Changes

This is the sum view of my vacation. Yep, those are my feet! I was laying on the beach thinking about how great life is when I picked up the camera and took this shot. Everyone should go on a vacation like this at least once in their life time. I've made the decision that I will take such a vacation....a REAL vacation....once a year! It was amazing! We flew in the Cancun, Mexico airport on Mother's Day and spent the next 5 days and 4 nights being pampered and enjoying life to the fullest! We had spa treatments; I went for the Hot Stone Massage (heaven on earth),went snorkling, explored the Mayan Ruins, shopping in Playa del Carmen where Kim, Nancy and I had our hair braided and the poor woman was exhausted because my hair is so thick! It was cute but man does it hurt to take it out! I had the time of my life on this vacation!!!


While on the massage table I made a decision to take control of my life and end this relationship with Kirk. I got back on Friday and called him Saturday, no return call, he logged onto Yahoo IM on Sunday and I was on the PC as well so shot him a message and told him he needed to call me. He did. I told him that I can't do this anymore. We have seen each other only one time in the last 10 weeks. That is not even a casual relationship. Of course he gave me the the "it's not you it's me" speech. But I already knew that. Said he didn't have balance in his life and didn't mean to hurt me. But he did. So, I am moving on. If we can make time to see each other then great, if not, it's OK. I want to wait on him but I know what will happen if I do....I'll be waiting forever. I am a damn good woman with a heart of gold. I deserve a good man who will put me first. I refuse to make someone a priority in my life when I am just an option in his!

So....he's been calling, and IM'ing again! Telling me he loves me, he misses me, etc. Damn his ass! Why do men play these games? Is it the thrill of the chase? Are they just cruel my nature? Or is he just fucked up? I will not lump all men in the same category as him but it would be really easy to. It hurts, I'm still crying as I still have feelings for him. I want him to realize what he has in me but my head tells me that won't happen. I need to move on. I turned my phone off last night so he couldn't make the 5:00 a.m. call to me to tell he how much he's thinking of me. He needs to get my voice mail. I need to get my sleep. He called again today, as usual, and like an idiot I answered the phone. He said he can't find another woman because none compare to me. Well, hell, I knew that! haha Why didn't he tell me that shit when before I broke up with him? I just don't understand, if he really thinks I am so great then why isn't he doing everything in his power to get me back? MEN!!!

So, I'm taking my precious son's advice. David told me (and I quote) "Mom, kick his ass to the curb. This is the time of your life and you dont' have time for his shit. Play the field. This is summer and you should have a good time, date around and don't tie yourself down to one man. You are a catch, Mom. Enjoy yourself!" Now with advice like that how could I not take it. And I know my son has my best interest at heart!

So look out Summer of 2007....here I come!