So many of these people I work with are totally GHETTO!!! They stand up and start singing really loud or yell across the room to each other. Do you know how hard it is to deal with an upset customer when an American Idol wannabe is belting out an off-key tune behind you!
9 more weeks to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, March 25, 2005
Children and Forgiveness
Those of you know know me I am sure will remember a few years ago that David and I were raising one of his grandchildren, Isaiah, and his mother took him while we were at work. It was on Nov 6, 2001. I'll never forget that day. Anyway, Isaiah is 10 now and has been in and out of psychiatric hospitals and on all kinds of medicines. His mother is not well physically or mentally and is convincing this innocent child he is nuts too. I think David and I might be taking him back, but on a permanent basis this time as we will adopt him. Please, please pray for God's will and wisdom in this situation. I feel in my heart that his child needs us, he doesn't stand a chance without us to guide and direct his life. It will be the hardest thing we have ever done as I know it will take a long time to get him turned around and on the path he needs to be on. His life has been turmoil for 10 years and a complete break from his psycho mother is what he needs. She tells him things like "I feel like putting you in the car with me and driving off a cliff" all the time. She said that to him in front of David and I last Thanksgiving. I wanted to slap her. Why would you threaten to kill yourself and your child in front of him???? What possess a mother to say such a thing to a child???
I feel in my heart of heart's that we are supposed to raise him. I've felt that since she took him and even when she asked us to take him back but was too hurt to even consider it because I was afraid that she would take him again. Now he is the one suffering because I wanted to protect myself from any further heartache. Maybe it was for the best because she says she sees now that she should have left him with us. He says he misses spending time with David and riding the horses. He sees me as the enemy because his mother and I got into it pretty heavy after she took him. It will be a challenge but with God's hand on it I know it will work. I just don't want to do it unless I feel a clear direction from God. Please pray for Isaiah! Please pray for his mother! Please pray for David and I to do God's will and to do right by this child if he is given to us to raise!
His mother, Cynthia, was taken off the kidney transplant list. Her heart is bad now, too bad they say for the transplant. She told her Dad that she wants to know that Isaiah is OK before she leaves this world. Maggie and Ashley are doing well. As a mother I can understand that. If we couldn't do anything for her in life maybe we can in death by taking her son.
It has been my hearts desire to have more children and since I didn't get too I embraced raising Isaiah and when she took him it crushed me. It took me many years to find forgiveness in my heart but God was able to help me find it. God's grace is an amazing thing.
I know it will be hard on Isaiah, hard on David, and hard on me... but with God all things are possible.
I feel in my heart of heart's that we are supposed to raise him. I've felt that since she took him and even when she asked us to take him back but was too hurt to even consider it because I was afraid that she would take him again. Now he is the one suffering because I wanted to protect myself from any further heartache. Maybe it was for the best because she says she sees now that she should have left him with us. He says he misses spending time with David and riding the horses. He sees me as the enemy because his mother and I got into it pretty heavy after she took him. It will be a challenge but with God's hand on it I know it will work. I just don't want to do it unless I feel a clear direction from God. Please pray for Isaiah! Please pray for his mother! Please pray for David and I to do God's will and to do right by this child if he is given to us to raise!
His mother, Cynthia, was taken off the kidney transplant list. Her heart is bad now, too bad they say for the transplant. She told her Dad that she wants to know that Isaiah is OK before she leaves this world. Maggie and Ashley are doing well. As a mother I can understand that. If we couldn't do anything for her in life maybe we can in death by taking her son.
It has been my hearts desire to have more children and since I didn't get too I embraced raising Isaiah and when she took him it crushed me. It took me many years to find forgiveness in my heart but God was able to help me find it. God's grace is an amazing thing.
I know it will be hard on Isaiah, hard on David, and hard on me... but with God all things are possible.
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Job Dissatisfaction
When you hate your job it colors your whole world. There are days when I just want to cry sitting here. I know God has me here for a reason and I believe that reason is so I can pay my bills until I start teaching AND so I won't ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever (you get the picture) be tempted to work in corporate America again.
Yesterday this woman approached me at work and said "Hi, I'm ____ and we haven't met yet. I'm just coming to you co-worker to co-worker before management finds out what you did."
I said" Really. What did I do?"
She says "There are 3 of us who have had to talk to a customer that YOU told could have the price of $13.99 a month . There is another one where you put in the case notes that you set up a second account for a customer and they can't have two accounts. "
"Really? I did that. Are you sure it was me? Because I know that is not the price and I know you can't have 2 accounts at all."
"Yes, I'm sure."
"What are their email address? "
"I don't know but the one is for a guy named Hubert."
"OK, thanks for the warning."
I was fuming! Don't come to me with BS unless you can give me details! I keep a lot of notes and was able to find both accounts. I didn't talk to the lady with 2 accounts at all (this "co-worker" had noted the lady's name on a group spread sheet because the customer wanted a sup to call her and my name was no where on the account. And Hubert I did talk to but never mentioned a $13.99 plan to him and my notes on the account reflect this.
My question is why would she target me? Am I a threat to her? My numbers do look really good. I am still new and I'm doing well. I am quiet and don't mingle with my co-workers because my attempts at friendliness have gone unrequited! Also, I have short-timers disease! She is friends with the young woman who insulted me on my first day. They made us sit with people to learn how to work the phones and a customer made a comment about "I'm a college graduate and sometimes I don't get simple things". When she hung up the woman looked at me and said "College graduates DON'T get simple things." A few minutes later she asked me where I worked before coming to this company and I said "I was a full-time student and just graduated with my Bachelor's Degree." The look on her face was priceless! Maybe they don't like me because I'm smarter than they are! ;)
Then today in the break room I mentioned a call I had gotten to the man who hired me and he jumped all up in my Kool-Aid and told me I could be fired for mentioning a customer's account. It's not like I am out on the street, I am at work. I swear! If you can't discuss customers at work then where can you? I didn't even give details of the account just mentioned something that happened.
