then had to pour salt in his ever apparent wounds. In my best Mary Tyler Moore voice I say:

"Thank you sooo much. I appreciate your help. You have a wonderful day!"

Rude, rude, rude! Why, why why? Did I "bother" these two men? Does their life suck so bad that they despise every waking moment? Maybe they just hate their jobs? Maybe I have a target on my head that only rude people can see? I don't know but it bugs me. It really, really bugs me!

My husband says that I think everyone is supposed to be nice to me because I am nice to them. Yes, I do! What's wrong with that? Maybe my expectations are too high? I guess I'll have to get used to it but I'll never like it or accept it!

I think I should start a "Kindness" movement in America. Couldn't hurt. Wonder if Office Mole and Mr LD will be my first recruits? I know where they work!

My Testimony

Though life has been hard I know that I have a place of permanence in the middle of life's uncertainties and I have the assurance of God's provision which are based on two very clear principles: trusting in the LORD and doing good to others. This is not an original thought, it was in today's verse that I send out and it really impacted me.

I have learned more about my faith and how the Lord works in the last few months than I have the rest of my life combined. I thought that because I am His child that He would do what I wanted Him to do only because I trusted in Him. I have heard the message of prosperity over and over but I had it all wrong. Just because we are His doesn't mean we will be prosperous in ways that are typically associated with prosperity. In order to make us prosperous in spirit we have to go through the testing of our faith to really understand what it means. I might not be prosperous financially right now but I am spiritually, relationally, physically, and emotionally. The road will not always be easy. He teaches us things and then tests us to see what we have learned. Just a as a teacher is quite when his students are taking the test, so is God. It may feel He is not there but He is, quietly watching from the sidelines to see what we will do.

I thank Him so much for what He has done in my life. I have a much deeper faith and understanding of Him now than ever before. When I began praying for His direction as to what career He wanted me to pursue back in the Spring of 2004 I was open to what ever He wanted for me. I thought that would be a corporate job making $60,000 + a year. I have the experience and the degree so why not? I never thought He would tell me to be an underpaid, overworked teacher! But He did and I just can't explain how happy I am about that. Prosperity is about a whole lot more than money. It's taken me almost 45 years to figure that out, but I'm glad that's all it took. Some folks never figure it out.

Not too long ago I read these verses and they forever changed my life:

17 Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD ,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.

19 The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights. - Habakkuk 3: 17-19

There are no grapes on my vine right now, there is no "cattle" in my stall as I had to sell my horse for the money. But I do rejoice because He has made my feet sure and steady and I know where I am going. The problems of this life do not matter, what happenes to me does not matter. What matters is my eternal life!!

God's Hand

I have already said that I know that it is God's plan for my life to be a Teacher. He gave me more confirmation yesterday morning.

I have to pay for some college classes that I'll be taking this summer as a part of the Alternative Certification (hereafter known as AC) program. I don't have the $1000+ that I need. Yesterday morning I prayed "Father, I know it was your plan for me to be a Teacher. You know that I don't have the money for these classes but I know that you do. Please take care of it for me. I'm trusting in you."

I talked to my Mom later that morning but never mentioned my prayer. She asked me if I would have to pay for the program right now and I told her I would only have to pay for some classes but the cost of the program would come out of my check over the course of the year. She said "It's taken care of!" I said "What?" and she said "The college courses are taken care of. I'll pay for it out of Granny's inheritance money for you." PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!

So this is further confirmation that I am doing what God has planned for me. I have always loved kids and have a special understanding with them. I have a sense of fairness and am always willing to listen to what they have to say. Kindergarten and 1st grade were very traumatic for me so I'll be able to relate to any child who has a hard time separating from a parent all day to go to school. I believe kids are just little people and have feelings just like grown up's do. I consider this a high calling, especially since it is God's design for my life. I know teachers aren't paid well and it's not a "desirable" job to many people, but I can hardly wait!! It's like my whole life God has been telling me this but I didn't connect the dots. At least a dozen times over the course of my life children have randomly asked me if I am a teacher. I'd be standing in line at Wal-Mart and a little kid would ask "Are you a teacher?" and I'd say "No" and then scratch my head wondering if I looked smart or mean! ha-ha Now I know it was God sending me clues!

