Lost

Well, to say I am devastated is just scratching the surface. I did not get the teaching job with Dallas Independent School District. I really and truly in my heart of hearts thought it was God's will for my life. I thought for the first time I had heard His voice and was doing what He wanted me to do. Not my will but His. Everything that fell in place with my application to the Alternative Certification process was because He wanted me to teach but now I don't know what I was hearing. When I think of the magnitude of the sacrifice I've made to get this degree and the debt I am facing with my student loans and then to not be able to find a job it beyond devastating.

I emailed my prayer partner this morning and this is a part of her reply:

I'm sorry the job didn't come through for you, Lora. Perhaps God has a different plan for you or there is something else HE is teaching you in the mean time. Or perhaps it would not have been a good job for you....(things aren't always as they seem you know).... I know how hard disappointments can be. Life just doesn't take the path we want it to sometimes, but it isn't the direction you are going that is important -- it is how you handle the bumps in the road that God is looking at. So...just keep on a drivin' girl and you will get there and enjoy the trip too! I'll be praying for you. (emphasis mine)

I can't tell you the amount of healing these words delivered to my spirit! This lady is more than a dear friend, she is almost family! Her husband, the husband of her youth, is fighting cancer right now. Instead of enjoying their retirement years, they are dealing with this disease. In the midst of all her own trials she reached out to me and comforted my soul. God may not be showing His face to me now but He is sending His messengers to let me know He does love me and He cares.

I called the DISD AC program this afternoon and spoke with Dr. DaSilva the same man who came to DBU to recruit. He explained that due to the recent lay-off's at DISD that they didn't have enough positions open for all the candidates but that I would be qualified for the Alternative Certification Teacher Academy It's by invitation only and I could become a teacher in any school disctrict via the Academy. It's MUCH cheaper than any of the other programs so he is going to send me an invitation. He said he had already talked to the head of the Academy about me as he wants me in it because I am a Christian and graduated from DBU. So there is light at the end of the tunnel.