I hate this job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have James 1:2-8 posted on my desk:
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perserverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all with out finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave by the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does."
Yesterday this woman approached me at work and said "Hi, I'm ____ and we haven't met yet. I'm just coming to you co-worker to co-worker before management finds out what you did."
I said" Really. What did I do?"
She says "There are 3 of us who have had to talk to a customer that YOU told could have the price of $13.99 a month . There is another one where you put in the case notes that you set up a second account for a customer and they can't have two accounts. "
"Really? I did that. Are you sure it was me? Because I know that is not the price and I know you can't have 2 accounts at all."
"Yes, I'm sure."
"What are their email address? "
"I don't know but the one is for a guy named Hubert."
"OK, thanks for the warning."
I was fuming! Don't come to me with BS unless you can give me details! I keep a lot of notes and was able to find both accounts. I didn't talk to the lady with 2 accounts at all (this "co-worker" had noted the lady's name on a group spread sheet because the customer wanted a sup to call her and my name was no where on the account. And Hubert I did talk to but never mentioned a $13.99 plan to him and my notes on the account reflect this.
My question is why would she target me? Am I a threat to her? My numbers do look really good. I am still new and I'm doing well. I am quiet and don't mingle with my co-workers because my attempts at friendliness have gone unrequited! Also, I have short-timers disease! She is friends with the young woman who insulted me on my first day. They made us sit with people to learn how to work the phones and a customer made a comment about "I'm a college graduate and sometimes I don't get simple things". When she hung up the woman looked at me and said "College graduates DON'T get simple things." A few minutes later she asked me where I worked before coming to this company and I said "I was a full-time student and just graduated with my Bachelor's Degree." The look on her face was priceless! Maybe they don't like me because I'm smarter than they are! ;)
Then today in the break room I mentioned a call I had gotten to the man who hired me and he jumped all up in my Kool-Aid and told me I could be fired for mentioning a customer's account. It's not like I am out on the street, I am at work. I swear! If you can't discuss customers at work then where can you? I didn't even give details of the account just mentioned something that happened.
I hate this job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have James 1:2-8 posted on my desk:
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perserverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all with out finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave by the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does."
It's hard but I'll hang in there and count my blessings. I'm learning a lot about what I don't want to do and that's work here! I try not to let this place get to me but it's hard to not let that happen. I feel like I'm in a cage and am shackled!
Friday, March 11, 2005
Mean, Rude People Solution
I was reading in the book of Mark this morning about how Jesus was mocked and beaten prior to His crucifixion. It saddens me to think about how mean and rude those people were to him and He was innocent of everything and yet He loved them anyway! It dawned on me that this is the attitude I need to have in order to not let those kind of people get to me any longer!
Problem solved! When people are mean and/or rude to me I will say a prayer for God to bless them. They can be rude to me all they want and it won't bother me ever again!! I will actually feel sorry for them because I know they don't get "it"! Not that I'm even close to being like Christ, but if He can forgive and love people and even die for those people than I can not get PO'd over someone being rude to me!
God is awesome!
Problem solved! When people are mean and/or rude to me I will say a prayer for God to bless them. They can be rude to me all they want and it won't bother me ever again!! I will actually feel sorry for them because I know they don't get "it"! Not that I'm even close to being like Christ, but if He can forgive and love people and even die for those people than I can not get PO'd over someone being rude to me!
God is awesome!
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Mean, Rude People
Rude people are the bane of my existence. For some it's butt heat (Miss Jerra), but for me it's rude people! I have too many instances when people have been rude for no apparent reason. But rather than jam up my blog I'll just go back to yesterday morning {~~~~~~} (this is the squiggly lines like on TV when someone remembers something!!)
I had to go to DISD AC program to get my "bar code" to take the TeXes test so I can be a Certified Teacher.....hmmm, just realized that people have told me in the past that I am "certifiable"??? Anyway, there is an old fart in his rent-a-cop uniform directing traffic. His mole is the same size as his head and he approaches my car. I roll down the window and he says:
"Are you here for training?"
"No, I just need to run in and get a bar code."
"So, you're here for training."
Slowly this time, "Nooooo, I just need a bar code from the Alternative Certification program."
In a rather annoyed vocie he says "You have to park over there." and he points to a grassy field about a block away. Apparently, I had pissed him off because I wasn't there for training, or maybe he just has something against people who need bar codes? Or maybe he thinks a bar code is something for people who drink and he is opposed to alcohol??? Who knows!
Officer Mole is directing traffic and some idiot is tying to park in the only spot that we can enter the grassy knoll through. He slowly walks over to her and makes her move. I finally park and go inside to get my bar code.
There is a young man sitting at the desk. I belive his basic job duty is to ignore people. I ask him if I need to sign in to get a bar code. He says yes and hands me a paper. No spoken words came out of his mouth outside the original "yes". Then I ask him:
"Do you know what the schedule is for the TeXes study sessions? It wasn't attached to the email I got. "
"Yes, it's attached to the email. She always attaches it."
"No, see right here she says she attached it but she didn't."
At this point a nicely dressed, very attractive black lady tells me that she has a copy of the schedule and will be glad to give it to me.
Mr. Lazy Dude goes back to his job--ignoring me. I thank her and go back to standing there waiting for my bar code. A few minutes tick by and he looks up at me and says in a really annoyed voice:
"Did you fill the form out?"
"This form?" and I hold it up
"Yes" {you idiot} he didn't say that but I KNOW he thought it
"You didn't tell me to fill it out. All you did was hand it to me."
No response from Mr. LD.
I fill it out and give it back to him. He sticks a bar code sticker on it. He gets up and walks like he has shackles on his legs, either that or he is weight training and has those strap on weights on his ankles but it's hard to tell under those baggy slacks. He walks through a door and comes back about 60 seconds later and hands a copy of the form with the sticker to me. Never spoke another word. Lazy AND friendly!