I am counting the days till I am out of this temp job and on to DISD and a classroom 5 days a week !!! Woo Hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mrs. Flake

I received the "Congratulations!" letter from DISD Alternative Certification program!!! I am now in the program and moving on to the next step in becoming an educator! Too say I am thrilled is like saying the ocean is kinda deep in places! It is so very exciting to see God's hand working in my life. Imagine that.....I prayed for His will to be done in my life and to show me the direction He wanted me to take and He did it! How cool is that!

We went to a trail ride in Houston this weekend so didn't get the letter until Sunday afternoon even though it had come in Saturday's mail. I opened it in the truck and cried. David said he was about to cry too because I was so happy!!

I have to take an English test to prove I can speak English and will do that one night this week!

LIFE IS GOOD!!!!!!!!

A New and Improved Job!!!!!

I got the temporary job I wanted and start in the morning! Yeah! Finally, I'll be able to pay some bills and start a savings account again. I've learned more through this experience than any other in my life. It's been hard to be so compeletely broke and the wolf about ready to chew through the door. But God has been right there and taken care of us through it all! I got my dream of a college degree and we haven't gone without a meal (which wouldn't hurt either one of us ha-ha) and we haven't lost our car or truck, or had the electricity or water cut off....so I can't complain!

I have learned that God has a plan and that just because we are His children doesn't mean that He will act when we want Him to act. He really is in control and will always do what's best for us, even if it's hard and we don't like His methods or timing. I learned that while I do have choices to make, all I want is God's will for my life. So many times in the past I have asked God for things and then gotten impatient and went ahead and made my own way and totally messed everything up! I refuse to do that ever again, consciously anyway! If I did things my way this time I would wait for a corporate job and be making no less than $42,000 to start but I don't think that's God's will for me. I know He wants me to teach. This job is a stepping stone to keep our heads above water and even save a little money before I start the teaching program. Then when I'm teaching I can work on my Master's degree and eventually become a college professor. I know there's not a lot of money in teaching but if I'm doing what God wants me to do then I'll really be rich in every other way possible! God will provide!

I'm excited about my life!

A J-O-B and Being on the News!

I got a job today. It's not what I thought I would be doing with my "fancy book learnin' degree" but the timing of it is perfect! I'll be driving all over the state of Texas going to public schools and day-care centers performing assessment tests on pre-schoolers. 3 and 4 year-olds are a hoot so it should be fun! The not so fun part will be that I'll have a partner who I'll have to share a rental car with, work side by side with, and then.......share a hotel room with! I hope they don't fart in their sleep or not wash their hands with soap! That is my biggest pet peeve in life--the soap part not the farting, although I don't care for that either! ha-ha

Anyway this job ends on May 27th and the Teacher Certification program starts on the 30th! Is that not God's perfect timing or what!! I found out about both the job and the Teacher Certificaiton program at DBU, another sign from God!

When I got home from the interview the phone rang. Caller ID read KDFW. I thought "I don't remember applying for a job with them" and answered it. It wasn't about a job. Our former neighbor has been trying to abolish our school district, the infamous Wilmer-Hutchins ISD for years. The school district voted an increase in our taxes but the school is about to be dissolved so what is the increase going for--nothing! Fox 4 is doing a story on it and wanted to talk to a taxpayer about it so they called me! I was so excited. They filmed me and the reporter sitting on our deck talking about it and then me out with the horses. Harley was in my lap, so Harley, the horses and me were all on the news tonight!

Chicken Skin

When I was a child I'd look at both of my Grandmother's skin. It was wrinkly, almost transparent, very white-almost to the point of being blue- and very dry. Now, at the not-yet-ripe-old-age of 44 I look down at my arms and see that same skin. It looks like chicken skin. I am now a chicken!

See what you get to look forward too!! You live your life. Take care of your children. Abuse your skin. Lay in the sun--sans lotion or sunscreen (heck, I use to smear on the baby oil and fry)--for hours. All this while never giving a second thought that that chicken skin on your Granny's arms would be your's in a few short years.

Well, guess what you young chicky-poos? Surprise! One minute you are young and cute and the next minute Bo Pilgrim and Colonel Sanders are knocking on your door!