I then had to pour salt in his ever apparent wounds. In my best Mary Tyler Moore voice I say:
"Thank you sooo much. I appreciate your help. You have a wonderful day!"
Rude, rude, rude! Why, why why? Did I "bother" these two men? Does their life suck so bad that they despise every waking moment? Maybe they just hate their jobs? Maybe I have a target on my head that only rude people can see? I don't know but it bugs me. It really, really bugs me!
My husband says that I think everyone is supposed to be nice to me because I am nice to them. Yes, I do! What's wrong with that? Maybe my expectations are too high? I guess I'll have to get used to it but I'll never like it or accept it!
I think I should start a "Kindness" movement in America. Couldn't hurt. Wonder if Office Mole and Mr LD will be my first recruits? I know where they work!
I had to go to DISD AC program to get my "bar code" to take the TeXes test so I can be a Certified Teacher.....hmmm, just realized that people have told me in the past that I am "certifiable"??? Anyway, there is an old fart in his rent-a-cop uniform directing traffic. His mole is the same size as his head and he approaches my car. I roll down the window and he says:
"Are you here for training?"
"No, I just need to run in and get a bar code."
"So, you're here for training."
Slowly this time, "Nooooo, I just need a bar code from the Alternative Certification program."
In a rather annoyed vocie he says "You have to park over there." and he points to a grassy field about a block away. Apparently, I had pissed him off because I wasn't there for training, or maybe he just has something against people who need bar codes? Or maybe he thinks a bar code is something for people who drink and he is opposed to alcohol??? Who knows!
Officer Mole is directing traffic and some idiot is tying to park in the only spot that we can enter the grassy knoll through. He slowly walks over to her and makes her move. I finally park and go inside to get my bar code.
There is a young man sitting at the desk. I belive his basic job duty is to ignore people. I ask him if I need to sign in to get a bar code. He says yes and hands me a paper. No spoken words came out of his mouth outside the original "yes". Then I ask him:
"Do you know what the schedule is for the TeXes study sessions? It wasn't attached to the email I got. "
"Yes, it's attached to the email. She always attaches it."
"No, see right here she says she attached it but she didn't."
At this point a nicely dressed, very attractive black lady tells me that she has a copy of the schedule and will be glad to give it to me.
Mr. Lazy Dude goes back to his job--ignoring me. I thank her and go back to standing there waiting for my bar code. A few minutes tick by and he looks up at me and says in a really annoyed voice:
"Did you fill the form out?"
"This form?" and I hold it up
"Yes" {you idiot} he didn't say that but I KNOW he thought it
"You didn't tell me to fill it out. All you did was hand it to me."
No response from Mr. LD.
I fill it out and give it back to him. He sticks a bar code sticker on it. He gets up and walks like he has shackles on his legs, either that or he is weight training and has those strap on weights on his ankles but it's hard to tell under those baggy slacks. He walks through a door and comes back about 60 seconds later and hands a copy of the form with the sticker to me. Never spoke another word. Lazy AND friendly!
I then had to pour salt in his ever apparent wounds. In my best Mary Tyler Moore voice I say:
"Thank you sooo much. I appreciate your help. You have a wonderful day!"
Rude, rude, rude! Why, why why? Did I "bother" these two men? Does their life suck so bad that they despise every waking moment? Maybe they just hate their jobs? Maybe I have a target on my head that only rude people can see? I don't know but it bugs me. It really, really bugs me!
My husband says that I think everyone is supposed to be nice to me because I am nice to them. Yes, I do! What's wrong with that? Maybe my expectations are too high? I guess I'll have to get used to it but I'll never like it or accept it!
I think I should start a "Kindness" movement in America. Couldn't hurt. Wonder if Office Mole and Mr LD will be my first recruits? I know where they work!
Thursday, March 03, 2005
My Testimony
Though life has been hard I know that I have a place of permanence in the middle of life's uncertainties and I have the assurance of God's provision which are based on two very clear principles: trusting in the LORD and doing good to others. This is not an original thought, it was in today's verse that I send out and it really impacted me.
I have learned more about my faith and how the Lord works in the last few months than I have the rest of my life combined. I thought that because I am His child that He would do what I wanted Him to do only because I trusted in Him. I have heard the message of prosperity over and over but I had it all wrong. Just because we are His doesn't mean we will be prosperous in ways that are typically associated with prosperity. In order to make us prosperous in spirit we have to go through the testing of our faith to really understand what it means. I might not be prosperous financially right now but I am spiritually, relationally, physically, and emotionally. The road will not always be easy. He teaches us things and then tests us to see what we have learned. Just a as a teacher is quite when his students are taking the test, so is God. It may feel He is not there but He is, quietly watching from the sidelines to see what we will do.
I thank Him so much for what He has done in my life. I have a much deeper faith and understanding of Him now than ever before. When I began praying for His direction as to what career He wanted me to pursue back in the Spring of 2004 I was open to what ever He wanted for me. I thought that would be a corporate job making $60,000 + a year. I have the experience and the degree so why not? I never thought He would tell me to be an underpaid, overworked teacher! But He did and I just can't explain how happy I am about that. Prosperity is about a whole lot more than money. It's taken me almost 45 years to figure that out, but I'm glad that's all it took. Some folks never figure it out.
Not too long ago I read these verses and they forever changed my life:
17 Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD ,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
19 The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights. - Habakkuk 3: 17-19
There are no grapes on my vine right now, there is no "cattle" in my stall as I had to sell my horse for the money. But I do rejoice because He has made my feet sure and steady and I know where I am going. The problems of this life do not matter, what happenes to me does not matter. What matters is my eternal life!!
I have learned more about my faith and how the Lord works in the last few months than I have the rest of my life combined. I thought that because I am His child that He would do what I wanted Him to do only because I trusted in Him. I have heard the message of prosperity over and over but I had it all wrong. Just because we are His doesn't mean we will be prosperous in ways that are typically associated with prosperity. In order to make us prosperous in spirit we have to go through the testing of our faith to really understand what it means. I might not be prosperous financially right now but I am spiritually, relationally, physically, and emotionally. The road will not always be easy. He teaches us things and then tests us to see what we have learned. Just a as a teacher is quite when his students are taking the test, so is God. It may feel He is not there but He is, quietly watching from the sidelines to see what we will do.
I thank Him so much for what He has done in my life. I have a much deeper faith and understanding of Him now than ever before. When I began praying for His direction as to what career He wanted me to pursue back in the Spring of 2004 I was open to what ever He wanted for me. I thought that would be a corporate job making $60,000 + a year. I have the experience and the degree so why not? I never thought He would tell me to be an underpaid, overworked teacher! But He did and I just can't explain how happy I am about that. Prosperity is about a whole lot more than money. It's taken me almost 45 years to figure that out, but I'm glad that's all it took. Some folks never figure it out.
Not too long ago I read these verses and they forever changed my life:
17 Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD ,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
19 The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights. - Habakkuk 3: 17-19
There are no grapes on my vine right now, there is no "cattle" in my stall as I had to sell my horse for the money. But I do rejoice because He has made my feet sure and steady and I know where I am going. The problems of this life do not matter, what happenes to me does not matter. What matters is my eternal life!!
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
God's Hand
I have already said that I know that it is God's plan for my life to be a Teacher. He gave me more confirmation yesterday morning.
I have to pay for some college classes that I'll be taking this summer as a part of the Alternative Certification (hereafter known as AC) program. I don't have the $1000+ that I need. Yesterday morning I prayed "Father, I know it was your plan for me to be a Teacher. You know that I don't have the money for these classes but I know that you do. Please take care of it for me. I'm trusting in you."
I talked to my Mom later that morning but never mentioned my prayer. She asked me if I would have to pay for the program right now and I told her I would only have to pay for some classes but the cost of the program would come out of my check over the course of the year. She said "It's taken care of!" I said "What?" and she said "The college courses are taken care of. I'll pay for it out of Granny's inheritance money for you." PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!
So this is further confirmation that I am doing what God has planned for me. I have always loved kids and have a special understanding with them. I have a sense of fairness and am always willing to listen to what they have to say. Kindergarten and 1st grade were very traumatic for me so I'll be able to relate to any child who has a hard time separating from a parent all day to go to school. I believe kids are just little people and have feelings just like grown up's do. I consider this a high calling, especially since it is God's design for my life. I know teachers aren't paid well and it's not a "desirable" job to many people, but I can hardly wait!! It's like my whole life God has been telling me this but I didn't connect the dots. At least a dozen times over the course of my life children have randomly asked me if I am a teacher. I'd be standing in line at Wal-Mart and a little kid would ask "Are you a teacher?" and I'd say "No" and then scratch my head wondering if I looked smart or mean! ha-ha Now I know it was God sending me clues!
I am counting the days till I am out of this temp job and on to DISD and a classroom 5 days a week !!! Woo Hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have to pay for some college classes that I'll be taking this summer as a part of the Alternative Certification (hereafter known as AC) program. I don't have the $1000+ that I need. Yesterday morning I prayed "Father, I know it was your plan for me to be a Teacher. You know that I don't have the money for these classes but I know that you do. Please take care of it for me. I'm trusting in you."
I talked to my Mom later that morning but never mentioned my prayer. She asked me if I would have to pay for the program right now and I told her I would only have to pay for some classes but the cost of the program would come out of my check over the course of the year. She said "It's taken care of!" I said "What?" and she said "The college courses are taken care of. I'll pay for it out of Granny's inheritance money for you." PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!
So this is further confirmation that I am doing what God has planned for me. I have always loved kids and have a special understanding with them. I have a sense of fairness and am always willing to listen to what they have to say. Kindergarten and 1st grade were very traumatic for me so I'll be able to relate to any child who has a hard time separating from a parent all day to go to school. I believe kids are just little people and have feelings just like grown up's do. I consider this a high calling, especially since it is God's design for my life. I know teachers aren't paid well and it's not a "desirable" job to many people, but I can hardly wait!! It's like my whole life God has been telling me this but I didn't connect the dots. At least a dozen times over the course of my life children have randomly asked me if I am a teacher. I'd be standing in line at Wal-Mart and a little kid would ask "Are you a teacher?" and I'd say "No" and then scratch my head wondering if I looked smart or mean! ha-ha Now I know it was God sending me clues!
I am counting the days till I am out of this temp job and on to DISD and a classroom 5 days a week !!! Woo Hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, February 28, 2005
Mrs. Flake
I received the "Congratulations!" letter from DISD Alternative Certification program!!! I am now in the program and moving on to the next step in becoming an educator! Too say I am thrilled is like saying the ocean is kinda deep in places! It is so very exciting to see God's hand working in my life. Imagine that.....I prayed for His will to be done in my life and to show me the direction He wanted me to take and He did it! How cool is that!
We went to a trail ride in Houston this weekend so didn't get the letter until Sunday afternoon even though it had come in Saturday's mail. I opened it in the truck and cried. David said he was about to cry too because I was so happy!!
I have to take an English test to prove I can speak English and will do that one night this week!
LIFE IS GOOD!!!!!!!!
We went to a trail ride in Houston this weekend so didn't get the letter until Sunday afternoon even though it had come in Saturday's mail. I opened it in the truck and cried. David said he was about to cry too because I was so happy!!
I have to take an English test to prove I can speak English and will do that one night this week!
LIFE IS GOOD!!!!!!!!
Monday, February 14, 2005
A New and Improved Job!!!!!