Gone are the days of sleeveless shirts! Old women don't wear sweaters because they are cold, they wear them to hide their chicken skin! I believe it was Erma Bombeck who said "Old age is not for sissies"...truer words were never spoken!

Finding God's Path for my Life

It's been really hard to be me the past few months. While I've seen the fulfillment of a 13 year-old dream in finally earning my Bachelor's degree, the lack of a job and resulting lack of money has been the most devastating thing I have endured in my life. I have been desperate at times, I cry almost daily, I seek God's face and wonder why He isn't answering me with a fantastic job. After all, I have earned the degree, I have a pretty good resume, so therefore, I should be able to snag a sweet job!

Today I got the answer! I feel in my heart of hearts that God did not allow me to land a job because He knows me so well. He knew if I found a job that I wouldn't sign up for the training program to be a school teacher. I feel that He called me to the field of teaching last Spring but it was too late to earn my degree in Teaching at that point. So my only alternative is to take the Alternative Certification (AC) Program offered through Dallas Independent School District.

I went to DBU last week for help with finding a job and to get some paperwork completed for the program as I had to have it turned in by the deadline of 2-4-05 . I talked to the head of Career Services and she told me that DISD would be at school recruiting students on Wednesday. I advised her that I knew it was too late for English speaking students and the meeting was for Bilingual students only. She told me to go anyway. I almost didn't go!

At the meeting I met the DISD recruiter. He is from Brazil (I think) and came to America on a soccer scholarship when he was young. He said he likes to recruit DBU students to the AC program because he is a Christian first and that DISD needs more Christian teachers! I agree! He was so good and answered all our questions and gave me some great information. There were only 4 other students there so it was easy for this man to remember me.

Well, this is where the blessing I got today unfolds..............I had to have my paperwork in today before 5:00 p.m. After driving around for a while and trying two different buildings I found the right place. It was about 2:00 p.m. The building was huge and made from concrete blocks with no windows I could see. As I approached the door I saw a sign in red letters that read "If you do not have ALL the information required in your application packet it will not be accepted. If you do not have 2 copies of all your transcripts but they are being sent directly to us then please include a letter stating that. Otherwise your application will not be accepted." I only had one copy of my transcript from IUPUI and have ordered another one but it's on it's way to me, not DISD. I opened the door and walked down a long hall and found a reception area where there were several people waiting in line. I was told to sign in. I looked up from signing in and low and behold there was the recruiter I met at DBU!!! I know God sent him out there at that precise time!!! He took me out of line and looked through my application packet. I explained that I didn't have the 2nd copy of the IUPUI transcript but he said it was OK because he was taking care of all DBU applications! He then stamped all my paperwork to prove it was delivered on time and then asked me for my reference letters. The application checklist said I didn't need them but I had put them in my portfolio just that morning. They had been laying on the computer desk at home. I didn't know why I did it at the time but now I know it was the hand of God. One of my references didn't sign on the seal of the envelope as he was supposed to but the recruiter didn't check for sig's he just stamped them and then turned and told me he would handle it from there!!! I asked how long it will take to find out "if" I've been accepted and he said it normally takes two to three weeks.

At that moment I knew, really knew, that I had done what God wanted me to do. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will be accepted into this program. I was praising God the second I walked out the door! When I got in the truck to leave, the music on KLTY spoke to my heart so strongly. I heard the song "Shackles" by Mary Mary and turned it up full blast and was praising God for what He is doing in my life.

I know now that the reason I have'nt found a job is because God knows me, and He knows me well!! He knew that if I took a job that I wouldn't have signed up for the AC program and wouldn't have ever become a teacher. And a teacher is what He wants me to be. I told my sister just last month when I was home that I feel I am destined to do something great on this earth even though I don't know what it is. Maybe this is it. Making a difference in a child's life is the greatest thing I can do. Who knows, maybe I'll be the 3rd grade teacher of a boy or girl who will grow up to be the President! I may be able to save a child from a horrible home life as I know the signs of child abuse as I was molested by my biological father. I can't think of anything greater than that.

It all makes sense now and I am so excited about my life and what the Father is doing it in! God is so good to me! He knows me and I love him for it. I praise Him and give Him all the glory!