I got the temporary job I wanted and start in the morning! Yeah! Finally, I'll be able to pay some bills and start a savings account again. I've learned more through this experience than any other in my life. It's been hard to be so compeletely broke and the wolf about ready to chew through the door. But God has been right there and taken care of us through it all! I got my dream of a college degree and we haven't gone without a meal (which wouldn't hurt either one of us ha-ha) and we haven't lost our car or truck, or had the electricity or water cut off....so I can't complain!
I have learned that God has a plan and that just because we are His children doesn't mean that He will act when we want Him to act. He really is in control and will always do what's best for us, even if it's hard and we don't like His methods or timing. I learned that while I do have choices to make, all I want is God's will for my life. So many times in the past I have asked God for things and then gotten impatient and went ahead and made my own way and totally messed everything up! I refuse to do that ever again, consciously anyway! If I did things my way this time I would wait for a corporate job and be making no less than $42,000 to start but I don't think that's God's will for me. I know He wants me to teach. This job is a stepping stone to keep our heads above water and even save a little money before I start the teaching program. Then when I'm teaching I can work on my Master's degree and eventually become a college professor. I know there's not a lot of money in teaching but if I'm doing what God wants me to do then I'll really be rich in every other way possible! God will provide!
I'm excited about my life!
I have learned that God has a plan and that just because we are His children doesn't mean that He will act when we want Him to act. He really is in control and will always do what's best for us, even if it's hard and we don't like His methods or timing. I learned that while I do have choices to make, all I want is God's will for my life. So many times in the past I have asked God for things and then gotten impatient and went ahead and made my own way and totally messed everything up! I refuse to do that ever again, consciously anyway! If I did things my way this time I would wait for a corporate job and be making no less than $42,000 to start but I don't think that's God's will for me. I know He wants me to teach. This job is a stepping stone to keep our heads above water and even save a little money before I start the teaching program. Then when I'm teaching I can work on my Master's degree and eventually become a college professor. I know there's not a lot of money in teaching but if I'm doing what God wants me to do then I'll really be rich in every other way possible! God will provide!
I'm excited about my life!
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
A J-O-B and Being on the News!
I got a job today. It's not what I thought I would be doing with my "fancy book learnin' degree" but the timing of it is perfect! I'll be driving all over the state of Texas going to public schools and day-care centers performing assessment tests on pre-schoolers. 3 and 4 year-olds are a hoot so it should be fun! The not so fun part will be that I'll have a partner who I'll have to share a rental car with, work side by side with, and then.......share a hotel room with! I hope they don't fart in their sleep or not wash their hands with soap! That is my biggest pet peeve in life--the soap part not the farting, although I don't care for that either! ha-ha
Anyway this job ends on May 27th and the Teacher Certification program starts on the 30th! Is that not God's perfect timing or what!! I found out about both the job and the Teacher Certificaiton program at DBU, another sign from God!
When I got home from the interview the phone rang. Caller ID read KDFW. I thought "I don't remember applying for a job with them" and answered it. It wasn't about a job. Our former neighbor has been trying to abolish our school district, the infamous Wilmer-Hutchins ISD for years. The school district voted an increase in our taxes but the school is about to be dissolved so what is the increase going for--nothing! Fox 4 is doing a story on it and wanted to talk to a taxpayer about it so they called me! I was so excited. They filmed me and the reporter sitting on our deck talking about it and then me out with the horses. Harley was in my lap, so Harley, the horses and me were all on the news tonight!
Anyway this job ends on May 27th and the Teacher Certification program starts on the 30th! Is that not God's perfect timing or what!! I found out about both the job and the Teacher Certificaiton program at DBU, another sign from God!
When I got home from the interview the phone rang. Caller ID read KDFW. I thought "I don't remember applying for a job with them" and answered it. It wasn't about a job. Our former neighbor has been trying to abolish our school district, the infamous Wilmer-Hutchins ISD for years. The school district voted an increase in our taxes but the school is about to be dissolved so what is the increase going for--nothing! Fox 4 is doing a story on it and wanted to talk to a taxpayer about it so they called me! I was so excited. They filmed me and the reporter sitting on our deck talking about it and then me out with the horses. Harley was in my lap, so Harley, the horses and me were all on the news tonight!
Monday, February 07, 2005
Chicken Skin
When I was a child I'd look at both of my Grandmother's skin. It was wrinkly, almost transparent, very white-almost to the point of being blue- and very dry. Now, at the not-yet-ripe-old-age of 44 I look down at my arms and see that same skin. It looks like chicken skin. I am now a chicken!
See what you get to look forward too!! You live your life. Take care of your children. Abuse your skin. Lay in the sun--sans lotion or sunscreen (heck, I use to smear on the baby oil and fry)--for hours. All this while never giving a second thought that that chicken skin on your Granny's arms would be your's in a few short years.
Well, guess what you young chicky-poos? Surprise! One minute you are young and cute and the next minute Bo Pilgrim and Colonel Sanders are knocking on your door!
Gone are the days of sleeveless shirts! Old women don't wear sweaters because they are cold, they wear them to hide their chicken skin! I believe it was Erma Bombeck who said "Old age is not for sissies"...truer words were never spoken!
See what you get to look forward too!! You live your life. Take care of your children. Abuse your skin. Lay in the sun--sans lotion or sunscreen (heck, I use to smear on the baby oil and fry)--for hours. All this while never giving a second thought that that chicken skin on your Granny's arms would be your's in a few short years.
Well, guess what you young chicky-poos? Surprise! One minute you are young and cute and the next minute Bo Pilgrim and Colonel Sanders are knocking on your door!
Gone are the days of sleeveless shirts! Old women don't wear sweaters because they are cold, they wear them to hide their chicken skin! I believe it was Erma Bombeck who said "Old age is not for sissies"...truer words were never spoken!
Friday, February 04, 2005
Finding God's Path for my Life
It's been really hard to be me the past few months. While I've seen the fulfillment of a 13 year-old dream in finally earning my Bachelor's degree, the lack of a job and resulting lack of money has been the most devastating thing I have endured in my life. I have been desperate at times, I cry almost daily, I seek God's face and wonder why He isn't answering me with a fantastic job. After all, I have earned the degree, I have a pretty good resume, so therefore, I should be able to snag a sweet job!
Today I got the answer! I feel in my heart of hearts that God did not allow me to land a job because He knows me so well. He knew if I found a job that I wouldn't sign up for the training program to be a school teacher. I feel that He called me to the field of teaching last Spring but it was too late to earn my degree in Teaching at that point. So my only alternative is to take the Alternative Certification (AC) Program offered through Dallas Independent School District.
I went to DBU last week for help with finding a job and to get some paperwork completed for the program as I had to have it turned in by the deadline of 2-4-05 . I talked to the head of Career Services and she told me that DISD would be at school recruiting students on Wednesday. I advised her that I knew it was too late for English speaking students and the meeting was for Bilingual students only. She told me to go anyway. I almost didn't go!
At the meeting I met the DISD recruiter. He is from Brazil (I think) and came to America on a soccer scholarship when he was young. He said he likes to recruit DBU students to the AC program because he is a Christian first and that DISD needs more Christian teachers! I agree! He was so good and answered all our questions and gave me some great information. There were only 4 other students there so it was easy for this man to remember me.
Well, this is where the blessing I got today unfolds..............I had to have my paperwork in today before 5:00 p.m. After driving around for a while and trying two different buildings I found the right place. It was about 2:00 p.m. The building was huge and made from concrete blocks with no windows I could see. As I approached the door I saw a sign in red letters that read "If you do not have ALL the information required in your application packet it will not be accepted. If you do not have 2 copies of all your transcripts but they are being sent directly to us then please include a letter stating that. Otherwise your application will not be accepted." I only had one copy of my transcript from IUPUI and have ordered another one but it's on it's way to me, not DISD. I opened the door and walked down a long hall and found a reception area where there were several people waiting in line. I was told to sign in. I looked up from signing in and low and behold there was the recruiter I met at DBU!!! I know God sent him out there at that precise time!!! He took me out of line and looked through my application packet. I explained that I didn't have the 2nd copy of the IUPUI transcript but he said it was OK because he was taking care of all DBU applications! He then stamped all my paperwork to prove it was delivered on time and then asked me for my reference letters. The application checklist said I didn't need them but I had put them in my portfolio just that morning. They had been laying on the computer desk at home. I didn't know why I did it at the time but now I know it was the hand of God. One of my references didn't sign on the seal of the envelope as he was supposed to but the recruiter didn't check for sig's he just stamped them and then turned and told me he would handle it from there!!! I asked how long it will take to find out "if" I've been accepted and he said it normally takes two to three weeks.
At that moment I knew, really knew, that I had done what God wanted me to do. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will be accepted into this program. I was praising God the second I walked out the door! When I got in the truck to leave, the music on KLTY spoke to my heart so strongly. I heard the song "Shackles" by Mary Mary and turned it up full blast and was praising God for what He is doing in my life.
I know now that the reason I have'nt found a job is because God knows me, and He knows me well!! He knew that if I took a job that I wouldn't have signed up for the AC program and wouldn't have ever become a teacher. And a teacher is what He wants me to be. I told my sister just last month when I was home that I feel I am destined to do something great on this earth even though I don't know what it is. Maybe this is it. Making a difference in a child's life is the greatest thing I can do. Who knows, maybe I'll be the 3rd grade teacher of a boy or girl who will grow up to be the President! I may be able to save a child from a horrible home life as I know the signs of child abuse as I was molested by my biological father. I can't think of anything greater than that.
It all makes sense now and I am so excited about my life and what the Father is doing it in! God is so good to me! He knows me and I love him for it. I praise Him and give Him all the glory!
Today I got the answer! I feel in my heart of hearts that God did not allow me to land a job because He knows me so well. He knew if I found a job that I wouldn't sign up for the training program to be a school teacher. I feel that He called me to the field of teaching last Spring but it was too late to earn my degree in Teaching at that point. So my only alternative is to take the Alternative Certification (AC) Program offered through Dallas Independent School District.
I went to DBU last week for help with finding a job and to get some paperwork completed for the program as I had to have it turned in by the deadline of 2-4-05 . I talked to the head of Career Services and she told me that DISD would be at school recruiting students on Wednesday. I advised her that I knew it was too late for English speaking students and the meeting was for Bilingual students only. She told me to go anyway. I almost didn't go!
At the meeting I met the DISD recruiter. He is from Brazil (I think) and came to America on a soccer scholarship when he was young. He said he likes to recruit DBU students to the AC program because he is a Christian first and that DISD needs more Christian teachers! I agree! He was so good and answered all our questions and gave me some great information. There were only 4 other students there so it was easy for this man to remember me.
Well, this is where the blessing I got today unfolds..............I had to have my paperwork in today before 5:00 p.m. After driving around for a while and trying two different buildings I found the right place. It was about 2:00 p.m. The building was huge and made from concrete blocks with no windows I could see. As I approached the door I saw a sign in red letters that read "If you do not have ALL the information required in your application packet it will not be accepted. If you do not have 2 copies of all your transcripts but they are being sent directly to us then please include a letter stating that. Otherwise your application will not be accepted." I only had one copy of my transcript from IUPUI and have ordered another one but it's on it's way to me, not DISD. I opened the door and walked down a long hall and found a reception area where there were several people waiting in line. I was told to sign in. I looked up from signing in and low and behold there was the recruiter I met at DBU!!! I know God sent him out there at that precise time!!! He took me out of line and looked through my application packet. I explained that I didn't have the 2nd copy of the IUPUI transcript but he said it was OK because he was taking care of all DBU applications! He then stamped all my paperwork to prove it was delivered on time and then asked me for my reference letters. The application checklist said I didn't need them but I had put them in my portfolio just that morning. They had been laying on the computer desk at home. I didn't know why I did it at the time but now I know it was the hand of God. One of my references didn't sign on the seal of the envelope as he was supposed to but the recruiter didn't check for sig's he just stamped them and then turned and told me he would handle it from there!!! I asked how long it will take to find out "if" I've been accepted and he said it normally takes two to three weeks.
At that moment I knew, really knew, that I had done what God wanted me to do. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will be accepted into this program. I was praising God the second I walked out the door! When I got in the truck to leave, the music on KLTY spoke to my heart so strongly. I heard the song "Shackles" by Mary Mary and turned it up full blast and was praising God for what He is doing in my life.
I know now that the reason I have'nt found a job is because God knows me, and He knows me well!! He knew that if I took a job that I wouldn't have signed up for the AC program and wouldn't have ever become a teacher. And a teacher is what He wants me to be. I told my sister just last month when I was home that I feel I am destined to do something great on this earth even though I don't know what it is. Maybe this is it. Making a difference in a child's life is the greatest thing I can do. Who knows, maybe I'll be the 3rd grade teacher of a boy or girl who will grow up to be the President! I may be able to save a child from a horrible home life as I know the signs of child abuse as I was molested by my biological father. I can't think of anything greater than that.
It all makes sense now and I am so excited about my life and what the Father is doing it in! God is so good to me! He knows me and I love him for it. I praise Him and give Him all the glory!
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Granny
My Granny passed away in her sleep on Sunday night, I guess her official date of death is Jan 16th. My Daddy passed away on Jan 15, 2000. What is it with my family and dying in January? It's too cold for a funeral in Indiana. No one else is allowed to die in January. I still don't believe she is gone. Maybe the reality of it will hit me when I see her at the funeral home.
Granny was 89-years-old! She would have been 90 on April 27th. She lived her whole life in Kentucky, Ohio, and Indiana. She had 2 kids, my Mom is the oldest, and my Uncle Ronnie is the youngest. Granny was a pain in the rear to Mom, she was never outwardly accepting to Mom to her face, however, she was to me and my sisters. We knew that she worshipped the ground Mom walked on.
I got to know Granny very well when I was raising my kids. I lived in Connersville a few miles from Granny while Mom lived in Arizona with my youngest sister, my oldest sister was in the Army and lived in Germany. I called her almost every day and we'd talk and talk. When I was 17 years-old and pregnant with my oldest son David, it was Granny who took me to her beloved yard sales to buy things for the baby. She paid for a lot of what we bought that day. I will never forget it. She was from the old-school and had old-school ways but she put it aside and took me around and got what I needed for my baby.
I have a picture of her tiny little self dancing with my 6'4" tall son at his wedding. She is straining her neck to look up at him. I also have a picture of him as a baby with his blonde curls! She has been here a long, long time! I can't believe she is not here anymore.
Granny was 89-years-old! She would have been 90 on April 27th. She lived her whole life in Kentucky, Ohio, and Indiana. She had 2 kids, my Mom is the oldest, and my Uncle Ronnie is the youngest. Granny was a pain in the rear to Mom, she was never outwardly accepting to Mom to her face, however, she was to me and my sisters. We knew that she worshipped the ground Mom walked on.
I got to know Granny very well when I was raising my kids. I lived in Connersville a few miles from Granny while Mom lived in Arizona with my youngest sister, my oldest sister was in the Army and lived in Germany. I called her almost every day and we'd talk and talk. When I was 17 years-old and pregnant with my oldest son David, it was Granny who took me to her beloved yard sales to buy things for the baby. She paid for a lot of what we bought that day. I will never forget it. She was from the old-school and had old-school ways but she put it aside and took me around and got what I needed for my baby.
I have a picture of her tiny little self dancing with my 6'4" tall son at his wedding. She is straining her neck to look up at him. I also have a picture of him as a baby with his blonde curls! She has been here a long, long time! I can't believe she is not here anymore.
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
Depression
Depression is a horrible thing. I have had it for just about my whole life and it sucks. I try so hard to be a "happy" person and for the most part I am but when the depression kicks in it sucks cause suicide seems like a good option but I know I can't do it. I have too many people that need me here. It would ruin my son Matthew's life. He has a wife and family how and I can't do that to him. It would also mess up my husbands, my sister's and my Mom's. Can't do it. I fight it all the time though. Those thoughts creep in my head and I have to fight them with all I am. I was on Zoloft for 9 years and have been off it for 7 months now. I'm not so bad I need it again but sometimes it tough.
Right now I'm stressed over the lack of money and the pressure of finding a job. I know that's why it's rearing it's ugly head.
My heart goes out to anyone who suffers from it.
Right now I'm stressed over the lack of money and the pressure of finding a job. I know that's why it's rearing it's ugly head.
My heart goes out to anyone who suffers from it.
Monday, December 20, 2004
Lora Flake, BAS
I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm an official College Graduate! My niece called and asked her Mom what it was like to be in the presence of a "collegiate scholar"! ha-ha Don't know if I am a scholar but I am a graduate!! I finished with a 3.3 GPA and I'm happy with that!!
Now I need a job!!!
Now I need a job!!!
Thursday, December 09, 2004
New Beginnings
Today was my last day of formal class/lecture. It is a GREAT feelings but also kinda sad because I have enjoyed the educational process so much. I LOVE learning new things and mastering new subjects. I don't feel I have learned enough about some subjects but then have studied others till I am blue in the face. I feel elated but lost, like where do I go now, and what does life have in store for me next! But....I am more than ready for this new beginning. The beginning of a new career, a new life outside of studying; a chapter ends but a new brighter one begins.
With my past work experience and new degree there is no stopping me now. This is a new beginning and I'm going to use it to the best of my ability! God has helped me reach this goal and God is going to help me use it now. I didn't go through all this to not reach my potiential! I am praying that He will lead me to the job He has for me, no matter what it is!
I AM READY!!
With my past work experience and new degree there is no stopping me now. This is a new beginning and I'm going to use it to the best of my ability! God has helped me reach this goal and God is going to help me use it now. I didn't go through all this to not reach my potiential! I am praying that He will lead me to the job He has for me, no matter what it is!
I AM READY!!
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
Marriage
I know why the Bible says it's better to remain single! Marriage is the hardest thing in the world to keep on a "good" level.
What keeps my marriage alive is this " Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserveres. Love never fails." I Cor 13:4-8
What keeps my marriage alive is this " Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserveres. Love never fails." I Cor 13:4-8
This is my precious 4 month-old grandbaby, Mary Elizabeth. She's much cuter than me so I'd rather post her picture than mine
Posted by Hello
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
COLLEGE GRADUATE!! - ME!!!!!!
Wow, I can't believe that in less than 2 weeks I'll be a COLLEGE GRADUATE!! I have worked harder for this goal than anything else in my entire life. I have never given up and have perservered in spite of all the obstacles. I am more proud of myself than ever before.
I was a single parent of a precious little 12 year-old boy when I started, my older son was 14 and lived with his father at the time. I worked 2 j0bs at times, quit my job twice to go to school full-time, took 4 years of "just a semester off", but have finally done it. When I walk across that platform and accept this degree it will be an emotional moment. I thank God for it, I thank my Daddy, my husband, and my big sister Kim. They have all helped me through this. Daddy with his inspiration to work at it and make me reach my potential, my husband for supporting me in the best way he knows how and being there for me even though he didn't agree with my plans, and to my sister for helping me in her own way. She has been my best friend since June 11, 1960 and will always be. We have a bond that is so special and I wish everyone would know what it is like to have a sister like mine. We may not always agree or even have liked each other at times but our relationship is what sisterhood is all about. It's deeper than friendship, we share a bond like no other. We share the same history, and sad as it may be....the same family!! :)
It grieves me that my husband does not see the value in my accomplishment that I do. He has never been much on education and snubs his nose at it. It hurts but I love him just the same. His comment is "I'll be glad when this is over with so we can get on with our lives". I feel that something we want to "get over with" is a funeral or a rectal exam, not a college graduation! Oh well!
I thank God for allowing me to attend Dallas Baptist University. I have learned so much about God and deepened my relationship with Him to a level that I never thought possible. I hope when I am in the "real world" that I will continue to grown in Him, in His love, and in a deeper understanding of what He is all about. I hope I can begin to share what He did for the world with everyone I meet and lead other people to know Him as I do. He is EVERYTHING to me!
Let the celebration begin!!!!!!!!
I was a single parent of a precious little 12 year-old boy when I started, my older son was 14 and lived with his father at the time. I worked 2 j0bs at times, quit my job twice to go to school full-time, took 4 years of "just a semester off", but have finally done it. When I walk across that platform and accept this degree it will be an emotional moment. I thank God for it, I thank my Daddy, my husband, and my big sister Kim. They have all helped me through this. Daddy with his inspiration to work at it and make me reach my potential, my husband for supporting me in the best way he knows how and being there for me even though he didn't agree with my plans, and to my sister for helping me in her own way. She has been my best friend since June 11, 1960 and will always be. We have a bond that is so special and I wish everyone would know what it is like to have a sister like mine. We may not always agree or even have liked each other at times but our relationship is what sisterhood is all about. It's deeper than friendship, we share a bond like no other. We share the same history, and sad as it may be....the same family!! :)
It grieves me that my husband does not see the value in my accomplishment that I do. He has never been much on education and snubs his nose at it. It hurts but I love him just the same. His comment is "I'll be glad when this is over with so we can get on with our lives". I feel that something we want to "get over with" is a funeral or a rectal exam, not a college graduation! Oh well!
I thank God for allowing me to attend Dallas Baptist University. I have learned so much about God and deepened my relationship with Him to a level that I never thought possible. I hope when I am in the "real world" that I will continue to grown in Him, in His love, and in a deeper understanding of what He is all about. I hope I can begin to share what He did for the world with everyone I meet and lead other people to know Him as I do. He is EVERYTHING to me!
Let the celebration begin!!!!!!!!
Monday, December 06, 2004
Grandkids
We kept the grandkids this weekend. Javale is 5 and is quite a hoot. I was getting ready for church and he came in the bathroom as I was applying my war paint and said "Momma Lori, I know how to speak Spanish."
I said "Do you now? Let me hear you say something"
With no hesitation he said "Puta"
It took a great deal of restraint on my part to NOT laugh out loud! I contained myself and replied "I guess you do! Do you know any other words?"
"No" he said
"Well, maybe you should learn some others and not use that one again. Who taught you that word, Javale?"
"I teached myself."
Kids.......gotta love em!!
He had been a pistol all weekend so before the Pastor dismissed the kids for Sunday School I told him he better behave himself and as I was giving him the "warning" in a rather stern voice he puckered up his little mouth and gave me a big old kiss right on the lips! ! How can you get upset with someone when they give you a slobbery kiss!?? What a charmer! He knows how to get to Grandma's heart!
I said "Do you now? Let me hear you say something"
With no hesitation he said "Puta"
It took a great deal of restraint on my part to NOT laugh out loud! I contained myself and replied "I guess you do! Do you know any other words?"
"No" he said
"Well, maybe you should learn some others and not use that one again. Who taught you that word, Javale?"
"I teached myself."
Kids.......gotta love em!!
He had been a pistol all weekend so before the Pastor dismissed the kids for Sunday School I told him he better behave himself and as I was giving him the "warning" in a rather stern voice he puckered up his little mouth and gave me a big old kiss right on the lips! ! How can you get upset with someone when they give you a slobbery kiss!?? What a charmer! He knows how to get to Grandma's heart!
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